Of Wetting Pants, ROM, Couplehood and Seeing God @ Work

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Wow, the week passed so quickly and before I know it, it is Saturday. Quite an eventful week this week, with the opening of the Beijing Olympics, National Day, my cell members' ROM and also heard news about my secondary school's principal's passing on. But still, I am thankful to God for how the week has gone on quite well for me and I have "survived".

Wetting My Pants
Yesterday, had the opportunity to attend my cell members' ROM. It's the first time for me going to ROM. I met KM at Plaza Singapura for a short lunch before making our way to ROM. As usual, would be the usual klutz and just as we were talking, I accidentally knocked over the cup and "splashed!". The funny thing is that I recall saying to myself "oh no, not again!" but never quite thought of moving myself away. So in the end, I "wet" my pants and it was kind of "unglamorous" walking around with wet pants and also having KM saw this embarrassing side of me... sighh what a klutz :D

First Time to ROM
Was kind of excited as I made my way to ROM with KM, but then by the time we both reached ROM, walking uphill from Park Mall, I was perspiring like crazy and looked a little "unglam", so had to doll up a little :) Interestingly, the whole process of getting married at ROM is so fast that within 5 minutes, we are out of the registry office and my cell members are married :D Wow that's fast! After that, helped to take some photos for my friend and they treated us to ala carte dim sum buffet. So by the time we were done by 5pm, I was "bloated" beyond words.

Thank God for Guiding Cell Preparation
Thank God, my friends were going back to their chalet in Pasir Ris because by that time, I have yet to prepare cell and I only had 2 hours of so to prep. So thank God we got a lift back to Pasir Ris were both myself and KM sat down to prepare for cell. As we sat down, we prayed for God's guidance for the planning. It was a fruitful session and I thank God for placing in my heart the message He wants me to bring to cell yesterday evening. So before long, I finished preparing for the discussion and also chose a couple of worship songs.

A Glimpse of Life Together
After preparing for cell, we had little time left and both me and KM went shopping at NTUC to prepare refreshments for cell... I find it funny to say this but then I actually found it an enjoyable experience going shopping, helping to prepare the food, doing the dishes and even cleaning up; things that I would shun away from at home. But, yesterday, I actually enjoyed the experience, almost as if it was a glimpse of our life together in future and how we would be shopping and doing the dishes together...

Right Decision to Continue with Cell?
Anyway, cell was marvelously wonderful yesterday as I saw God work once again... Initially, when I reached KM's house and started to prepare for cell, I started to ask myself if I had made a good decision to continue with cell. Just minutes before, I have heard from KM how her sister's cell was having fellowship and eating seafood together and it is after all even of National Day and Olympics opening... I was, on one hand, starting to worry about how many will turn up today while, on the other hand, wondering if it has been a wrong decision to continue with cell... It kind of got a bit worst when everyone started watching the opening of the Olympics on TV which started at 8pm and I started to wonder how I am going to start cell. But thank God that we agreed to start cell at 8.30pm after watching a little of the opening and when the time came, I was able to switch off the TV without much objection from the others...

Thank God for the decision to carry on with cell because I got to see how God worked, including:

• How He had been speaking to me about heart vs head throughout the week as He sent a brother into my path and how I was ministering to him in this area
• How God helped me to see His message from Eph 1 about knowing Him and being able to share this with the cell. He has thought me about how we need to know Him more than just a saviour and redeemer and how we have to know who He is, as a triune God and as one who gives hope, blessings and power.
• How cell last week and this week nicely fit together as discussions have helped people to reflect how we can move God from being a saviour and redeemer to Lord.
  
• How a song I had chosen was missed out during worship but then I later came to realise how it happened for a reason and how the song, Deeper in Love, was later sang as the closing song, providing a wonderful close to the whole discussion session about heart vs head knowledge of God
• How God has used me to minister to at least 1 cell leader during the discussion about her struggle with ministry, helping me to recall all the struggles I went through and coming to realise how God has guided me through, continuing to give me revelations through scriptures (e.g. Isa 41:9-10), pulpit, circumstances and even directly speaking to me one time.
  
• How God guided the leading of cell yesterday and I did not struggle with words and it just came naturally. In fact, I was amazed at some of the things that I said and how everything clicked together.
• How I have come to realise how God is a faithful God and helping me to realise how cell is taking off after the struggles I have gone through and almost wanting to give up... I have come to realise how God has sustained this cell and brought people to this cell for a reason, not only for a season of ministry but also be blessed by them. I can see how God has blessed the cell with a couple of people who were genuine and were willing to share their lives, opening others up to share. God also eventually brought 2 young adults who are slightly more extroverted to bless the cell with a jovial atmosphere. I was so touched when yesterday I saw how one sister stepped out in the middle to suddenly want to pray for another sister and how there was much ease and fellowship after cell, where everyone is talking to everyone. For once, there is no awkwardness and people were opening up and talking to one another... never would I have thought one day that cell would be in such a state.

Thanksgiving & Grouses
I also thank God for:

• Helping yet once again to help manage my schedule; I was scheduled to present my testimony in church this week for my men's retreat (something which I am nervous about but yet feld led to share) but this has been scheduled to 2 weeks later... quite timely considering that if it were to continue this week, I would have been exhausted considering I had been busy on Friday for my cell members' ROM, then cell, then celebrating my 2 month's anniversary with KM on Saturday and then have KM's friend's birthday celebration to attend to on Sunday afternoon. So altogether, it is an eventful afternoon and thank God the testimony has been moved.
• Guiding and watching over my relationship with KM through these 2 months. It has been 2 months being together but an eventful 2 months, initially almost draining us out but thank God He has brought us through. Both of us are still hopeful things will work out and continue to commit our relationship to the Lord.

Just 2 grouses:

• There is a lost and found DSLR camera with 17-85mm lenses being sold for $400 at a charity sale. I have always wanted a DLSR but then could not afford to buy it but now, I have my hands on it but still contemplating whether to buy it because it is really a steal (although considering it is second-hand and the body is quite battered) but then could not bring myself to spend the $400, quite a sum. So on one hand, I am tempted to buy but on the other hand, I know $400 is a lot of money and I frankly do not need a DSLR. Sigh
• I have recently been pissed off by a council member from my association. I have been maintained and putting in much initiative to develop the association's webpage and web community but everytime I talk to this council member, she just makes demands after demands and would say how some features of the web is no good and how she would want to revert to static web pages rather than an interactive web page... kind of make me real upset. Throughout this week, had many run-ins with her and at this point in time, I told her that I am not going to maintain the webpage anymore and they can find someone to do so. I am annoyed especially when my effort is not recognised and when my scope of responsibility is being "violated", denying me of my autonomy.
  

Thanksgiving

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Dear Father Lord,

I thank you for seeing me through the last few days... I thank you:

1. ... for comforting me on last Thursday when I was feeling down. I had been feeling all drained and just wanted to run away from everything. I cried out to you and asked why you allowed so many things and ask you to take some of the struggles away, being all tired... I was feeling all alone when you comforted me with devotion on Thursday from Matthew 10:29-31:
   
   29. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
   reminding me that your eye is on the sparrow and you watches over me
   
   and also from 1 Peter 5:7:
   
   7. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
   
   Later, the person who shared, also played the song "His Eyes is on the Sparrow"as a way of concluding her message from Matthew 10:29-31, reminding us that God watches over even the sparrows, let alone us, who are worth more than many sparrows... He cares...
   
   
   
   It was rather surprising that that message was shared, considering that it was a session to welcome some new officers and saying farewell and thank you to a few who served so far. So I had least expected this message. But nonetheless, I thank God for a message which assured me.
   
   
2. ... for sending me friends and colleagues to support me during the difficult period.
   
   
3. ... for giving me rest on Thursday. I was feeling all down and was thinking of applying leave to just be away (despite having very few days of leave left after all the physiotherapy etc). I was on the verge of breaking down in the morning when I went to office to only find my PC not able to start (the first time in my almost 3 years of service). I was thinking "great! of all times, my PC have to go all wrong on me when everything else seems to be going wrong!" And so, I had to cancel my leave. But then, I have later come to realise how you were giving me rest from all that was happening as I stood and chatted with my colleague while he tried to salvage my computer and we caught up a little. That day, I did not get to do work at all because the computer was only repaired nearer the end of the day. But by that time, I had been ministered to by devotion, encouraged by Stitch-Giver, had time to rest and also had an interesting case of a prospective volunteer who only spoke mandarin called to enquire about volunteer and after having struggled to explain to her what volunteer opportunities are available in my limited mandarin, she called back minutes later to affirm me and thank me for taking time to explain so thoroughly, it just made my day. Eventually, I also found how an issue I was facing at work worked itself out. I was initially caught in between a group of students wanting to do interview about our work and 3 parties not being keen to help, but that worked out. Thank God!
   
   
4. ... for watching over the talk with KM about our relationship on Thursday night, after what happened on Wednesday. It was difficult but then things worked out in the end as we shared about our disappointments. In fact, things are back on track again.
   
   
5. ... for watching over my relationship with loved ones these few weeks and helping to restore relationships after all that has happened.
   
   
6. ... for helping to raise a cell member to lead cell on Friday and how he so willingly agreed to do so and how it turned out to be a wonderful session of sharing... I have come to realise how you week after week have guided me again and again in cell. And when I look back, you always seem to know when I won't be in good state to lead cell and when I need help; a few times you have given me rest from cell when I was feeling down and a few times you have raised people to help.
   
   
7. ... for the people you have sent to this cell. As I sat down in cell last week and look at every member, I have come to realise how it is so true that you have blessed different members to this cell with a purpose. This cell is a "happening cell" (as one of my members put it, "happening on the inside"). We are not your regular extroverted cell but then yet, you have placed people to help lift people up, provide the joy it needs, share geneuinely and to be healed by you. I thank you for being so real.
   
   
8. ... for a wonderful time at Festival of Praise last week and how your message have ministered to me to show me how I can never be responsible for others' growth but how I can grow and be an impact for others...
   
   
9. ... for giving me the courage and confidence to talk to my cell members and just enjoy their conpany.
   
   
10. ... for working things out when I was struggling with the decision whether to take up position in my association given my current mental exhaustion and yet wanting to support my association. We had AGM yesterday and there were talk about relieving me from my current position for a second-in-command position, which would mean more stress. I thank God for helping me to speak my mind with my president and for his understanding and how in the end I did not get nominated for that position.