Big Baggages

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Got my backpack today from a friend for my missions trip... wow is it amazingly big but then I guess since I am going to be on the road, I can't afford to drag a luggage along. So would really need to borrow a backpack... I can't imagine that it is barely 3 weeks away and I have not gotten ready for it... intend to buy 2 pairs of jeans to bring there, then there is the presentation which I have not prepared and also my visa application. Sighhh...

Was meeting a friend yesterday and "the friend who was beginning to hate me" came along as well... I really don't know if I have fully forgiven him as yet because I still observe myself to be quite hostile with him... I do not know whether I am hostile to him because I have not forgiven or because I felt hurt when he saw me yesterday and said to my other friend "if I known codfishy is going to be here, I will not come". I mean, there can be 2 interpretations - one: he does not want to see me or two: if he knows that I am coming, he would not come and spoil me and my friend's "couple time" (they always joke about that one la).

But, later when my friend left, this friend who was beginning to hate me, offered me a ride home and what began as a ride home became a long drive around... we talked a bit but then I just can't help but notice that I still seem quite hostile to him... Along the way, he did share how he felt a horrible and manipulative a supervisor his ex-supervisor was (the same one who also was part of the friendship crisis I had with this friend). I really do not know who to trust.