Bloody Nightmare (R21)

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Restricted to persons 21 years & above (Violence)

I was rudely awaken this morning by a traumatizing nightmare (luckily my mum also helped by waking me up, cutting short my nightmare). Anyway, had this very weird dream that I was in a coffee shop with my friends then the scene cut to an ancient sacrificial ceremony where someone laid on a rock and how his legs and head were crushed by a big piece of rock carried by others who helped performed the sacrifice. Seemed that the rock is a scared rock. I did not see the head and legs being crushed but then I heard a lady scream and the rock had blood on it... Gross! Disgusted even as I am typing about it now... they looked like egyptians. Anyway, the scene soon cut back to the coffee shop and I seem to have the message "not to follow a religion blindly". I was tend rudely awakened... Must be that traumatizing movie poster I saw yesterday.

Being Reminded of his Grace

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Went to cell today... was especially quiet, maybe because I am still reflecting on something about the movie I had watched earlier and also maybe I am still shy amidst this group of people (this is only my 2nd time coming to cell).

Anyway, today's cell discussed last week's sermon, which centred around Matthew 11:28-30, asking all who are weary to come the Lord, let go of control and take on the yoke of Christ (so that we can move with Christ, to the right direction at the right pace) and learn his gentleness and humbleness. Our cell leader asked us a few questions and this cause me to ponder for a second about it:

• What kind of stresses do you have?
• How do you cope with this stress?
• Is it difficult to turn to Jesus when facing such stress? Why?
• What do you need to know before you can turn to Jesus when faced with stress?

After the discussion, it becomes clear that most of us usually find it difficult to turn to Jesus when faced with stresses as this normally would mean giving up control. Also, most of the time, we are too focused on the problem that we forget about Jesus and the Grace of God. We need t constantly be reminded about the Grace of God and how he has provided for us before we can turn to Jesus. For me, though I am trying to build God into my life, I am still struggling. For now, I am constantly reminding myself of the grace of God everytime I go for service and give thanks and when I write on this blog. Realized that I am chronicling how his Grace has touched me with this blog and this blog can remind me, in times of need, how I can always turn to him for help.

I thank God for my cell, all nice people and for bringing me back to Christ.

I Still have Time...

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"Don't even think of using this potion"
童梦奇缘: A fairytale reminding us the meaning of life
Source: http://fun.china.com/zh_cn/movie/news/205/20050909/12641093.html

Yes! I finally get to catch the Andy Lau's movie "Wait Till You're Older" at Tampines Mall. My friend came online and asked if I would be keen to watch the movie with him (of coz!) and since I will be having cell in Pasir Ris in the evening later, we arranged to meet in Tampines.

I still do not get it... The movie is barely released for just a few days but then you don't find it screening at many places (at least not in the city). Even the screening slots are so few... At tampines, there were only 3 slots, 2.30pm, 5pm and 11.30pm... This is a new release yet the slot allocation for this movie made it seem like it is an old movie waiting to be taken off the screen. Anyway, as I walked into the cinema to get the tickets, a movie poster for an upcoming movie release caught my eye. It was for the movie "Cello" and the poster presented a women in blood stained dress standing in front of you with blood stained windows behind her... Is this what people love to watch? No wonder the world is becoming more topsy-turvy nowadays... all codfishy can do is sigh...

Anyway, never regret watching "Wait Till You're Older", in fact I do recommend that people watch this show to balance their movie diet... I learnt many a lessons from this movie.

The movie was about this troubled boy who hated his father for making him lose his mother (to suicide) and lamanted being in his new family. Every once in a while, you would find him running away from home, going to their old home where he once stayed with his mother. In fact, he has done this so many times that his father, including the police, will know where to find him everytime he runs away.

To persuade the child to return home, his father will usually negotiate terms with ths boy and pay him to return... and because the police once told the boy "there is no point running away because we recognize you and will eventually find you", the boy have been saving up day after day and waiting for a day when he has saved enough and run away and noone can find him because noone can recognize him. You journey with this boy as he grows from a defiant little boy to the time he meets a vagabond scientist with his "fast growth" potion and finally to the time he learns important lessons of life, only to realize that despite regretting his decision, there is no turning back... he was outgrowing his father and would soon die.

My friend has told me to bring along tissue just in case I need it and I thought "bah! I won't cry". But the ending was really touching, too touching. Well, I almost teared. OK OK, I teared a bit... OK OK I cried la... In fact, was hoping that they do not switch on the lights too soon after the show ends so that my tears can dry up, or else very paisay one... :) I love the twist at the end of the movie but will not spoil it for you by telling you about it.

The movie had with it a lot of lessons to be learn. Lessons for parents to learn that parenting is not just pampering your child with money and material things that he/she wants. Lesson for families that everyone in the family is important, you can't do with anyone less. Lesson for all of us that there are usually many perspective to a problem and we should always be open to those perspectives. Finally a lesson about time, you may feel you have a lot of time now to wait but at the end of the day, what matters most is relationships as everyone yearns to be loved and understood. All of us are given the same amount of time, it is just how we use it (hahaha, seems to be reinforcing what I am hearing at sermon). It is not too late... I particularly loved this scene in the movie where 光仔 (the boy played by Andy Lau) went to look for the vagabond scientist, throwing tantrums, making demands that he fix the situation, only to learn that there is no turning back... the vagabond scientist said:

"It is never too late, just as I told you that there will always be hope tomorrow. Though we cannot turn back time, we can always cherish what we have and live each day properly, valuing it!"

Seemingly being awoken by the scientist, 光仔 finally found courage to meet his father, telling him about his ordeal, sharing with him the lesson he had learnt:

"I have now learnt that we are all given the same amount of time in our lives, it is how we are using this time allocated to us"

Finally, there was this scene where he stood outside the cinema standing besides his girlfriend (who did not recognize him because he had aged tremendously). His girlfriend was waiting for 光仔 to turn up. As the cinema was closing, the old 光仔 turned to ask her why she is not going home yet? She replied that she is still faithfully waiting for her boyfriend to arrive. At this point, you can hear 光仔 mumbling to himself as he was walking away:

"Everyone, except me, seems to have all the time in the world"

Definitely a good show to watch!

A Touch of Ingenuity & Creativity

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Wow, this guy must be real talented, his map really did look real and I thought

"Finally Singapore is going to be so accessible!"

Must give him credit for his hard work, though some adults might think "this boy ah, really a nuisance (I was thinking how to spell this word in the morning, somehow forgot how to spell... kept coming to my mind as nusense... knew somehow it looked wrong)." Well, at least it attracted some attention from the authorities, clarifying that the map is not an endorsed map but acknowledging Calvin's (the map creator) talent, wow! I would have thought a harsher statement would have been released. Phew!

The New Paper headlines read "I wasn't out to fool people".

Anyway, let's give credit to his map la, can see the passion and effort... but of course, make belief only la, who knows maybe LTA may even make reference to this when planning their train system, yoohoo! then the day will come when Singapore will be more accessible. Of course, hopefully no more white elephants queue up in front of "unopened stations" *cheeky*

From the Electric New Paper: He cited some points on the detailed map that should have alerted people that it was not the official one.

First, an official map wouldn't have shown the Changi Skytrain because it was not part of the rail network, said Calvin.

Similarly, it wouldn't have shown the Sentosa Express - a light rail system reportedly using a different type of train and tracks.

Calvin speaks and clears the air @ http://serview.blogspot.com/2005_09_01_serview_archive.html#112758429525594336

Meanwhile, the map is here:

What's Next?

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Avian Flu...
Tsunami...
Sep 11...
SARS...
Bali bombings...
London bombings...
High profile murder cases...
Mad Cow Disease...

what's next?

What on earth is wrong with these people?

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Woke up early this morning and was watching "Primetime Morning" and it seems that terrorism is the talk of the town... vilgilance up here, vigilance up there, bombing here, bombing there, terrorist threat here, terrorist threat there... you get the idea.

I mean, what's wrong with these people? Can someone enlighten me? They brain-washed ah?

Food for Thought (for terrorists): Why resort to killing innocent fellow human beings to get a point across?! Aggression against oppression? For holy cause? How much holier are you when you kill innocent others? How much aggression is justified since you are also, in a way, oppressing innocent people? What is wrong with you?

The threat now seems closer and everytime I step out of my house, I will think "Is this my last day on human earth?" This is the second time I am experiencing this, the first time being in NS when I heard that my camp had a bomb scare... was also thinking "will today be my last day"?

What is wrong with these people?!

I am 15, Going on 80

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http://ent.qq.com/zt/2005/tongmeng/index.shtml

Wanna watch!

I seldom feel that I strongly wanna watch a movie but then the recent movie by Andy Lau, "Wait Till You are Older" (童梦奇缘) seems to be one worth catching... Kind of like a meaniingful show but then the funny thing is that it is not shown in city at all. Both me and my friend made our way to Cityhall, hoping to catch the movie but then do not see it being screened in Suntec nor Marina Square. So disappointing! What's wrong?!

Anyway, think this story is similar to Tom Hank's "BIG" about this boy who wanted to be a grown up and indeed he did the next morning.

See how Andy Lau ages...

http://ent.qq.com/zt/2005/tongmeng/index.shtml

Don't Rock the Boat

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Sometimes, I can't help but feel that no matter how "stable" a relationship may seem, there is always the possibility of it going awry. Experienced that today...

canoe leaving (2) by joseboa

A Bad Remark
Was out happy cycling with my friend at East Coast and we were chit-chatting and checking something out at Funan when he suddenly made a remark which upsetted me a lot... we were walking and talking about a fellow friends' upcoming wedding and he jokingly mentioned that all who graduated from my JC are stupid... I went all quiet... I later told him that I was upset with the remark he made, especially since I had developed a strong sense of belonging to my college... He did apologize and mentioned that he meant it as a joke. I remained quiet and must have looked terribly upset. Just amazed how sudden this came about... a moment we can be having fun chit-chatting, the next moment...

Anyway, had the opportunity to sit down with him soon after for dinner and I shared why I reacted to his remark. Told him that I came from a low-ranking JC and that we are occasionally looked down by people for being at the lower rung of the ranking system. Though being from a low-ranking JC, we are basically still human beings, aren't we... not stupid beings... we are there maybe because we are relatively less academically inclined than others and not that we are stupid. I loved my JC because despite it being in the lower rung of the ranking system in the past, I enjoyed my brief stay in that colleged and had managed to build many memorable relationships with my classmates there; the culture was one which focused on care and service and I can really feel that in the college. I do not feel unnecesary pressure because the students don't need to live up to expectations of the JC to be competitive and maintain its high ranking...

Low-Ranking Schools = Worthless?
This reminded me why I was so against the school ranking system in the past. I felt that the system was really making the "better" schools better and the "bad" schools "worse off". Come on, realistically speaking, if you can "make it" academically, won't you naturally choose to go to a higher-ranking school? It thus becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy... the old school ranking system just streamlined all the academically inclined students to the better schools and in the end everyone says "see, indeed these schools are really quality schools... look at the results they produce". Aren't we all in the end taking the same "A" levels paper regardless which JC we were from? All have equal chances to obtaining a place in the university.

I have developed a love for my college because I am who I am today because of my JC... Yes, I wasn't academically inclined and my "A" levels wasn't filled with impressive "A" grades but then I developed strong work and learning ethics from the CCAs I joined in JC; I was at one point in time:

• Class Representative
• Treasurer of 2 CCAs
• Section Leader of CCA
  
• President of the Library
  

and I grew a lot from there.... My character also developed from the various tasks I undertook in these CCAs. I had dedicated teachers who helped us with our studies but what do these teachers get in return? Teachers, staff and students alike are all labelled "low grade beings" from "low-ranking institution". Fortunately, the school ranking is no longer in place.

Anyway, my views about the ranking system is not the issue here. You can definitely see how strongly I feel about this; I had even once scolded a friend who told me he was so ashamed being associated with such a low-ranking JC. I am just so upset how things can sometimes go wrong despite how strong a relationship can be. This being said, I am nonetheless glad that I clarified with my friend why I was so upset with his remark. After that, things seemed to normalize though I am still disappointed he made such a remark.

Double Dose of Coffee
Throughout today, he was also trying to find out what happened between me and that friend "who was beginning to hate me" that things had turned out so bad. I told him that I do not wish to talk about it because it is pointless to do so. I have moved on and just do not wish to revisit the whole thing. To be fair to both parties, I also do not wish to revisit the issue because I know I somehow will slip into the "he is at fault, ally me" mode. He respected my decision.

However, he really poor thing... say that even though this had happened, both me and that friend are still his lifelong friends... just that instead of going for 1 cup of coffee, eating 1 bowl of mee, he just have to go for 2 cups and 2 bowls since he has to meet us separately. What to do?

Relationships are about Decisions
Am now watching this local TV programme which helps people to look for their old friends, teachers etc. Today's episode is on a BGR in JC which has somehow gone wrong when the boy proposed to the girl (somehow the girl was not ready for it and was taken aback by it)... from there everything just went downhill and there were more quarrels between them.

Now, 22 years later, the girl would like to draw closure through the programme and apologize to the boy. Same here, everything was fine one moment and wrong the next (when the "ring" was dished out)...

It almost becomes clear to me that relationship is all about decisions - decisions that could either make relationships better or worse and decision whether to salvage a relationship when it goes wrong.

Healthy Lifestyle
Yeah, according to my exercise routine, today is a rest day. Nonetheless, I did a separate dumbbell routine:

• Dumbbell Lunges
• Iron Cross
• One-Arm Dumbbell Row
• Stiff-Legged Dumbbell Deadlift
• Straight-Arm Dumbbell Pullover
• Dumbbell Side Bend
• One-Arm Flat Bench Dumbbell Flye

Also went to East Coast to cycle for some 1.5 hours, had a good tan hehehe, nice to really cycle around in quiet quiet East Coast (something not possible on weekends since it will be terribly crowded and noisy). This suddenly made me realized that my "vacation" and free-and-easy life is coming to an end since I will be starting work next week. Sighhh...

Almost took the lift on my way home despite me deciding to take the stairs everyday.

Say hello to n.g.u.

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Hiya! Finding that my blog getting rather solemn and serious nowadays, need to inject a bit of "life" into it... meet my new blog.pet, n.g.u. who never gives up... dun bully my pet or I come and haunt you...

Ice Cream Egg!

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Looks like my "disciplined" life is taking off...

Managed to continue with day 2 of my exercise routine and ouch! my muscles are really beginning to hurt... at least signs that I am really working out right? :D Hehehe... looks like the exercises I did in the past did not really help, just focused on the numbers of repetition I did for each exercise, not the quality. Now, at least, whenever doing exercise like crunches and push up, I usually stop in between each muscle movement to feel the resistance...

Later in the day, met my friend for steamboat-teppanyaki-ice cream buffet in orchard cineleisure. Hehehe, you should see my sister's face when she knew that I was going for buffet; she asked "what's the point of doing exercise when you basically stuff yourself with food? Actually true hor, but then thinking about it, I only have a few days more to basically pamper myself before I start work next week so just go ahead la. Managed to find a 15% sms discount voucher from the internet but somehow the staff seems blur when I presented it to them... had to make a few phonecalls to verify the "offer" before they gave me the go-ahead to starting staffing myself with food :) Anyway, dunno if it is psychological or not but then now quite conscious about the food I take (guess my sister's puzzled face became etched in my mind everytime I eat something unhealthy). Unlike last time, I found myself eating more from the steamboat pot rather than the teppanyaki pot (which was full of oil; my friend put quite a generous serving of butter into it).

"Butterpot"

I also ate relatively less; at least I wasn't stuffing myself "to the brim" so much so I find problem walking hehehe. Also ate more vegetable. Here's my ice-cream egg which I created at the "fried ice-cream buffet", cool ah :)

"My ice-cream egg"

In line with my "healthy lifestyle", I also suggested going cycling with my friend tomorrow afternoon (haven't cycled for long) and also decided to take the stairs rather than the lift when I go home everyday. OK, hope I can sustain this kind of lifestyle and stay disciplined.

Earlier in the day, I was also reading others' blog on the net. Received a link from my friend to one particular blog. Apprently, it seems that this blog made it to news before but somehow I missed it. Anyway, was reading it and enjoyed it a great deal! Even though there is a generous helping of vulgarities and references to male and female sexual organs (in Hokkien) in the blog, I somehow enjoyed the way the blog is written... funny and candid. Find that Rockson (the blogger) adopts a very interesting and clever angle of looking at social phenomena, interweaving his daily life with his personal interpretation of these phenomena... something worth reading... do take care though if you take a solemn approach to life and gets offended by vulgarities... if so, be prepared to be haunted by the blog... *sinister laughter fading off in background*

I must admit that I was jealous how this blogger could write in such a captivating way but then again, I came to realize that my blog is also "one-of-its-kind" and I shan't be ashamed of it :)

Food for Thought: Ever realize that you are constantly surrounded by slimming advertisements and slimming products, brain-washing you that "being thin is beautiful and wonderful, being fat is horrible and shameful". We know that being fat is usually equated to being lazy and unhealthy but does being thin necessarily mean one is healthy? Just watch TV and count the number of times a slimming advert appears... definitely much more than in the past... No wonder we have more "depressed" people now... unhappy with their bodies...

Getting Down to Work

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Barbers Brush by twang

Clean, Clean Clean!
OK, woke up in the morning and told myself:

You can't escape anymore... you have to tidy the house up before you start work. Now get down to work!

I mean, I can't complain can I? I was partly responsible for the mess at home and should get down to cleaning it since I am free now. Besides, I would like to start on my new job on a good note and come back to a home "spick-and-span". Anyway, picked up my vacuum cleaner and vacuumed every corner of the house and threw away a whole pile of paper and useless mails that seems to just be piling up in every corner of the house. Yes! Accomplishment No. 1!

Heavy by kiscso

Flex, Flex, Flex!
Also got down to exercising in the evening after I am done with a whole day of cleaning. Started on my home exercise routine and spent a whole 45 minutes doing:

• Push-Ups
• Side Laterals
• Can Curls
• Bench Dips
• Home Squats
• Calf Raises
  

Wow, can really feel my muscles being worked out... At least felt less guilty after the workout; have been eating too much (and spening too much) over these last few weeks. Yes! Accomplishment No. 2!

Mobile Phone 2 by kim

Ring, Ring, Ring!
My handphone is sick! Something is wrong with it, it keeps switching itself off... looks like my handphone can't make it already... Anyway, fortunately, my sis has an extra phone (with camera!) and I took over the phone and spent the rest of the day backing up my data.

Loading... Off...

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Felt sick this morning... feel as if my asthma is coming back again (must be all the BBQ smoke I inhaled at Marina Bay steamboat BBQ buffet yesterday). Sick and tired, I prepared and still made my way to service.

Loading... Off...
As the service went on, I can't help but reflect on myself... It has been some 6 weeks since I attended church and indeed, I do feel that my load has been lighten and things are getting better; A few weeks ago, I was so down with so many things crashing down on me and anything that could go wrong, went wrong. Somehow, there is a sense of peace in me as I stood in service. I have already decided to give myself to the guidance of Christ and sincerely worshipped, sincerely giving myself and giving thanks for everything and for Christ's dying for our sins.

And you know what? I also noticed that I am also breathing properly despite me having asthma symptoms in the morning... However, a couple of my friends are navigating through very tough times now and I am still remembering to keep them in prayers; praying strength for them to navigate through this period and for guidance and wisdom to make the right decisions.

Incidentally, today's sermon was on lightening your load. I shall remember the verses (Matthew 11:28-30):

²⁸"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

3 important principles for helping us load... off...

Loading Zone by Slantsixx

AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS (Ashes To Beauty)
Kathryn Scott

At the foot of the cross
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me Your love
Through the judgment You received

And You've won my heart
Yes You've won my heart
Now I can

Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

At the foot of the cross
Where I am made complete
You have given me life
Through the death You bore for me

I'm laying every burden down
I'm laying every burden down

"Can You Buy Me a Drink?"
Met my old friend who I have known for more than 15 years... As we were chit-chatting in the food court and me eating my lunch, I suddenly heard a voice coming from behind me with a little of nervousenss:

"Excuse me, just wondering if you could buy me a drink. Hope you can help me as I am doing a dare and my friend dared me to see if I can get someone to buy me a drink."

I remembered thinking "wah, I like that also got people want to pick me up ah", then "not possible la"... hahaha, thick-skinned hor. As expected, turned out that that teenage girl is asking my friend (he does look quite boyish). To the contrary, I wasn't upset at all but was more surprised that I am witnessing all these happening right before me; that someone actually have the courage to do something like that :D Anyway, my friend gracefully walked her to the drink counter and bought her a drink (thought picking someone up with drinks is usually done in a pub. This must be a "budget" one hahaha). Moments later, as my friend was still pondering about the whole thing, the girl returned to ask for his namecard. My friend gracefully declined (he thought that she might be some insurance agent. Me? I thought she is either (a) picking him up or (b) shooting a gag for "gotcha"), or (c) all of the above. Anyway, she and her male friend left soon after.

Dumbbell!
I have decided to start on an exercise routine starting tomorrow to at least stay healthy. Have found this online exercise 12-week routine for weight loss, just some simple home exercises which require dumbbells, so thought of just trying it out. Bought a pair of 3kg weights. I actually started my workout today since I was walking around cityhall carrying that 6kg :D Guess this extra "load" is important for me to shed some "load".

Food for thought: Have you ever seen children play and wonder how easily contented they are? They can be playing with simple things like paper, pretending it is a handphone or chasing some rotating logo projected onto the floor (at the entrance of citilink). You definitely do not find such innocence in the adult's world; everyone seems to not be contented with things and are ever chasing things to make themselves happy.