Work “Thumbs-Up” & Ministry Hmmmm

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It’s always the same thing… sometimes I don’t understand why my work always seems to be going well but then it is always conversely true for my ministry. Sometimes, I do not understand why work is much easier than ministry.

Connecting with Volunteers

Today, I had a wonderful time connecting with volunteers. First, I was supposed to conduct a debrief for a team of students’ fundraising project for us and frankly speaking, I do not have the confidence to properly conduct a debrief at all. But everything just went on smoothly and within the 2 hours of debrief, we all just kept talking and candidly sharing observations, feedback on what could be better, what went well and also addressed challenges… actually I really enjoy working with this group of students because they really inspire me with their passion and effort put into this project which raised about $10,000 for us. Though it might be considered relatively a smaller amount as compared to the amount raised by our other fundraising efforts, but this is a student’s effort and they have worked really long hours to raise this amount and it is really good effort. They could have spent their holidays having fun rather than doing this for us. So I am really inspired by them and grateful. So I thank God for helping me to really enjoy connecting to this group of volunteers and joking while debrief… everything just went on smoothly and I spoke confidently, guiding the debrief process and was also quite extrovert.

Then, in the afternoon, I got a sms from another one of my volunteers who called to inform me that he and his family are moving to Shanghai… kind of feel comfortable talking to this volunteer (though he is much older than me) because he is always so friendly and humourous and sometimes when he could not get me, he would send me a sms using his 3-year old daughter’s name e.g. “uncle codfishy, daddy say you must be busy because he called you just now but can’t get you” or “uncle codfishy, can I volunteer with my daddy and mummy?” :D funny guy la. Anyway, I am beginning to build relationships with my volunteers more even though most of them are over the phone. Frankly, we can be talking over the phone or email but I have never seen them before. Though last year’s year-end fundraiser project was a nightmare but then I made a lot of “friends” over the phone and many still email to share with me their experience and also sign up for more projects. Also got a “thank you” email from another gentleman today sharing with me his experience helping us with fundraising last year-end and his account was beautifully written. His, and the other volunteer’s sharing has really humbled me and yet made me glad to I am able to become friends with some of them, even though we have never met and only spoke over the phone. Frankly, their willingness to help, including the one who is going to Shanghai (he was recently retrenched but yet continue to help us by volunteering with his family), really warms my heart. I think no other job really make me feel this way before.

I also thank God for receiving an affirmation from my boss for 2 projects I have handled recently but frankly, whenever I look back, I am still amazed how much I had achieved at work. But then, sometimes, I ask myself why I am able to be rather “successful” at work but then ministry seems to be laid with so many challenges. Recently, I am beginning to sense that some of my members are going through some challenges and sometimes the feeling that “you are the cell leader but what are you doing about it?” comes back and I will feel bad about myself… it is a passing thingy la and I will always feel for my members but yet do not know how to help them… I pray but then I wonder if I am praying enough? I want to talk to them but sometimes the messages I send, I do not know how to express care and I also lack the courage to ask them out… And recently, KM is rushing her assignment and she seems to be having difficulty finishing it and it does pains my heart to see her this way but yet I do not knowing how to support her. Sometimes, feel that maybe I should go down to her house but then the practical side of me will say things like “it’s too far away”, “it’s late”, “you need to work tomorrow”, “if you go down will you distract her” keeps coming back. I just hope she will be able to finish it soon.