"Chicky Little" Stole the Show

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God Bless the Party
When I saw dark clouds looming above as I made my way to my cell group's christmas party, my mind went "oh no, pray that it won't rain". Soon, I received a sms from my cell mate saying, "pray, pray" and I guess everyone in the cell was praying for the weather to clear up. I had been working non-stop for the last 2 weeks and really looked forward to chilling out and having some fun today and I was not exactly thrilled to have the weather ruin it all. Alas, with God's blessings, the weather cleared and by the time I arrived at the party with my friends, the rain has gotten smaller and eventually stopped.

Pirates Ahoy!
Today's christmas party theme was on pirates and it was fun seeing people come dressed as pirates; male and female versions and some also dressed as damsels in distress :) Surprisingly, some even went to rent pirates' costume for the event, super onz, and here I was with my $5 pirates toy kit. With what little I could gather, I came dressed in:

• Green double-layer look shirt: $70
  
• White khaki berms: $20
• Black "raffia-like" belt: $10
• Brown shoes: $50
• Pirates' eye patch, gun with rubber darts, dagger and a handheld hook: $5
• Non "clean-shaven" face: free
• Black bandana over head: on loan from friend
  
• Temporary Tattoo: Free
• A black chicken on my shoulder: PRICELESS
  

There really are some things in life money can't buy, but for everything else, there's "little chicky".

"Little Chicky" Stole the Show
Think I must have been crazy to dare to be radical and dressed myself up as a pirate with a pet black chicken (rather than the conventional parrot) on my shoulder. Well, didn't really plan for it anyway and just grabbed hold of the black chicken sitting on top of my TV as I made my way out of home to the party. Never did I thought that it would bring so much attention, so much so I got so "jealous" my "little chicky" is attracting more "photo shoots" that I did :)

The stupid little chicky which drew
so much attention, away from me :)

Wonderful Party
Though nothing spectacular, just a simple party but it was a wonderful evening. First, I actually dared, for the first time, to dress so crazily (putting little chicky on my shoulder). Secondly, I got my first tattoo at the party, nothing permanent, just a harmless temporary tattoo:

My first "tattoo", nice huh?

Next, it was also the first time that I went up to the roof terrace of the church and it was such a wonderful view...

Wonderful view from roof terrace
after an afternoon shower

It was also the first time I tried a christmas logcake and yum yum, rich chocolate... Not only that, I was so blessed that both me and my cell-mate won the "most notorious pirate" title at the Pirates' Idol contest and till now I am still scratching my head how we won. My group also wonthe group charades and we won 2 bottles of red wine which we later shared with the 2 cell groups. Can remember that the last time I was so blessed was during a christmas party when I was in primary school and I won the first prize (a toy soldier set), something till this day I still remember fondly.

I was also so happy that I managed to fit into a rather "trendy" shirt (at least for my "nerdy" standard) that my sister bought for me as birthday present this year. That means that I have slimmed down, hurray!

In addition, I met 2 friends from my JC at the party. How blessed?! Incidentally, a group of us are thinking of planning a gathering for this particular CCA group in JC that we belonged to and these 2 weeks, I kept meeting old friends from this CCA group. Looks like we are on our way for the reunion :)

The rest of the evening, we played games, sang christmas carols and did gift exchange. I am feeling all so christmasy all again :)

Remembering Those in Need
I reached home near midnight and received a call from the school attendant from my JC. He is a nice person and throughout his years of service to the college, he put in his best for the students and the college, so much so many students continue to keep in touch with him even after they graduated. My friends and I, for example, are still in touch with him after 10 years.

I have recently heard about how he has got into some sort of financial trouble, because he had wanted to support the needy but not knowingly, it seemed that he dialled the wrong hotline and soon chalked up some $2000 of donations; something that he could well not afford given his current salary (not even my salary). I had earlier felt strongly about the matter and the "social work" part of me so wanted to do something about it but somehow, this got lost amidst all my work and business that I clean forgotten about it.

I took the chance to ask him, when he called today, about the matter and he told me that his handphone has got cancelled and he has so far only managed to pay back some $500 already. He seems to be struggling and at this point in time that I made the resolution to want to do something about this. I decided that I will write an appeal letter for him and asked him to gather all the bills and letters, which I should hope to be able to review when I visit him, so that I know how to approach the matter. A little late but better late than never right? How can I bear to see someone needy struggling in silence just because he/she cared for others who are needy and wanted to help, only to land himself into financial troubles.

Great Relief

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Phew! Felt such great relief after yesterday's meeting that I slept right through for 10 hours after reaching home from work (haven't been sleeping well the whole week).

Tossing & Turning
For weeks and weeks, I have been dreading yesterday because I was to chair a meeting with all my fellow volunteer coordinators from all our centres to plan for the year ahead and I just didn't know what to say and how to say it (like in the staff devotion that I was supposed to lead last Tuesday)... It also didn't help much when on Wednesday evening, I went through the structure and the contents I have planned for the meeting with my boss and was told that it was too heavy a meeting for 3 hours. I therefore had to re-do the whole thing. It was getting more nerve-wrecking as it approaches the actual day and I was like losing sleep over it. There was one night, despite having slept for 11 hours (from 8pm the previous night straight to 7am the next day), I still felt lethargic the next day...

Thursday: "You Stole My Volunteers?"
It didn't help that I was also super busy this period cordinating volunteers for projects and handling other administrative tasks e.g. working on the budget etc. To make me more stressed, something happened on Thursday morning which demanded my attention, pulling me away from planning for the meeting. A director from another department came to inform me that one group of volunteers has pulled out from their fund-raising project to take part in another project that I was coordinating.

You can imagine how embarrassed I felt but was also a bit annoyed at the incident (since I was already up to my neck, was think "not another one!"). To a certain extent, I was blaming myself for letting that happen but on the other hand I am reminding myself that I could not have prevented it because different people from that group have approached us to enquire about volunteering so I would never know they are from the same group. Nonetheless, I felt this was a real bad incident and am sincerely praying it won't cause a misunderstanding that will sour my working relationship with that department.

I eventually tracked down the group leader and called them to understand the situation. I called the centre affected by the "pull-out" to apologize for the mix-up and started to work something out together. Despite it being a bad incident, I am so glad that everyone, including the group of volunteers, are understanding enough and we cooperated with one another to work something out. So they will continue to do the fund-raising for half a day and help out at another centre for half a day (they had initially pulled-out because they wanted to finish their volunteering project asap, prefably within 1 day, rather than doing fund-raising over a long period of time). Within half a day, we have got things all sorted out, so despite this incident not being a pleasant one... something positive turned out; I am so glad to be working with really understanding people and felt a sense of achievement when we could finally resolve the issue in just half a day.

But that meant half a day was gone from planning for my meeting, which was to be held the next day :( In addition, I had also made changes to the group volunteering form so that in future, all group volunteers will have to indicate if they are applying or are currently helping out in other projects in the same organization. Hopefully, this will prevent future occurences of such this nature.

Friday: Judgment Day and "You Can't Do It Alone!"
Anyway, judgment day eventually came and there I was on Friday, still working on my presentation slides all the way till 1pm (meeting was scheduled to start at 2pm). And here I did it again, failing to plan the logistics way before for the meeting and my director boss had to in the end help me mobilize her whole department (I was in a different 1-person section, though under the same department) to help with the preparations. Was so touched when I saw my fellow colleagues chipping in to help me with preparing the food, bringing down the food, preparing the meeting venue, getting ready the AV equipments. Even my director boss also helped to photocopying my worksheets and helped me collect the projector for the meeting while I rushed out to buy the refreshments. She must be thinking:

"This person ah, never plan for meetings one ah, happened one time before already for the Japanese exchange meeting and now again. Sigh. Had earlier asked him to get help from his colleagues if necessary but never did ask until the last minute".

Well, I must defend myself :) Must admit that I am not much a team player and could have asked my fellow colleagues for help way earlier to prepare them. I guess I had been, in a way, pampered because in the past when I did training, I used to only have to worry about coming in to do the training and all the refreshments, training venue will be handled by the admin staff. Even in my previous workplace, I was blessed with my admin colleague who helped me see to the prep before meetings so I could just concentrate on preparing my materials. I should have recognize that I am a 1-person section now and cannot cope with such things alone. Guess it is another lesson learnt.

Kept thanking my colleagues for coming to my rescue and they kept laughing it off saying that "it is OK" and that they had also helped the last coordinator with such things. Guess they can see how stressed I looked and kept asking me to "calm down" and relax, assuring me the meeting will go well. Anyway, I was also horribly busy this period and was multitasking with so many things on hand (I have a whole briefcase full of documents just 2 months of joining), so it is understandable why I did not plan early also right? :)

So how did the meeting go? I would say it went tremendously well, at least for me. At first, I "gabra-ed" and started off stuttering since I was nervous but I became more confident towards the end. It was also very disappointing at the beginning becasue of the turnout; only 8 out of 20 came for the meeting (Dec happens to be a busy period for all) but I am nonetheless glad that these VCs came along to support; they kept reminding me that they are so supportive and I must repay their kindness :)

The meeting also went well with everyone contributing and sharing. I guess I attained what I had intended the meeting to achieve; VCs

• seeing the value of "investing in volunteers",
  
• seeing the importance of understanding and working on volunteer motivation
• foster a sharing culture, sharing ideas and volunteers
• understanding the need to raise the profile of our volunteers not only to fellow VCs, volunteers and the public but also to management to help justify our work
• see the possibility of tapping volunteers to manage and lead other volunteers instead of relying on themselves to "run the whole show"

I also got to know the VCs better (considering this is my first formal meeting with them). Although we rushed through the last part of the meeting, there was consensus on the theme we should all focus for the next year and we managed to identify a theme statement for next year.

All in all, I was glad to be able to achieve all these and to see the kind of support I have (have another friend who also messaged me Matthew 6:33-34 to remind me of God's support) . Although the planning part was horrible and my boss will most probably have a bad impression of my meeting planning skills, I am still overall overjoyed and of course, relieved, that the whole thing went relatively well. Can also see that my boss is impressed with my presentation slides and heard her commenting to the other VCs during break time that the "next part is interesting". That, to me, is an affirmation.

In the end, I stayed back in office to complete the meeting minutes till 9pm on Friday (latest I have stayed in office so far) and I guess this is yet something to celebrate :)

Thanksgiving for Answered Prayer
I must also thank God for answering my prayer for the meeting to go well. I thank God for allowing my thoughts to flow well, enabling me to share what I have learnt at 2 workshops I had attended with my VCs. I must thank God for blessing me with VCs who helped make the meeting a success, sharing and participating and finally thank God for blessing me with managable workload on Friday; I had initially wanted to put aside all work on Friday to concentrate on the meeting but was afraid that a lot of calls and emails will come in that I will be busy once again doing follow-up work after the meeting, without rest. Thank God that there were just a few (non-urgent) emails and no voicemails for me (something that would not be possible on workdays)!

Friday: Feeling all Christmasy
Starting to feel all christmasy. Everyone in the department came in casual attire today and we were decorating the office for Christmas. I was given a small christmas tree for my table. For sometime in the morning, I was trying to "open up" the mini christmas tree because it looked all "shrivelled up" after taking it out from the packaging. By the end of the morning, I had so much snow (from the mini christmas tree) and glitter (from the christmas tinsles) on me, I looked like a christmas tree myself. My colleague also came over to my room and helped me to decor my room and now, my room has this "blue and silver" christmas theme :) Indeed did add some cheer to the cold cold room. Here's my little christmas tree:

Buy Masak-Masak

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Think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, was in a terrible bad mood but soon buried myself in work and forgot all the unhappiness.

Ahoy!
Anyway, did something quite crazy today and bought myself "masak-masak" (singlish for "toy"). Was in Ang Mo Kio for lunch with my colleagues and was walking around the shops after lunch when I caught sight of a "masak-masak" pirate set... how appropriate! My cell is having christmas party this weekend and we had to dress like pirates so without hesitation, I dished our $5 and bought the set... must have been a long time since I last bought "masak-masak" from provision stores... Now I have my pirates props :)

Schni-schna-schnappi schnappi-schnappi-schnapp
Heard this song on the radio and just could not get it out of my head... every afternoon, I will hear a child-like voice singing these words on radio "Schni-schna-schnappi schnappi-schnappi-schnapp" and I must say it sounded cute...

Turned out it is a German song, titled "Snappy the Little Crocodile", sang by 6-years old Joy Gruttman, which was written by her aunt (a professional children's song writer) and posted on her family's website. A Cologne radio station later discovered the song and started playing it on air and many people called in to request the song and it had even topped the German pop charts!

The song seems to say:

I am Snappy, the little crocodile
I come from Egypt, located at the Nile
I was trapped in my egg at first,
But snip-snap-snap and then it burst.

Snip Snap Snappy
Snappy Snappy Snap
Snip Snap Snappy
Snappy Snappy Snap

I am Snappy, the little crocodile
I have sharp teeth, show lots with every smile
I snap up everything I smell,
I snap because I can so well

Snip Snap Snappy
Snappy Snappy Snap
Snip Snap Snappy
Snappy Snappy Snap

I am Snappy, the little crocodile
I like to snap because it makes me smile
For my Mom, I’ll set a little trap
And then she’ll see how well that I can snap

Snip Snap Snappy
Snappy Snappy Snap
Snip Snap Snappy
Snappy Snappy Snap

I am Snappy, the little crocodile
I could go on snapping for a while
I’ll just bite my Papa on the toe
And then off to sleep I go

Snip Snap Snappy
Snappy Snappy Snap
Snip Snap Snappy
Snappy Snappy Snap.

Source: http://www.crocodile-schnappi.co.uk

Topsy Turvy World

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Sometimes, I just can't help but feel that the world is coming to an end... there are things which are happening around us that is getting more chaotic and absurd...

Just today, I just saw a news item about 2 secondary school students being attacked by parang knives, with one having his palm hacked off and another had his head injured by the parang. This, in Singapore! But sometimes, we really can't blame when the media has a part to play for it but still refuses to act responsibly, quoting "we are just producing what our customers want to see". I have enough of lamenting about the standards of local TV and won't go into great depths about it.

Take today's last episode of "Tong Xin Yuan" for example, it is the most lame show I have ever watched; not that I am a great fan of the series but I was half awake half asleep from a bad day and the show managed to shock me awake. Not only did it seemed to be rushing through the plot so that they can end with this episode, with unbelievable things happening; too coincidental, too fast, too stupid! Then the whole show was about killing, killing, killing... ironically at the end, the last statement spoke by the actor is "hope everyone in the world will have a "common heart" and live peacefully together". Huh!

Hiding in Toilet

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Was really anticipating a real busy day today since I had been away from office, on course last week, followed by 2 days at my volunteers' book fair. But somehow, I was looking forward to going to work since my course gave me somehow an exciting vision of things to come... was looking forward to implementing some of the new ideas at work.

Brain Exploding
Actually brain nearly exploded today with all the follow-up work needed after the book fair e.g. sending thank you emails, preparing CIP certification letters, uploading photos, preparing feedback forms, returning lanyard and tags to the PR department. And since today is International Volunteer Day and International Volunteer Manager Appreciation Day, I had also wanted to do a mass mail to all my volunteers and fellow volunteer coordinators. In additional, I had a budget to finish (by today), had a few projects which I had to recruit volunteers for, an upcoming meeting to plan for and several other small tasks to complete. Nearly fell off my chair when I opened my email and saw close to 30-40 new mails and heard that I have some 20 new voicemails. In fact today is the first day I lunch-in because there is just too much work to do that I can't afford to go out for lunch.

Signs of Tsunami
I think the signs for an approaching "Tsunami" came later in the day when I called back someone who left a voicemail in my phone. Apparently, she had called my office on Saturday to ask about the book fair which was held at another site and somehow she got mad that we did not call her back until today. Guess that dampened my mood a little but I still felt that it was a good lesson for me (never to put my office phone in event publicity materials if the event is held in another location).

Staying Afloat
Surprisingly despite a lot of things went wrong recently, I tend to take them quite positively, seeing them as valuable lessons e.g. the meeting with the Jap rep which gone wrong taught me a lesson to check the room and equipment and prepare the meeting materials the day before, the volunteer briefing which did not go well taught me to prepare a structure for orientation in future. Even when things went wrong during the Saturday and Sunday book fair also has made me more determined to not make the same mistakes again and diligently took down notes for improvement.

TSUNAMI!
However, the big wave came when my colleague commented that there were too many volunteers around on Sunday, so much so most were doing nothing and we had only raised $5 after deducting the amount we spent on food for volunteers from the funds raised for the day. That, to me, was the ultimate wave which swept me off my feet. In my mind, I was thinking "what a failure! I should have ensured that the event is not overstaffed, to the extent not only did we not raise enough funds, we bored some volunteers and wasted a whole day of effort". I felt extremely lousy because I felt that my failure to see this point has literally wasted a whole day's of effort. Although this was an important lesson that I learnt and we did raise a few hundred dollars over the 2 days, I just couldn't take this failure. I had initially felt a sense of achievement having recruited so many volunteers and seeing them having quite a bit of fun but felt that I have not put my organization's funds to good use; raising only $5 after a whole day of work.

Hid myself in the toilet
I was so speakless after the phonecall that I became so "immobilized" that I put off drafting an email to thank my volunteers and staff. I had initially wanted to send an email out to thank all my volunteers and staff for a "successful" event but it turned out not to be as successful after all. In fact, I soon found myself isolating myself in the toilet for about 2 minutes because I felt so upset with myself but I did not cry... just felt overwhelmingly disappointing with myself (with stupid thoughts of resigning again). Soon after, I just found myself not being able to work anymore and just packed up and left for home... I had also struggled with bringing 2 files back to work on my proposal for my budget but decided to leave it in office and have the evening for myself, away from work.

A Beautiful Sight to Behold
On my way out of office, I met the building manager who was putting up some christmas decor and I caught sight of something beautiful. Not sure if this is a sign but saw 3 doves "hovering" above me... well OK, they are plastic doves which is held in place in mid-air using nylon strings so much so it seems they are flying above... with the nice blue sky as the backdrop, it looked so wonderful. It is almost like reminding me that if you take the time to look carefully you will find something beautiful.

Can you spot the doves?

Stop, To Care

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Stop, To Care
I have been so busy lately I think I have been neglecting what has been happening around me. Was bathing this morning and was thinking about Nguyen who was hanged 2 days ago for trafficking 400 grams of heroin into Singapore in 2002. I was just reading about him on the internet; he was just 25 years old and was trying to pay off debts owed by his twin brother, who has borrowed to help defend himself against drugs and violent offences charges three years previously.

I was struggling with how I should feel about this whole matter. On one hand, I agree that laws have to be enforced and precedences should not be set. But on the other hand, I felt deeply for Nguyen who was literally "hanged" for helping his brother. Although an exception was made to allow limited physical contact between Nguyen to hold hands with his mother and brother before he was hung, I was saddened to hear that his mother's request to hug him before he was hung was rejected. Imagine a mother's anguish when she has to see her son die but yet could not hug him before he "goes". Maybe there is a reason for it since Channelnewsasia mentioned that "such encounters can be traumatic and are likely to destabilise the prisoners and their family members". Now that he is gone, I felt sad... delayed response.

Somehow, I did not feel so much for him before he was hang. In fact, I remember receiving a request from our fellow professionals from Australia to appeal to the president of Singapore for clemency in my previous workplace. I remember not feeling much then and thought: "law is law and no precedence should be set".

Sometimes, we are so engrossed with our routine that we do not "STOP, to care" but "STOP TO CARE".

Back in Service
I have missed 2 cell groups and 1 service so far and was starting to feel distanced from God, so I made a decision to wake up early to attend the 1st service today so I can go help out at my volunteers' book fair in the afternoon. Brought my sister along with me also to service.

As always, the sermon just always seems to be so relevant to the struggle I was facing. Today's sermon was on "Identity Theft"; how our identity has sometimes been stolen (and distorted) by the mirror, making us believe that we are always not good, focusing on our looks. Sounds cliche but then thinking back, our inferiority complex sometimes have such a great impact on our lives; just like how I always feel "not good enough" and not liked by others have hindered the way I interacted with others...

I think the message was that:

• God created people in his own image
• Adam and Eve was created and despite being naked, they both felt no shame (Genesis 2:25)
• Then came along the serpent which incited Eve to eat the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. She also brought some for Adam to eat
• Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves

We are "enough" in the eyes of God but always not "enough" for ourslves... Like what the sermon shared about being accepted, secure and significant in Christ, something good to always remind ourselves:

"The more you reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior will begin to reflect your true identity!" (From Victory Over the Darkness, by Dr. Neil Anderson) From: http://www.ficm.org/whoami.htm

Artist: Hillsong United
Song Title: Jesus the same

There's a light in the darkness that shines
Giving hope to all the world
Hope to all the world
And there's a door that's been opened to all
Into a new and living way
A new and living way

Praise the name of Jesus
Perfect Redeemer, Star of the Morning
Yesterday, today and forever
Jesus the Same...

There's a fire that burns in our hearts
To see the lost return
To the Father
And it's a passion that's not of our own
We have seen it in the Son
In the face of the Son

Wonderful Councillor
Mighty God, Eternal Father
Prince of Peace

Not Another Estranged Relationship!
In a previous post, I mentioned that I left a comment on a friend's blog about estranged relationships and this friend soon commented back on my blog.

When I saw the comment, I had the feeling that this friend might be upset by my comment and could have felt that I am not understanding. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I apologized to this friend and explained how I valued the friendship and had shared the story to share lesson; I am also struggling with an estranged relationship. I did not want things to sour because of a comment I have made. Anyway, glad I cleared the air, turned out that I was being too sensitive. Phew! We later still came out and did some christmas shopping :)

Christmas Joy is Back
My last 2 Christmases has not been good and I am sincerely hoping that this year's one will be enjoyable because I just love Christmas; it's my favourite time of the year. Was starting to feel a little Christmas cheer because of all the Christmas pipe-in music around the malls, all the fun going shopping around for gifts and had also received an advanced Christmas gift from my friend and his partner. :)

In fact, I was such a joyous evening and I treated myself to a BIG BIG american burger hahaha, especially so after a whole day of hard work at the book fair... yummy!

CA Burger @ Changing Appetites

Had also bought myself a Christmas gift, the Andy Lau's "Wait till you are older" VCD.

2nd Day @ Volunteers' Book Fair
Things didn't go very well today. Early in the morning, it seems that the volunteers have to wait around for half an hour before the gate was open and "business" was also bad today, so much so most volunteers were sticking around doing nothing much.

But anyway, I did feel good at the end when some volunteers actually asked about continuing on as regular volunteers as I went round taking group photos for the volunteers. Some of the them felt a sense of achievement and seemed to have fun volunteering; that to me is an achievement. Later on in the day, I also witness how a volunteer helped an elderly man carry 2 full bags of books to an nearby bus-stop and how a poly lecturer brought his family down to also help pack up for the day; he himself moving boxes of books.