A Whole Salad-Bowl of Emotions

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Affirmations
I also really thank God for sending people to give me affirmations over the last few days. I thank God for people's affirmation to me, about my work and my cheerful disposition, yesterday. The sweetest affirmation of all would be from this colleague who just told me how her relationship with her daughter has gotten better. I thank God that, despite not being a parent, He had used me to speak to this sister-in-christ, sharing about how she could relate to her daughter better from a youth's perspective... Yes, I do feel good but the thought that things are getting better for this colleague and her daughter really make me feel so so glad :)

I also thank God for an affirmation I received from my cell group leader yesterday. It has not been an easy start and when I first took over the sending of cell announcement email, it was either too long-winded or just not right... But today, I received affirmation from my cell group leader that I was doing well in cell announcement email. Well, might not be a big deal but I am really glad I am at least making some small progress :)

Pay Alignment
I understand from boss today that this period is pay alignment period, which means to say that there is a possibility of my pay being "aligned". This itself is good news but somehow I received the news with mixed feelings.

I, for one, am not a person who mind much about pay... job satisfaction is more important to me, at this point in time, than anything else but if indeed there is pay alignment, then that would be an added bonus for me, and I thank God for it. Frankly, I am living rather comfortably with the pay I am getting and other than the occasional purchases of gadgets I get for myself and the occasional pampering, I hardly spend... of course, more money would be good, so I can save up for rainy days e.g. for my parents' medical bill since both my parents are not exactly doing well physically. So, I should welcome this piece of good news shouldn't I?

But, instead, I have mixed feeling. Guess, I feel kind of bad not having performed as well as I had wanted to in the last few months. I am still late for work everyday and yes, although I had been working like a mad man last year, I have kind of gotten a bit lazy this year... work has also slowed down, so I am wondering if indeed I deserve a pay alignment should it come. Receiving a pay alignment would mean that I would be holding myself more accountable, to make sure that I work harder to justify the alignment.

You In Second Trimester?
Hahaha, some people has mentioned that I look fatter and I think it is true... somehow over the new year period, I seemed to have ballooned and not only do I feel fatter (I no longer use the last hole on my belt but the second last hole), I also weigh 4kg heavier... Today, I was talking to my boss and, as a passing remark, mentioned about how others were saying I am a bit fatter. She confirmed that and commented that I seem to really have put on a bit of weight over the last couple of weeks... Amazing how much I can put on in just a few weeks. Some even joked I looked like I am in my second trimester of pregnancy hehehe... But seriously, I am OK... kinda used to being commented about my size but I will try not to give up on my exercise regime... sighhh, seems like none of my New Year resolution is making good progress :(

Kay Poh Me
Actually, I still cannot believe I did it... I landed myself in trouble and only have myself to blame... Well, a friend called to inform me that he is going to coordinate a donation of about 2000kg of rice to be made to my organisation so as to bless our beneficiaries.

I should have, at this point, refer the matter to my PR department for follow-up, since they handle all donations-in-kind. However, the kay poh me went to coordinate a bit, so when I was ready to hand over back to my PR department, it was kind of embarrassing my PR director reminded me I could have handed the case to his department in the first place so I can avoid all the hassle. Well, I really cannot blame anyone but myself... so kay poh :)

No big deal la but somehow I felt horrible and kind of angry with myself for failing to see that I was stepping over my scope of work... I guess my original intention of helping my friend to coordinate kind of made me lose sight of the fact that I was working beyond my scope of work... Glad that my PR director didn't make a big deal out of it but somehow I still feel rather stupid having done that, sighhh...