Jane Gone Home

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Just received news that Jane has gone home to the Lord this morning... In a way, we are rather relieved that she does not have to suffer anymore.

The Week in Review

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Monday (Lessons on Presentation Skills)
Today was horrible... I made an appointment to drop by an orientation session conducted by one of our centres. I had wanted to observe how this manager did her orientation because, to date, I have not the chance to really try conducting my own orientation for volunteers (and I intend to do one in the near future). Frankly, I do not know what to make out of the session... on one hand, I am thankful that I learnt so much from the session but on the other hand, I am quite upset that the session didn't turn out well:

1. Duration - First was the duration of the workshop. The workshop is being held after school for lower secondary students. So knowing students, they would most probably be exhausted and restless. So, to make them sit through 2 hours of talking would be a real torture. It didn't help that the students on one side of the hall wasn't paying attention and that upset the speaker even more and as a result, she repeated herself many times, much to the frustration of the students.
   
   
2. Language - Then the language used wasn't the most ideal as well. Firstly, it was addressing some lower secondary students, so I would expect to use less adult terms. Also, several times, I heard the speaker saying "We expect you to... do this", "we expect you to... do that" which made it sound rather demanding. This is definitely not the kind of "aftertaste" I want to leave with volunteers.
   
   
3. Tone of Voice - To compete with the noise, the speaker ended up shouting through the PA system and this apparently didn't go well with the students sitting near the speakers. At one point in time, I heard a few students complained to the teacher that they can't stand the shouting.
   
   
4. Presentation Slides - Considering that it was conducted in a hall in the midst of the hot afternoon right after school, the slides also fail to engage the audience... it was too wordy and also lacked pictures. Guess that also made the presentation hard to stomach
   
   
5. Too Much Details - On one occasion, I was just talking to the teacher behind the hall and she was apologizing for the rowdy behaviour of the children, explaining that they are a bit restless. So, I discreetly went ahead to give a hint to the speaker but then she told me that she needed to cover the details to help the students understand what they are going to do. Frankly, I stand by that - preparing volunteers for what is expected of them - but then there comes a point when there is too much details. It is already 1.5 hours into the presentation and the speaker was still going into the detailed programme for the activity to be conducted by the classes within the next few weeks. I can observe many were restless already but then the speaker believes that she would need to cover the programme even though I suggested for the information to be handed to the teachers for discussion with the students.
   
   
6. Format & Audience Size - The format was also not suitable for a large group. What I like about the workshop was the fact that there was experential learning. But then the group is too big for experiential learning; out of 100+, only 30 got chosen to take part. And there was a point in time, the speaker focused her attention on the 30 who volunteered for the activity and neglected the remaining audience... thereby adding to their restlessness.
   
   
7. Quiz & Prizes - What I like about the workshop is also the fact that there was a quiz at the end of the presentation. But what was lacking was really a sense of competition and even prizes. Maybe, the speaker could have prepared prizes for those who got the quiz questions right...

Frankly, there were several occasions I almost left the premise because I was getting rather upset and the disappointment was getting rather unbearable. I had took down these observations but then struggled with how I should put it forth to this manager? I mean, she is definitely more experienced that I am but then how do I try to share my observations with her so both of us can grow from the experience? I tried but then somehow feel she is not open to feedback. I left it at that...

Just as I am working on the presentation for my mission trip, maybe God is also preparing me for it and reminding me on some of the mistakes to avoid.

Tuesday (Guarding our Tongues)
Today, I saw how God works again. I was to lead devotion today and by the previous night, I still wasn't sure whether I had wanted to cover the "Our Daily Bread" topic for devotion, simply because it was on a topic that most of us are aware of and somehow I feel, it doesn't leave much space for discussion. The topic was on guarding our tongues and it is indisputable that we should all guard our tongues. So I was really reluctant to cover the topic for devotion. Instead, I prepared a short devotion based on the sermon in my church two weeks ago on faith.

But somehow, on Tuesday morning itself, I didn't feel the peace to use what I have prepared and something just kept telling me that I should stick to the topic. Well, I did and I really didn't regret it... I was surprised that a colleague in my department actually found the topic discussion timely, because she was just discussing something similar with her daughter the night before. Yes, there was occasional silence during the devotion but then hey, I left the devotion more ministered myself than I probably would have ministered to others. In fact, I was quite surprised I typed the following email to my colleagues right after the devotion session... it is not me to be so "holy holy"; having all the inspirations of which verses to quote (correctly) etc...

WHY WE SHOULD GUARD OUR TONGUES?

Our tongue is a reflection of our Christ-likeness

Luke 6:45 (NIV):
The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

Remember:

• The tongue is likened to a spark which can set a great forest on fire
• The tongue is likened to a small rudder on a ship, which steers the ship
• The tongue is like small bits of horses, which can turn animals

Although this topic of guarding the tongue is not new, it is a good reminder that we need to exercise caution in guarding our tongue and let only good and wise things come forth from our tongues... in fact, if our hearts are pure, we shouldn't even need to exercise cautious for we have a Christ-like heart to begin with.

Our tongue as a weapon againt the image of God

James 3:9 (NIV):
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness

When we "shoot" off, we are not only cursing men, but cursing men who is made in the likeness of God. We are in fact, cursing God..

When faced with an angry heart, let us be slow to anger:

James 1:19 (NIV):
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

Instead:

Proverbs 16:24 (NIV)
Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
How we use our tongue is a choice

God gave us tongues and it can be used for good or it can be used for evil... We can choose to use it to to taste good food, praise God or even share the love and grace of God with others or choose to destroy others...

It is a good reminder and it is not easy but if we commit to try and even commit our tongues to God, let God do good works and ministry using your tongue... speak edifying words to build others and not to destroy others. And remember it applies to not only verbal but also, in our present day context, our emails. We all know it and there are so many sayings and proverbs: Chinese, Persian, Arab, Hebrew etc which reminds us on that, but will we try to do it?

Wednesday (Preparing for Mission)
I really thank God for guiding me in our preparation for the upcoming mission trip. The trip is less than 2 weeks away and I am somehow not even ready, both for the presentation I am going to do there and for the trip itself. There is still a lot to do but I am just lazy and not really doing them. But, I really want to thank God for the wonderful planning sessions with my co-presenter, as we worked together on our presentation on volunteerism and volunteer management. Things just made sense and came together.

Thursday & Friday (Toys & Food Galore)
These two days are mixed days for me... This period, the whole building is organising a fundraiser to raise funds for work done with needy and HIV-infected children in Africa. It will feature different kind of fundraisers including departments taking up slots to provide lunch each day or even garage sale. It's such a lovely and wonderful idea because all of us get to have fun preparing and selling food or feasting, all for a good cause.

Our public relations department had a toy sale, selling toys which have been donated but which are deemed unsuitable for the children at the centres. Those that are suitable are sent to the homes. So rather than throwing the unsuitable ones away, the department decided to put up an in-house sale, with the proceeds going to the African project.

I really didn't expect to buy anything (since they are toys). Little did I know that I would soon end up walking away with a small puppy soft-toy, 2 small "Happy Feet" figurines and a magic trick set (I have always wanted to play some magic tricks since I was young but somehow forgotten about it as I grew older). Somehow, the "boy" in me appealed to me and I ended up getting these 3 toys... "So what's your damage?" beckoned a fellow colleague, as she asked me how much I spent on the toys. Not much, just $10. Then later, I received a pooh bear soft-toy from another colleague. I am really thankful for such wonderful colleagues... now my office seems like a toy museum, having received a piggy bank, one coke polar bear softtoy, one small teddy bear, one beannie pig, several little stitch figurines, one plush stitch speaker and now to add on to the collection, one pooh bear and one puppy plush. Left office a happy boy :)

Today, I went over to the "clearance" sale just to have a look, only to buy another large size teddy bear. Now the teddy bear is my mascot and sits in my office... He is Jerrie (short for Jeremiah, the book where my favourite verse came from) the bear.

My loot :)

We had a lot of fun with our "new-found" friends. At one point, we took photos of these two soft toys sitting at my "guardian angel's desk and joked with our recruitment colleague that we have found two replacements for my guardian angel. Hehehehe, you should have looked at his face... all puzzled how this is possible even before he advertised for it.


Then Jerrie went about with his cute antics... peeping at my boss and trying to snack :)




Now I have a new mascot in my room, an almost life-size teddy who is quite well-received by fellow colleagues in the building :)

Work-wise, I am getting a bit worried. Have been observing that I am getting a bit restless at work recently. I am no longer as busy and can even afford the time to regularly check my personal email to see if there is anything I need to attend to for my cell group or mission trip. I have more time now to attend to projects without the need to be distracted by many things at the same time. In fact, I am feeling guilty that I am relatively more free and seems to not be contributing much. I hate to be caught doing nothing but have several times been seen by my boss, talking to colleagues. I think it is becoming a chore having still quite a bit of (not-so-important) things on my platter but yet feeling restless to work on it and having to not look too free.

Maybe is my sensitive side but then I tend to also feel that I might have stepped on a few of my colleagues' shoes at the centres. I have come down hard on the centres recently because I was just getting tired that centres are not responding as quick, as it would be good, to volunteer referrals. At a certain point in time, I have to deal with close to 100 pending referrals, some of which has not been followed-up with for close to a year. So, I decided that, no more mister-nice-guy, and compiled statistics on how the centres fared on their volunteer referral-placement response time... I have also started to question coordinators on their growing list of pending volunteers, carbon copying to their bosses. Today, I saw a manager from one of my centres and as he was walking towards our department, I heard him greeting people warmly. But as he walked past my office, he did not even look at me and mumbled hello... maybe I am just being sensitive but then it is a fact that I do not seem to be as passionate about my job as in the past.

What makes things a little more difficult is the fact that I have just came out from my boss' room and have just been handed my pay alignment letter. As I opened up the letter, I was confronted with mixed feelings. On one hand, I am grateful for the alignment but on the other hand, it makes deciding about my career difficult.

I have thought about what I need to do about my job but then should I leave? Should I apply for internal transfer? How do I face my boss, since I promised her I won't leave and now that I have been given a pay alignment? Does leaving really make me seem like a job-hopper since all the jobs I have held so far seldom last me more than 1.5 years? What should I do? Where should I go? Maybe I am, as my friend suggested, a starter but not one who will sustain the race. I realised that I am very good with starting things and setting up systems but soon get very bored... Is this true? Can I let go of my wonderful colleagues?

In a way, I am looking forward to the mission trip. Though this is my first mission trip and I am not sure if I am even going to adapt to the living conditions, I do look forward to spending some time away from work and opening more time with God, reflecting and finding my directions.

Evening by the Park

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I am trying very hard to keep to my jogging routine at Bishan Park every Mondays and Thursdays. I have managed to be disciplined and have managed to keep running nonstop for 2.8km... now that's a feat for me... recently, a friend asked if I would join in a 5km marathon run. Seriously, it is tempting to go for it because it gives me some target to work towards, rather than running without a target now... Anyway, I love the sight and sounds of Bishan park in the evenings... as I jog, I can't help but admire the beauty of nature and all that God has created...

Bishan Park, as best as my handphone cam can do justice to it

Thunder Came and the Ground Gave Way

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I seldom dream but then today, I remember dreaming a horrible dream, much like the one I had in January last year. I remember standing on one side of the road at, I think it was, Clementi. Then, I saw lightning strike the ground opposite me and the ground gave way, swallowing the people around it. There was screaming and it was really really a horrible sight...




I can't recall what else happened but then the next scene was me at home, also running frantically because the ground was giving way too and my whole block of flats were caving in... it was really a scary scary dream... Picture "Dry" by spaulson

Big Baggages

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Got my backpack today from a friend for my missions trip... wow is it amazingly big but then I guess since I am going to be on the road, I can't afford to drag a luggage along. So would really need to borrow a backpack... I can't imagine that it is barely 3 weeks away and I have not gotten ready for it... intend to buy 2 pairs of jeans to bring there, then there is the presentation which I have not prepared and also my visa application. Sighhh...

Was meeting a friend yesterday and "the friend who was beginning to hate me" came along as well... I really don't know if I have fully forgiven him as yet because I still observe myself to be quite hostile with him... I do not know whether I am hostile to him because I have not forgiven or because I felt hurt when he saw me yesterday and said to my other friend "if I known codfishy is going to be here, I will not come". I mean, there can be 2 interpretations - one: he does not want to see me or two: if he knows that I am coming, he would not come and spoil me and my friend's "couple time" (they always joke about that one la).

But, later when my friend left, this friend who was beginning to hate me, offered me a ride home and what began as a ride home became a long drive around... we talked a bit but then I just can't help but notice that I still seem quite hostile to him... Along the way, he did share how he felt a horrible and manipulative a supervisor his ex-supervisor was (the same one who also was part of the friendship crisis I had with this friend). I really do not know who to trust.

What I Have Learnt about Cell Leading So Far

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I thank God for opening my eyes to learning about cell leadership and even though it has been a tough time, God has provided when He calls...

I have learned and am convinced:

• Serving God - Cell leadership is much about serving God than anything else, helping to grow people spiritually and help them in their walk with God, to mobilize God's people for His will
  
  
• The Great Commandment and The Great Commission - A cell leader works towards multiplication rather than building a closed group where people become too comfortable with each other and stop growing. The Great Commandment (Matthew 22:37-4) and the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20) has been given. This involves having a heart of desire to not only bring salvation but also to spur members to bring salvations to others.
  
  2 Peter 3:9
  9. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
  
  
• Facilitator - A cell leader is not a bible scholar or a bible teacher, that is the job of the pastor. The cell leaders facilitates understanding of biblical principles and lessons documented for us in the bible and help their members to come to realisation of how they can live it out in their lives
  
  
• True Worship - Cell leaders lead its members to cultivate a heart of thanksgiving, to discover how God is in their lives and to truly worship God in everything that they do
  
  John 4:23
  3. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.
  
  
• Working Along, Not Alone - A cell leader does not have to work alone but works along with the Holy Spirit; not working alone or letting the Holy Spirit work alone but working along... Fear comes when one relies on one's own might but not when we hold on to the promise of God and trusting that God will provide. He/she also works by delegation of work to fellow members, which helps them to develop accountability and also grows with the ownership.
  
  1 Corinthians 3: 6-9
  

  6. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. 7. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. 9. For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building.
  

• Shepherd - A cell leader is a shepherd for God and takes care of his/her members.
  
  
• Developer - A cell leader develops people by engaging them in discovering and using their gifting.
  
  1 Corinthians 12:4-11, 27-30
  
  4. There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men. 7. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9. to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10. to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,[a] and to still another the interpretation of tongues.[b] 11All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.
  
  27. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 28. And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues. 29. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30. Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues[d]? Do all interpret? 31But eagerly desire[e] the greater gifts. And now I will show you the most excellent way.
  
  
• In the Potters' Hand - God calls all kinds of people, cell leaders are not perfect and not strong to begin with; they usually have the potential of growth from feedback from members and also through the moulding by God
  
  2 Corinthians 12:9
  9. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
  
  Consider this, will we still rely on God when we are high and mighty? Chances are we will forsake God because we are self-sufficient.
  
  Jeremiah 1:4-7; 19
  5. "Before I formed you in the womb I knew [a] you,
  before you were born I set you apart;
  I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
  
  6. "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."
  
  7. But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.
  
  19. They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.
  
  
  
  
• Administrator - Here's something that some leaders do not like and it is administration... which includes taking attendance, linking the church to members and vice versa, passing messages and announcements down and upwards, coordinating for events etc.
  
  
• Prayer - Encouraging members to acknowledge the power of God in their lives and how they can commit their struggles and troubles to God...
  
  Matthew 11:28:
  28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
  

This is done through the 4Ws: Welcome, Worship, Word and Works
Facilitation is done through OIA (observation, interpretation and application questions) or DUA (discovery, understanding and application questions).

Ideas:

• Encourage accountability - account for attendance at the beginning of every cell meeting
• Growing Together - Start a blog for members to share testimonies, thanksgiving and new revelations
• Focus on application & works - Cell should not be a time of worthless discussion without putting into action what has been learnt or discovered
• Help members discover their walk with God - Use activities e.g. a spiritual walk timeline to identify defining moments, blessings, trials etc or an activity to help members contemplate their priorities in their lives
• Pre-Cell Prayer / Fellowship - Gather people together to pray for cell; this also ensures people come on time
• Encourage thanksgiving - One can only see God in their lives when their eyes are open to how God has worked in their lives...
  
• Prayer - A cell that prays together, go through life's struggles together is better than going through it alone...
• Accountability Partner - have members paired up to build bonds and help each other be accountable in their walk
• Cell Planning Committee - Have a committee and invite potential leaders to come on board to help plan cell activities; helps to increase ownership and helps develops leaders
• Cultivate a welcoming culture to make everyone feel comfortable
• Praise & Worship - Start with praise songs and then worship songs; helps to set the tone for word discussion.
• Anchor - Anchor the week and the discussion with an anchor verse. Help people to easily understand the discussion using imageries.
  

Magnificent & Beautiful Saviour

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Magnificent
By Hillsong

Who compares to You?
Who set the stars in their place?
You who calmed the raging seas
That came crashing over me

Who compares to You?
You who bring the morning light
The hope of all the earth
Is rest assured in Your great love

You are magnificent, eternally
Wonderful, glorious
Jesus
No one ever will compare to You
Jesus

Where the evening fades
You call forth songs of joy
As the morning wakes
We Your children give You praise

Beautiful Saviour
By Henry Seeley

Jesus, Beautiful Saviour,
God of all Majesty,
The risen king,

Lamb of God,
Holy and righteous,
Blessed redeemer,
Bright morning star

All the heavens shout your praise,
All creation bow to worship you

How wonderful, how beautiful,
Name above every name, exalted high
How wonderful, how beautiful,
Jesus your name, name above every name, Jesus
Bridge:
I will sing forever, Jesus I love you, Jesus I love you