Hiding in Toilet

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Was really anticipating a real busy day today since I had been away from office, on course last week, followed by 2 days at my volunteers' book fair. But somehow, I was looking forward to going to work since my course gave me somehow an exciting vision of things to come... was looking forward to implementing some of the new ideas at work.

Brain Exploding
Actually brain nearly exploded today with all the follow-up work needed after the book fair e.g. sending thank you emails, preparing CIP certification letters, uploading photos, preparing feedback forms, returning lanyard and tags to the PR department. And since today is International Volunteer Day and International Volunteer Manager Appreciation Day, I had also wanted to do a mass mail to all my volunteers and fellow volunteer coordinators. In additional, I had a budget to finish (by today), had a few projects which I had to recruit volunteers for, an upcoming meeting to plan for and several other small tasks to complete. Nearly fell off my chair when I opened my email and saw close to 30-40 new mails and heard that I have some 20 new voicemails. In fact today is the first day I lunch-in because there is just too much work to do that I can't afford to go out for lunch.

Signs of Tsunami
I think the signs for an approaching "Tsunami" came later in the day when I called back someone who left a voicemail in my phone. Apparently, she had called my office on Saturday to ask about the book fair which was held at another site and somehow she got mad that we did not call her back until today. Guess that dampened my mood a little but I still felt that it was a good lesson for me (never to put my office phone in event publicity materials if the event is held in another location).

Staying Afloat
Surprisingly despite a lot of things went wrong recently, I tend to take them quite positively, seeing them as valuable lessons e.g. the meeting with the Jap rep which gone wrong taught me a lesson to check the room and equipment and prepare the meeting materials the day before, the volunteer briefing which did not go well taught me to prepare a structure for orientation in future. Even when things went wrong during the Saturday and Sunday book fair also has made me more determined to not make the same mistakes again and diligently took down notes for improvement.

TSUNAMI!
However, the big wave came when my colleague commented that there were too many volunteers around on Sunday, so much so most were doing nothing and we had only raised $5 after deducting the amount we spent on food for volunteers from the funds raised for the day. That, to me, was the ultimate wave which swept me off my feet. In my mind, I was thinking "what a failure! I should have ensured that the event is not overstaffed, to the extent not only did we not raise enough funds, we bored some volunteers and wasted a whole day of effort". I felt extremely lousy because I felt that my failure to see this point has literally wasted a whole day's of effort. Although this was an important lesson that I learnt and we did raise a few hundred dollars over the 2 days, I just couldn't take this failure. I had initially felt a sense of achievement having recruited so many volunteers and seeing them having quite a bit of fun but felt that I have not put my organization's funds to good use; raising only $5 after a whole day of work.

Hid myself in the toilet
I was so speakless after the phonecall that I became so "immobilized" that I put off drafting an email to thank my volunteers and staff. I had initially wanted to send an email out to thank all my volunteers and staff for a "successful" event but it turned out not to be as successful after all. In fact, I soon found myself isolating myself in the toilet for about 2 minutes because I felt so upset with myself but I did not cry... just felt overwhelmingly disappointing with myself (with stupid thoughts of resigning again). Soon after, I just found myself not being able to work anymore and just packed up and left for home... I had also struggled with bringing 2 files back to work on my proposal for my budget but decided to leave it in office and have the evening for myself, away from work.

A Beautiful Sight to Behold
On my way out of office, I met the building manager who was putting up some christmas decor and I caught sight of something beautiful. Not sure if this is a sign but saw 3 doves "hovering" above me... well OK, they are plastic doves which is held in place in mid-air using nylon strings so much so it seems they are flying above... with the nice blue sky as the backdrop, it looked so wonderful. It is almost like reminding me that if you take the time to look carefully you will find something beautiful.

Can you spot the doves?