They Don't Like Me

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Just over the weekend, I just had my cell group outing to Batam. Overall, it was a good trip because it was good having an opportunity for cell group members to come together to fellowship together and it was also the first trip for me to Batam...

Emotionally Draining Weekend
But, by Saturday evening when I came back, I felt so drained that the lethargy carried on till today... I had thought that as a Cell Leader-in-Training (CLT), I should take this opportunity to bond with my members. But even before the trip, I did foresee this is going to be a tough trip because somehow, I always feel so drained when in a group.

True enough, there were occasional awkward silences when I tried to talk to some people and I kept had the thought in my mind that "they don't like me" throughout the trip... Frankly, I didn't really enjoy myself... I know I had harsh on myself and this maybe a unhealthy perception but then somehow it just comes back again and again to plague me.

Throw In the Towel?
A close friend do know a bit of how much I am going through now and had suggested that I give up CLT since it is so tough. Frankly, I did think of giving up but then again, I keep reminding myself, growth does not come easily... the fact that I am struggling means I am coming out of my comfort zone. Anyway, CLT or no CLT, I have to face this issue of mine sooner or later... so why not now? The sermon yesterday was on the overview of the Old Testament and somehow, it was comforting to note that several people during the that historical time also faced struggles in their walk with God... And it is also a good reminder that we should not take God for granted because as much as he is graceful to us, He can also cannot tolerate sin. Maybe I have taken God for granted...

Anyway, I am still trying to see how much more I can grow and overcome my current struggles. I will also continue to remind myself that I must not take God for granted and remember that I have a powerful God; that I need not walk alone.

Thank God For Rest
Anyway, I really thank God for giving me rest this morning. I had quite a draining week and Sunday didn't seem to be enough rest for me. And so I had difficulty waking up. Today, there was to be a presentation to some organisation about volunteering and so I would be needed to report to work in the morning for the presentation. However, the person-in-charge called me on Friday to request for the presentation to be postponed. And so, thank God, that this came in quite timely because I can then take the morning off to recuperate. It was a good rest and I felt way better by noon time (though I can still do with more sleep :D).

10 Missed Calls
Remember I was blogging about this sister-in-christ who I lost my cool with and who my church is helping because of some issues? Well the last we were told to stop all communications with her, so as to help her. But apparently, she has been trying to call me and sms me and my sister, among many other cell group members. By the time service was over yesterday, me and my sister received more than 20 missed calls in just a short span of time. In fact, she has called my home quite a number of times so much so now we do not dare to take calls at home. Frankly, I care for her as a sister-in-christ and many a times, it is tough not to reply her or take her calls. But all I can do now is really pray for her healing as she works with the church who is providing her support.

Dado the Clam
Yesterday, I met up with my friends for a simple dinner. One of my friends brought along a new pet that she and her hubby has found on the beaches of east coast on Saturday; Dado the clam. According to my friend, this clam is a stubborn clam and refuses to open its mouth, hence Dado (Acronym for Die Also Don't Open) :)

Anyway, me and the other friend had a bit of fun teasing her, commenting how nice it would taste in Char Kway Teow or how we should cook it etc... After dinner, we even accompanied this couple to East Coast to collect some sand and sea water for their pet clam. But alas, I received news that Dado passed on last night... Farewell Dado...