By the Shores

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Wow, has been a real long time since I last visited East Coast. And of course, not to forget that I am feeling a little flabby round the waist :) since I have stopped cycling and exercising for some time now. Decided that since I am going to be at East Coast anyway for some volunteer projects, might as well take the time to spend some time by the shores with my sis and friends...

Must say that one thing I don't really like about East Coast is the crowd. But then again, living in such a small island as Singapore, where else can Singaporeans go on a weekend? But, doing some justice to the park, there still are nice places to just sit down to take in and enjoy the sea breeze, the waves and have some quiet time...



East Coast Park...

To the Press!

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I have finally decided! After struggling for some time, I have decided that I will send an email to Zaobao, in response to their article on the arrest of Jung, to just alert them that JMS is also operating in Singapore too... I finally decided that I will not remain quiet and risk having more people possibly being manipulated. What if it is real? I am coming from the angle that they might be operating in Singapore and not making a claim that they do... I seriously leave it to the reporter to see if he/she would like to follow this lead to investigate further. I do not know what I may land myself into and whether I have opened a can of worms, but then I just do not want more to be entrenched in this cult! I do not care!

As I did a bit of research on the net, I managed to find a few JMS sites and also come to know that they are also know as "Christian Gospel Mission", "Providence", JMS, MS etc... Also did a search on the Registrar of Societies website and there is a Global Association of Culture and Peace (Singapore), which is also what the organisations allegedly linked to JMS worldwide is also called. I also managed to find a blog of a possible teenage Singaporean follower... All these just make my heart wrench.

Members Innoculated Against "Idiots"
JMS also have a website which defends their leader and their group. No wonder my friend is not surprised when I "confronted" him. It's because the group seem to have prepared the members that there are groups like Exodus who are putting false allegations against their leader... On the website that is supposed to defend Joshua Jung and JMS, they even explained why Joshua Jung is wanted by the Korean police and interpol! They seem prepared. Actually, I won't be surprised that sermons continue even though he is arrested for interrogation because the sermons may have been pre-recorded just in case things like that happen. So the more I email about their leader being arrested, the more they will feel we are falsely accusing their leader because they still see their leaders on video sermons. No wonder no response from my friend after I sent him the articles about his leader being arrested. For interest, he even have a video made calling others who doubt him, who accuse him and ex-members who committed suicide "idiots":


Good Food, Good Fellowship
OK, on a happier note... Had a wonderful fellowship with my colleagues today. We had wanted to celebrate one of my colleague's birthday and also give thanks for my guardian angel's baby being cleared to be ok, without down syndrome! Thank God. That means that my guardian angel also came along. Throughout the whole evening, we laughed and laughed and laughed... realised how much I miss my guardian angel because when she was around, life was more cheery and we can always hear laughter. Her simple, cheery personality and cute antics and speech never fail to make us feel comfortable and just laugh along... how I miss her. My guardian angel also bought me a little stitch "well done" stamp which lights up whenever I press on the stamp. So cute! Another stitch to add on to my stitch collection :) Good fellowship and good food, what can be better :) Had dinner at Chef Chan's (which is closing down end of this month) and then adjourned to Seah Street Deli for mud pies, cheese cakes and other desserts. Wonderful evening :) I even had the chance to play with the jukebox in the Deli :)

Chef Chan's
(Source: http://jommakan.blogspot.com/2005_12_01_archive.html)

Seah Street Deli. See the jukebox :)
(Source: http://singapore-raffles.raffles.com/z912/restaurant_12.html)

Look into my Eyes :)
The earlier in the day, I also had a bit of fun trying to coordinate for our "Ah Gong's" (my department calls him that) birthday next week... our department has decided to get a caricature of my big big boss done and have it printed onto the mug and so I was helping to coordinate a bit. Then, suddenly, the artist asked what colour his pupils are. Hmm, now, how do I know? Asked around and it seems no one know. So, to keep the secret from him, I had to go up to his office, asked him a question and as he spoke, I kept looking at his eyes (wonder if he felt I was behaving weird today) :) Can't imagine that I agreed to do that, ha ha ha...

Work Blessings
These few days, work life has been rather stressful with many things waiting to be done, often many vying for my attention at the same time... so before I can finish one, another comes... thank God I survived through it all so far. Also thank God for sending me another potential volunteer to my office. I have been looking for a volunteer to help with a project dealing with branding but I have yet to be able to find a volunteer for it. So happened that this person made an appointment with me to talk about working together because he, as part of his ministry, has started a simple website that serves as a bulletin board to showcase volunteer opportunities and link Christian volunteers to these projects. He has started this project and another project with his three friends distributing sermon cards, out of his own money. As I was talking to him, I realised he runs his own brand management and marketing research company. Bingo! Asked him if he is keen to volunteer and he is... Thank God!

Getting the Hang of Leadership

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Week two of cell leadership and things are getting a little more bearable...

When I first started, I dreaded Fridays because I have to be placed outside my comfort zone to initiate and facilitate discussions; something which is difficult for an introvert like me... In fact, I would be all stressed up on Mondays and this will last till Friday. I am the most relaxed after cell till Sunday when Monday comes again and I will need to think and prepare cell for the next week.

But, I have come to kind of enjoy preparing for cell because there is a kind of satisfaction being able to read the bible and to get to know God's character and will better. There is also satisfaction when I am able to make sense of things and put them nicely together for cell discussion. I started to realize that this is the very kind of satisfaction that I sought when doing training, which I am starting to miss. Of course, the anxiety linked with having to facilitate discussions is still there. Somehow, I am still worried about how others will perceive me and whether I am doing the right thing.

But nowadays, I am less stressed and commit it to the Lord. After all, the important thing is not that I be heard but that God be heard through me... so I pray before preparation and before cell... I have seen how God has been faithful and has guided me in cell preparation, so much so I am amazed at the kind of things I come up with for discussion, by the end of the week. It happened again today and even though I only started to work on the cell discussion outline at about 6pm and spent a good whole hour talking to the security guard... time seem to always stand still when I work on cell discussion stuff. So, it is a common thing that I will be amazed everytime I look at my watch after I finish and marvel at how early it still is.

Inspirations and Insights for Cell Leading
Just this morning, I also suddenly have some inspiration and insights on leading cell groups, some of the new ideas I will only implement in time to come:

• Importance of increasing ownership of cell by delegating roles out e.g. for refreshment coordination, birthday gift coordination, worship, outing and gathering, scribe, word facilitation, cell list, icebreakers, welcoming guests
  
• Importance of growing members by shortening their learning curves e.g. getting members to rotate to do word facilitation, trusting them to be able to carry out their duties properly and shortening their learning curves by not interfering , which only steals their learning experience
• Rotate the role of scribe and word facilitation so members will take turns to summarize the discussion each week, share how it spoke to them and lead in word discussion. This also helps in spiritual growth
  
• Prayer - after recent blessings and answered prayer, have realized the power of prayer and the need to also pray for preparation, cell and its members
• Focusing on Experiential Learning and Life Application during discussions to help ensure take-aways
  
• Keeping a look-out for members who may need help - This is really difficult for me because I am just not the person who initiates contact

Word of God Speak
Just a few blog entries ago, I was blogging about my new favourite worship songs. Was listening to "Word of God Speak" today again and realized how beautiful a song it is for leaders, some parts of the song spoke to me...

• "I'm finding myself at a loss for words, And the funny thing is it's okay" - Trust God in putting the right words into our mouth at the right time, to be used to minister to others...
• "The last thing I need is to be heard, But to hear what You would say" - Leaders should seek to not be heard but to help other hear God
• "Word of God speak, Would You pour down like rain, Washing my eyes to see Your majesty" - Leaders should pray to be able to see and share about God to its members

Spoke at lengths with the security guard today and it was great talking to him... realized that he used to teach at my secondary school for many years... had so much fun talking to him about the secondary school and about the teachers.

My Anger is Burning, Here's the Ultimatum!

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It's was as if God has given an ultimatum...

Last week, as I shared about my mission trip during my staff devotion, it became clearer to me how real God is, so much so I began to feel tears well up as I shared and sang the worship songs... I came to realization that God is ever-present and how we should not go around looking for isolated dramatic experiences of Him because He can be experienced everyday. Then, this week, I felt distant from him because I had taken his grace for granted.

Last week, I was all happy with all the good news and blessings I received and I gave thanks for all of them. But this week, I felt more burdened and empty, literally empty inside me, as if God has departed from my life. In the past few days, I have felt so much burdened... burdened when I see my friends and cell members drifting away from church and cell, burdened when I heard about my friend going through a divorce, burdened when my volunteer called to say he has suicide intent again, burdened when I read the news about Jung being arrested; again feeling burdened about my friend in the cult and burdened whether I should inform the press that JMS is also operating in Singapore... on one hand, do not want to invite more problems but on the other hand, I just can't let go knowing that more might get involved with the cult if I do not do anything.

This morning, my boss also came to me and told me that she read in the meeting minutes from my former organisation (she is an exco member there) that I was considering a job there. Thank God, I prepared her a couple of weeks back and shared with her how I am puzzled about the rumour that I am considering to go back to work there. We laughed about it and I thought the matter was over. Then later in the afternoon, she brought the minutes to show me what was written in the minutes about me agreeing to go back to consider the job offer. I really didn't know what to say and wonder why have they minuted it?! The fact that my boss showed me the minutes may mean that she is not really OK with the matter. "Cham" la! Die la!

Last week, I prepared for cell and was talking about the law of God and how He has given us His law because of His love for us and here I continue to take His grace for granted...

On Sunday, when Joshua was being preached at service and it was mentioned how God had pronounced judgment on the Canaanites who sinned by sending Joshua and the Israelites to wipe them all off... and then the chapter ending with Joshua asking for us to choose ourselves who we will serve and reaffirms that he and his household will serve the Lord... It is as if it was an ultimatum from God asking who I will serve, him or the devil? It seems that God is saying "Now that you have taken cell leadership, I expect more from you and will not tolerate you taking my grace for granted!"

The cost and empty feeling was too great to bear and from deep within me, I cried out and prostrate at the face of the Lord in repentance and asking for forgiveness...

I think I now understand why some people say, you won't know what you are losing till you lose it... just in this case, I was at risk of losing having God in my life when his anger "burnt against me" for taking his grace for granted...

God so Near, God so Far

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This week has been awesome and I am so grateful to how God works, just this week.

Thanksgiving
I give thanks for all my answered prayers and all the blessings given... this week has been a wonderful week with many good news...

• First, I give thanks for God's blessings to my friends... two managed to find good new jobs, one got promoted and got a pay rise and yet another also got a pay rise too.
  
• Secondly, I also thank God for blessing my friend's and her baby. Over the past few weeks, we have been praying for an ex-colleague and her baby when the doctor suspected the baby might have down syndrome after a test. That really worried the mother and all of us in office... The mum got even more worried when she recently met 2 families with down syndrome children in just a day, worrying what God is telling her. We were all so happy when we heard she is pregnant but all of a sudden, we hear the baby might be down syndrome.. so we prayed hard and prayed hard. Eventually, when we heard that the baby is OK on Saturday, we can only shout, PRAISE THE LORD! What a relief!
• Thirdly, I want to thank God for blessing the devotion and cell group last week. Though both did not turn out to be a roaring success, it still went on well. For the devotion, it was really a long sharing as I rushed through 17 days of experience in 45 minutes...
  
  I give thanks for so many things including a wonderful friend God sent to help me with playing the piano (despite only giving him like two days to practice and also learn a new song) and also even providing a projector cable. I had been working on the presentation for so many days but forgot to check whether the projector is OK. So came Thursday morning and I suddenly realised that the projector is available for loan but there is one problem, there is no projector cable! With just a few minutes to go before the presentation, a fellow colleague suggested I check with IT department. Thank God when I went to the IT department and asked if they have the cable to attach the projector to the laptop, it was just sitting beside my colleague, who conveniently stretched over and passed me the cable. Thank God for his simple providences...Also thank God for all the wonderful colleague who came to support me for the sharing. In fact, by the end of the session, I felt it was just OK until someone came to me the next day to affirm me and shared how the sharing ministered to her. Thank God!
  
  I also thank God for cell group which went OK on Friday. Friday is the first time I was leading officially in the capacity of a cell leader and I was so nervous. What then made me more nervous was the fact that just as we were about to start, my ex-cell leader suddenly received a phone call and the Deputy Pastor was on the way to visit! Of all times, my deputy pastor was coming when I am leading the first time... But in the end, I thank God for his presence also because I felt he has helped me to also put a lot of things into perspective during the discussion. I think, it was also timely he came because I was about to announce to the cell about our zone overseer moving on and had worried I would say the wrong thing. So thank God he was there to also help make sure I said the right thing (though he startled me when I looked at him after I announced and he uttered a "really?", only to later laughed. Hmmm, he was just "pulling my leg"). I thank God for the wonderful attendance and also for how God has provided me , throughout the week, with the materials to prepare for the discussion.
  
  I also thank God for the right articles seemingly to appear at the right time for me to use to support me sharing and cell discussions.
• I also thank God for His providence at work. One of my centres was urgently looking for a Malay tutor and the surprising thing was that, they managed to find one in the end as they were talking to a volunteer who I referred but was found unsuitable for placement. However, they found out that his wife can help with Malay tuition... talking about God sending the right people at the right time.
• I thank God for my project over the weekend that went well. We were in city promoting an event which was supporting my organisation together with 2 other organisations. In the end, I realised our organisation provided the most volunteers: 40, while one other provided 6 and yet another provided none. Although there were awkward moments when I sat with my volunteers and had nothing to say to them (am always so introverted), the project was a success and I can see how the volunteers tried their best to help us promote the event.
  

Jung Arrested. Yeah!
Over the weekend, I received an email from an anti-Jesus Morning Star cult mailing list on , the one which I was trying to get my friend out from. Such great news! Apparently, he was arrested in China on rape charges and is now being interrogated. Thank God! I tried to ascertain if this is indeed true and I did a search on the net for news reports on it. Confirmed and saw articles in Sina.Com and even our own Zaobao confirming it. Compiled the articles and sent to my friend. I do not dare to think what will happen to our friendship but then in the email, I said..." Call me meddlesome or kay poh but I am still concerned about you..." I guess I am willing to forego this friendship as long as he is OK and comes out from the cult. In fact, I am also contemplating whether to write to Zaobao to tell them that JMS is also operating in Singapore... on one hand, I do not know what I will land myself into if I contact them and whether I should just "mind my own business" but on the other hand, I just can't bear to think that more can be ruined at this Jung guy's hands if nothing is being done about it... it has even infiltrated the university campus already...

• http://asia.news.yahoo.com/070511/kyodo/d8p2aas00.html
• http://www.zaobao.com/special/newspapers/2007/05/hongkong070513c.html
• http://news.sina.com.tw/global/ftv/tw/2007-05-13/121612498504.shtml
• http://www.kwongwah.com.my/kwyp_news/news_show.asp?n=84933&rlt=1&
  cls=103&txt=2007/5/13/gj2007513_84933

Chill Out on Saturday
Took some time out yesterday for myself. In the afternoon, I settled myself down at BK Midpoint and did some photo editing for the mission trip photos with my laptop... boy, am I surprised to find a BK in town so quiet... nice place to chill out. Then, later in evening, I went to meet a friend and his wife... we had a simple chillout and chit-chatted at Coffee Club at Hotel Rendezvous (this after we stormed out from Xin Wang in Marina Square after being pissed off by their service attitude). As I walked around in town alone... I can't help but notice that I seem to be one of the only lonely souls around... most seems to be with their families or with their girlfriends/boyfriends... How come ah? Me thinking about relationship liaoz ah?

Much @ Stake
Felt horrible today... It seems that sermons tend to speak to me at certain points in time and today is one of those times... It seems ironic that I was leading a discussion about God's law and Ten Commandments on Friday but I am still as much a sinful person who does not abide by God's commandments...

1. "I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before Me..."
2. "Do not make a image or any likeness of what is in the heavens above..."
3. "Do not swear falsely by the name of the LORD..."
4. "Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy"
5. "Honor your father and your mother..."
6. "Do not murder"
7. "Do not commit adultery."
8. "Do not steal."
9. "Do not bear false witness against your neighbor"
10. "Do not covet your neighbor's house"

Somehow, I entered the sanctuary today feeling unworthy to worship God. As the sermon was preached, I somehow got the message that we should not test God and His grace again and again... I am reminded about how Moses was in God's favour but because of a wrong-doing, he never got into the Promised Land...

It seems like a big contrast to me, having received so much blessings this week, and how distant I felt from God today... It is not so much the blessings but the desire to want to be with God and experience Him... Of course, the blessings are good but secondary... I am reminded how sin sometimes separate us from God (because God is a holy and righteous God) and so much is at stake when we are distant from Him; we can no longer enjoy the communion with Him and His blessings. Dear God, I repent and ask for your forgiveness... God, also give me more strength to reach out to minister to those who have strayed far from your kingdom...