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Buried Alive! by MeHere

You Are Needed (to Clear What You Have Not Finished)
Received a SMS from the new director of my ex-workplace, saying that he wished to speak with me. I called back office. He really have his way with words and managed to make me feel real good about myself (at least for a while)... said that I have left a legacy behind and that a lot of people have been asking where I was blah blah blah... then saying that I am like an ambassador for the project; someone who everyone associates with the previous project I did. This made me feel real good about myself... at least until he accidentally mentioned that he would like me to join them in the committee "to finish up the work I have not finished". Sigh...

Anyway, in the brief phonecall, I made the decision that I will not join the committee but will try to give backend support instead i.e. they can call on me for insights etc but I will not want to sit in their committee. Why? In a way, I am trying to keep a "promise" made. At the point of making the decision to resign from my previous job (and before all the conflicts with my friend who "was beginning to hate me"), I mentioned to this friend that I will most probably leave the social work field; he too has the expectations that with this decision, I will not continue links with this ex-supervisor. Thus, I will try my best to minimize possibility of contact with my ex-supervisor. Anyway, I also want to avoid contact with my ex-acting-head who had made life so difficult for me and I do not want to be in a position where I have to be ingenuine and act friendly in front of her. Hence, the decision to be backend support instead.

"I hope you understand where I am coming from; that I had strained working relationships with some in the committee, so I do not wish to sit in meetings. I hope you understand." I told the director.

Almost Mati
I almost died at work today... went to work with a sprained ankle and was starting to feel a bit feverish yet again, so wasn't really in the mood to work but had to contend with work that has piled up yesterday when I was at course...

I had just sent out notice of an upcoming event organized by my volunteers and have helped to heavily publicize it. Never did I think that this would bring a swarm of people emailing me saying that they want to volunteer. At the same time, I need to look into the budget for the next year, coordinate the upcoming event, plan for a quarterly meeting with staff from the various centres which I have to chair, coordinate an exchange programme with Japan, continue to recruit, screen and deploy volunteers for projects, entertain public enquiries through phone and email... quite a whole load of work for someone just 6 weeks old at work... sigh...

Anyway, I don't know why I so shy... always so quiet when among my colleagues. My irrational self at work again... my boss called to ask my colleague forward something to me.

In his email, he mentioned: "it is my pleasure forwarding this to you...".
I replied: "wah so formal ah, using the word "pleasure" hehehe"
and he responded: "it is a pleasure being delegated by boss, hehehe"...

don't really know what he meant but nevertheless I thought negatively... that he might be offended. Sigh...

Heck Care, Self Care
I was supposed to go for a meeting with someone from my church's community service in the evening. He had wanted to meet up with social workers in the church to explore what else can be done by the community service arm of the church.

I struggled with the decision whether to go for the meeting and in the end decided to go home because I was really feeling feverish after a horrible day at work, coupled with my sprained ankle... thought that if I tire myself out (most prob the meeting will only finish about 9.30pm), I won't be able to recover quickly; this week is a real busy week with a class reunion and a volunteers' briefing and a lot of work waiting for me...