I'm Sorry But I am Going to Lose My Cool!

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A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I was working with a fellow sister-in-christ and asked for God to grant me patience. Well, I'm sorry but I lost my cool today; I totally cannot tolerate it anymore and for the first time, I was very very harsh with her.

I just get so annoyed at how she continues to sabotage herself and every time whenever I share insights with her about this, she gets all reactive and I basically get some very harsh messages from her. Despite being told to avoid contact with a sister-in-christ which she was developing some unhealthy attachment to, she keeps snooping about and keeps messaging different people in cell to ask questions after questions about this sister-in-christ. I have even learned about how she had once showed up at the sister-in-christ's office, hid herself downstairs the sister-in-christ's house "just to see her"and also recently called her at her house only to keep quiet. I also find her very manipulative and have on several occasions used emotional blackmail with quite a number of cell group members to try to gain pity.

In fact, I have recently became a bit assertive with her and told her that I will not respond to any irrelevant sms questions that she asked me and which I feel will not help her resolve her issues. She seems to then targetted other cell group members as well to get information. She has this habit to keep messaging different people asking questions after questions about the sister-in-christ, so much so you feel interrogated and nothing but an information kiosk for her.

I know she cannot help it but I just can't stand when she just keeps sabotaging herself. She has the tendency to always misread intentions and always focuses on the negatives. Just like this morning. She messaged me to say that the church has labelled her as having psychosis and told her to avoid cell totally and to get a part-time job instead of a full-time job.

I do know that church is working with her and has got her a counsellor to work with her on her issues. She has been told to avoid the cell where the sister-in-christ who she developed an unhealthy attachment to is in, but is able to visit other cells. She has also been jobless for ages and seems to be very picky about jobs. However, when I asked her if church did indeed say she has psychosis or did she read it as such, she became all reactive and said something to the effect "if you do not know anything, keep quiet" and maintains that I am "judgmental and misread her". I know she cannot help it but then somehow I also cannot help it and told her that if she find me judgemental and if she is unhappy, she can stop messaging me! I had enough with her and when she later messaged to say she is not obsessed with anything, my last response to her is "whatever!". Minutes later, I found out that she messaged another of my cell group mate to say that she is no longer going back to church (yet again).

I am seriously very very angry with her and cannot tahan her anymore. I still care for her as a sister-in-christ and pray that she will one day overcome her issues. I do not care if I become her enemy but will still keep her in prayers, praying that God will work a work of miracle on her.

I am sorry but I need to ventilate...