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We are all discoverers... travelling the world, learning its truths, its people and its meanings every single day. Grab your backpacks and let's embark on this journey of mine, one that holds a lot of meaning to me... Lilypie Kids birthday Ticker

Saturday, December 24, 2005

 

Suburban Christmas Getaway

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My friends and I decided to have a quiet Christmas this year. Well, we are not the "party party" type anyway and don't exactly fancy being amidst throngs of people.

So, we decided to book a hotel room and maybe have our simple little gathering cum Christmas get-together cum birthday celebration. Wanted to book a room at Changi Meridien but the rates were so high, some $200 plus for Christmas Eve. Other hotels were either fully booked or too "in town". Finally managed to get quite a deal just 2 days before Christmas Eve and booked a room with Grand Mercure Roxy at $168 nett (but with conditions that we cannot change the date, cancel the booking and must make online payment).

Turned out the room was very big and nice, had a nice and unobstructed view of Katong and the hotel was situated not far from city, with Parkway Parade and a lot of good food around :) Anyway, we were all happy with the room and it really felt like a getaway; even when we walked to Parkway Parade to shop, it felt like as if we were overseas :)

Spent the whole of Christmas Eve, walking around Marine Parade, eating and shopping at Parkway Parade, chilling out in the hotel room and playing Xbox games. At night, we celebrated our friend's birthday and also played "Risk" till late at night before we all "concussed".


Smiley Cake
My Friend's Birthday Cake (or what's left of it)

The next morning, we had early morning Mac breakfast in Marine Parade and I left for my church's Christmas service.


Our Room


The View Outside


Peek-a-boo!
Playing with toys @ Parkway Parade

 

SHAME ON THEM!!!

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I haven't really been following the NKF saga but recently had a little time to read through a little bit. Anyway, it was all over the news and it became like the talk of the town for so long.

The more I read, the more intensely irritated I got on how it was mismanaged in such a gross manner... The saga was a real scandal and disgrace of the non-profit sector. I am so really mad because this mismangement will have its effect on so many many people. Not only will the beneficiaries of NKF be affected so will other charities and their beneficiaries be affected by this saga, with a possible decrease in public confidence in charities in Singapore. Look at the ripple effects... Just a few examples which made me hopping mad:
  • NKF inflated the number of patients under its care in its fund-raising attempts
  • Ignored audit recommendations for tighter financial controls
  • Had such unclear employment guidelines which saw some people getting sky-high pay, pay increases, overtime pay, leave encashments and bonuses. Some volunteers were even given such great executive powers that some staff don't even have.
  • How some people have attempted to cover-up all these and even threatened to sue others for attempting to bring the truth to light
  • Lavish spending and sometimes even using funds inappropriately.
As a social worker, I have worked with kidney patients before and know how much they suffer because of their kidney failure. The illness is not only emotionally painful but also physically and financially painful. Dialysis could cost like $2000 a month for families and which family have $2000 of disposable income set aside each month. Which is why I really appreciate the work of subsidized dialysis centres like NKF, KDF etc. Which is why I always tell others not to punish the beneficiaries just because of the actions of the management as the patients would really need as much help as they can get.

It is one thing to appreciate the cause but another thing to know that there are people who are living lavishly at the expense of the patients! This makes me mad! To make things worse, there are really such people out there who also make use of "charities" and people's kind-heartedness to cheat others of their money. These are small-scale cheats and are equally despicable as the people who have caused the NKF saga! Shame on them for having no conscience at all!


Shame by naraosga

Friday, December 23, 2005

 

My Mission

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Today was a short day at work... went to work late and there was basically no phonecalls and no emails to follow-up so I soon found myself downstairs helping with the prep work for our Christmas celebrations. It was a half-day at work today and so I was soon on my way home after the party to rest for a while before my cell group's carolling tonight. Real excited because I had never carol before and my 1st carolling experience is actually in cantonese, hokkien and chinese... real challenge siah!

My First Carolling Experience

Equipped with my "hanyu-pinyin" filled song sheet, we made our way to the 3 houses where we are going to carol. Tonight, we are going to visit 3 needy families. We arrived at the first house and did our bit of the show. It was a blessing that everything went well despite the fact that we had only practice once so far and some of us did not know hokkien and some did not know cantonese.

When we entered the flats of these elderlies, we noticed that it is bare, with only the basic necessities i.e. beds and maybe a table and a few chairs, nothing lavish, these elderlies lived a simple life. When we entered the second house, a rather foul smell greeted us so much so it was rather difficult to sing with that smell. But we gritted our teeth and carolled. After a while, we got quite used to the smell and eventually even stayed on to chit-chat with the uncle.

I sat beside the uncle on his sofa and chit-chatted with him with my other cell group mates but was soon quietly reminded by one to change when I got home because the flat had bed bugs. Upon hearing this, I gracefully stood up and continued talking while standing... guess I did not want to take chances with bed bugs.

Made for a Mission
In retrospect, I think I can summarize my struggles this week with one word "Mission". Incidently, I was given a book by my ex-sup entitled "You Were Made for a Mission" and it was a thin book; something which I like because I forever do not have the motivation to finish reading books, always stop half-way. Anyway, was reading it on my way home and realized that I have been struggling with the issue of "mission" this week. One sentence caught my attention:
"Jesus calls us not only to come to him, but to go for him"

I guess this just about sums up the last purpose of the purpose-driven life. Over the past 4 months, my life has changed and I was sharing my testimony with some of my dear friends. I am also struggling with the decision whether to talk to my friend who seems to be in a cult to get him back on track but guess I somehow pushed that to the back of my mind because it was a difficult decision to make. But now it became clear especially with the following statements...

"If your neighbour had cancer or AIDS and you knew the cure, it would be criminal to withhold that lifesaving information"

"The Bible says, 'You must warn them so they may live. If you don't speak out to warn the wicked to stop their evil ways, they will die in their sins. But I will hold you responsible for their deaths.'"


I guess from these 2 statements that it becomes clear of God's instruction to me just when I am having this struggle (I realized that these few months, that whenever I have a struggle with an issue, a lesson will soon follow). I have decided to speak to maybe my cell group leader to see how I can go forth from here but I am really praying for guidance and wisdom.

Anyway, I have only finished 8 pages of that book, hope I can find motivation to finish it soon. :)
Just 2 days ago, I was reminded of my purpose to work with volunteers to care for the needy and now this.

Wanna Go Hong Kong
Right after carolling, I met up with my 2 friends since they lived just a couple of blocks away and we went to this new 24 hours Dim Sum place in Hougang South. The atmosphere really reminded me of Hong Kong with its bright bright colours and vibranct decor... we also ordered quite a bit of hong kong dim sum. I even suggested going to Hong Kong with these 2 friends maybe next year hahaha... see got $$ first or not la :)


Dim Sum "all-around-the-clock"

Thursday, December 22, 2005

 

Magical Christmas

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Today is especially christmasy...

Christmas Giving "Tradition"
Early in the morning, I walked into my department with my little sweet "hampers". My colleagues have reminded me not to buy gifts for everyone but I insisted that this is my "christmas tradition" to wrap little packages of sweets as a way of sharing the Christmas joy with my fellow colleagues... it feels so good to be able to give...

No 1's Sleigh Stopped By
Shortly after lunch, my number 1 and number 2 (bosses) came down to each department and gathered everyone together to sing christmas carols and later distributed little gifts to each staff... wow, what an interesting culture and there is this warm kind of feeling being in this family of wonderfully nice people...

Hamper of "Belly-Buttons"
My colleagues went to buy many many "belly buttons", drew nice faces on each belly button and packed it into a nice christmas present to me... OK, there is a history behind it... you see, everytime after lunch, one of my colleagues will always supply fruits to everyone and everytime she buys oranges, she will choose those with deep "belly buttons" at the bottom i.e. sweet oranges, hence the nickname "belly buttons". Now, I call oranges "belly buttons" :) So today, they gave me a "belly button" hamper :)



Winter Wonderland
Was invited to a thanksgiving function at one of the centres under my organization. Hahaha, felt so "important" because I was like one of the VIPs since I came from HQ; I was quickly "qurantined" with the other VIPs and although it felt great being a VIP, it also was very stressful since I was among many directors and officers and didn't know anyone. As usual, I was quiet in one small corner and kinda "battered" myself up cognitively asking myself why I am so shy again? Anyway, that feeling is not important but more the gifts I took back with me after the whole function...

When I entered the hall, I really felt all christmasy because there were christmas trees everywhere and all the trees had "snow" (shredded paper pieces) on them... the whole scene was so picturesque. There was snow on the trees, snow on the chairs, snow on the floor and it was freezing cold... recreating the feeling of winter. It really felt like I was in winter wonderland :) Towards the end, everyone was even having plain innocent fun and was throwing "snow" at each other... what fun!

Revelations - God's Love
Tonight's function brought many a revelations... it reminded me of the true meaning of Christmas. I mean, I have kind of taken Christmas for granted in the past 26 years of my life... not really fully comprehending the reason for Christmas, seeing it just as a merry time of being happy and receiving gifts... a "feel good" period of shopping and enjoying nice-sounding carols...

This Christmas is different from other Christmas as I finally come to realize that Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, our saviour who has been given as a gift to humanity to save us...

John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son"

God sent his son, Jesus, to die on the cross for us so that we may be forgiven for all our sins and be closer to God... this explains why Jesus is also called "Emmanuel" which means God with Us... I have learnt that despite how much we have sinned and moved away from him, he has again and again shown so much grace to us and have even sent his only son to die on the cross for us... As the youths and children acted and sang, this realization of God's love suddenly touched me so much that I felt tears welling up...

A particular phrase from the song "Amazing Grace" came to mind...

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me...
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see"

Yes, I was once lost but now am found... and God has again and again showed me his grace and have not given up on me despite me having backslided so long... I continue to count my blessings day after day and can only thank God for all he has given me thus far.

Revelation - You are Uniquely You
As the show went on, I also find myself envying the some of the people; some spoke so well, some are so outgoing, some are so good with singing and I remember asking God "why I cannot be like them". Then, I hear something like that in my mind:

"You have been given certain skills and talents and have been put where you are to serve God in your own ways. You may not be able to be as outgoing and fun as other people but you have skills and talents which others do not have and you are putting it to use, doing God's work. Do not compare because God made everyone differently with a different purpose"

I guess this is a imporant revelation and I can go on battering myself or recognize my God-given skills, talents and gifting and put it to good use.

Revelations - God's People
Before tonight's function, beneficiaries to me are like people who are disempowered and need our help. I guess I was so caught up with work that I focused too much on my volunteers to really forget that beneficiaries are humans too and not just pure numbers.

Watching the beneficiaries perform today has made me refocus on my work and remember my purpose... I am not only serving volunteers but also beneficiaries... Both are humans and are capable of growth... today I saw the many talents the beneficiaries had; some were even better than me... some sang incredibly well while some acted very well.

I guess, in a way, I underestimated the potential of beneficiaries. Just because the beneficiaries have made mistakes before in their lives doesn't make them any lesser a human than other humans. In fact, I come to realize that having made mistakes before put these people in a better position to be better people... having "been there and done that" and being more convicted to come back on track... I was given a second chance and don't see why I should not given others a second chance?

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

 

Worship That Makes My Heartbeat Race

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I was asked to visit a friend's church service and having declined for a couple of times due to work, I finally decided to oblige and visit but I never know that it became an evening which made me so uncomfortable that I am still praying for healing... I have a kind of feeling that this is not conventional church and there were several signs...

1. Slow Growth Church - I spent some time talking to my friend's friends who came to meet up with me and to fetch me to their service. Had a little chit-chat with them and found out that despite being around for 5 years, they are only about 30 active members strong...

2. Church Premises - Next, the church did not have a building of its own and seemed to have rented a office space at some old shopping mall. I have nothing against small churches without their own premises but somehow it started alarm bells ringing because there is the possibility of a notion of conducting the service in a "hush-hush" manner, maybe because it is not mainstream?

3. Worship Songs - The worship songs sounded like pop songs, much like the pop love songs we hear on radio and it referred to God as lovers... about us being in love with God... This just somehow didn't sound right! There was also words such as "攝理", which seems to mean providence, being used

4. Revered Portrait - When I entered the "church", I noticed this couch right in front of the hall with this portrait of an unfamiliar face... it is placed in a manner almost like this portrait is being worshipped upon... Although I have backslided and am still a new Christian with little knowledge of the Word of God, one thing I know is that idolatry i.e. worship of idols is forbidden... For the Word of God states:

Exodus 20:3-6

3 "You shall have no other gods before me.

4 "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments.

Galatians 5:20

19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;

20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
5. Environment - As I entered my church every Sunday, I felt the presence of God to the extent on a couple of Sundays I was not feeling well but seemed to have recovered by the time service finishes. But here, I totally did not feel the presence of God (could also be because I felt so uncomfortable in the first place already). I also felt that the worshippers, well, just felt different...

6. Service Format - Alarm bells also started ringing when during the informal chit-chat with my friend's friends, I found out that they have service everyday, instead of just 1 day in the week. They cited that they wanted the message of God to stick with them and usually by mid-week, everyone would have forgotten the lesson they have learnt from sermon so they have service everyday. Also, sermons are "centralized" in that all the churches around the world will listen to a sermon from the pastor in Korea, instead of having the local pastors preach... he will deliver the sermon in korean and there will be concurrent translation in English and Chinese for those attending the English and Chinese services respectively.

Here's the funny thing... the video just didn't sync with the korean speech (even though the video image and sound synced at the time where he prayed and ends his service). Also, his sermon made little reference to the Bible and seemed like more of a "brain-washing" session, sharing his interpretation and perspective of things. Throughout the whole sermon, I see people around me knodding their heads in agreement and keep saying "Amen!". I find it funny how a sermon which started off as talking about wanting to learn the meaning of Christmas eventually became a talk of how some nations like US are bullying weaker nations and that God should pass his judgment and that people who are unholy should disappear from this world. Listen here: Disappear from this world, not forgiven!!! And all these while, people are knodding their heads!!

I think I must have felt real impatient about leaving and then just before the service was supposed to end, a female "minister" came to the front to pray and the prayer must have lasted for some 20 mins and I remember being so irritated I wanted to ask her to shut up and leave... There was also a period of time when she spoke about her realization of the love of God for her and she broke down and cried but I just felt it was so fake... though she seemed to really be crying quite badly...

Spiritual Dilemma
Today's experience seems to run parallel to what I learnt from the show "King Kong"; that how one's words can have so much influence and colour the way other people sees things... just like how the Carl Denham had a way with people in the show, getting things done his way and somehow having the skills of talking people round to follow his cause.

He later saw the opportunity to make a killing (literally speaking) by transporting King Kong back to New York and exhibited just like in a freak show... Throughout the show, we had seen how King Kong is also kind but in the end was shot dead at the top of the Empire State building, partly because King Kong has been portrayed as an dangerous and evil creature to the people there. This somehow, sad to say, sealed its end.

I must admit that I felt so vulnerable that I started questioning a lot of things... God's word is there but it can be coloured by so many people in so many ways that it becomes so scary... One part of me question the validity of my faith system and yet another part wants me to do something to bring my friend and his friends back "on the right track". I can bear to see others going astray and led by someone who seem to have his own agenda...

I thank God for helping me to survive that session and for giving me wisdom to see all these decrepancies but am also praying for healing if my faith have suffered a damage from participating in the session.

Post-Notes (24/12):
On the day itself after returning from the service, I had tried to search on "Church of Hope" but found not much information on it. Today, I tried again and used the word "攝理" to perform a google search and was linked to "南韓攝理教會" (South Korean Jesus Morning Star Church) and its founder, Jong Myong Suk, whose initials are also JMS, same as Jesus Morning Star. Apparently, there are several news reports about him in Taiwan and Japan on sexual assault allegations made on him. The more I read about him, the more I am afraid.

Monday, December 19, 2005

 

Of Christmas Gifts, Shopping and Blessings

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Pace of work was slowing down and I could get a little breather. In fact, was getting a little lazy and not wanting to do much during this period, think maybe am in Christmas mood liaoz :) after all, Christmas is my fav time of the year.

Boss Gave Us Fruits
Sat into my department meeting the first time today and boss gave us all a "Fruit of Faithfulness" plaque. Can tell that my boss really care about her staff. Although she has once told me that she keeps her distance from her staff, I can see her trying to bridge the gap between boss and staff, especially recently when she got angry about the staff BBQ thingy. Anywaym real appreciate her for her gift and for remembering us. My plaque was an orange and was on faithfulness:
"We are not among those who draw back and perish, but among those who have faith and will possess life" Hebrews 10:38
Put the plaque on my desk. Now, my desk is starting to look more like a cosy work desk with many decor items and accessories. Previously, it was bare and empty (I even lost my in-tray and it became like a joke in my department because my boss did put an in-tray but somehow it disappeared and she thought I did not like to use in-trays and hid it :)).

Mass Mailing Christmas Blessings
Since I wasn't really in the mood of doing much and having finished all my urgent work assignments, I started to look through my emails to compile a list of email addresses to send Christmas ecards to. After all, being a volunteer coordinator is not only about work but also about building relationships with all; former, current and even prospective volunteers all the same. Spent the whole morning going throug what must have felt like 2000 over emails to compile the list and sent out about 800 over ecards in the end. Achievement!

Christmas Toy Shopping
Went Christmas shopping along in City Hall area and was shopping around for toys. Must have been a real long time since I was amidst shelves and shelves of toys... the process of shopping was so fun itself and I was like so tempted to buy so many toys for myself hahaha... Also shopped around for inspiration for Christmas gifts for my colleagues. Since I do not know them that well and could not really afford getting everyone a gift each, I again decided to pack my own sweet "hampers", just as I had did for the past 3 years... bought boxes of brownie, chocolates and other sweets and bought those cloth type of gift wrap for the "sweet hampers".


O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree


Christmas Toys

Who I Passionately Hate!
On my way home, I encountered this teenager boy who had an empty seat beside him but somehow refused to move in to make room for someone else to sit, despite the bus being crowded. I could understand if he was carrying lots of stuff or a big bag and had chosen to sit on the outside so as not to inconvenience others when alighting but he had nothing at all. I think I now know who I passionately hate and that is those kind of people who are just not self-aware and becomes a nuisance to others...

Sunday, December 18, 2005

 

A Father's Love

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Woke up with aches everywhere because had just started to do exercise again after having stopped for so long... it gets so painful that everytime I move my joints, it hurts and the muscle aches... ouch!

I have heard a nice and meaningful song this week and liked it so much. Here's the lyrics:

Deeper In Love
By Don Moen


There is a longing only You can fill
A raging temptest only You can still
My soul is thirsty Lord
To know You as I'm known
Drink from the river
That flows before your throne

Take me deeper
Deeper in love with You
Jesus hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper
Deeper than I've ever been before
I just want to love You more and more
How I long to be deeper in love

Sunrise to sunrise
I will seek Your face
Drawn by the Spirit
To the promise of Your grace
My heart has found in You
A hope that will abide
Here in Your presence
Forever satisfied

Emmanuel - God with Us
This Christmas, I am starting to learn more about the true reason for Christmas and will never see Christmas in the same light again. Today's sermon was on "God with Us" and how God has continued to find ways of beng close to us and had eventually sent Jesus, his only son down to us to die on the cross for our sins so we may be pardoned for our sins and be close to God again. Christmas celebrates this gift from God and the birth of Jesus Christ, who is also named Emmanuel (i.e. God with Us).

In the evening, I decided to go watch the musical by my organization which is a story based on the parable of the Prodigal Son. This musical meant more to me since I was like the prodigal son, who have left home but have not returned. I was lost but now am found. Although many of the actors and actresses were inexperienced, the story was captivating enough to bring up tears. At the end of the musical, they also showed a video clip about Dick Hoyt and his son Rick. Rick has suffered from cerebral palsy since birth and has one day expressed to his father by typing away at the computer with a stick from his head to say that he desired to take part in a triathlon.
"The spark for this lifetime of patience and devotion was ignited in 1977. The teen-age Rick asked his father if he could participate in a five-kilometer (3.1 mile) race to benefit an athlete paralyzed in an accident. Dick agreed and pushed his son the entire distance in a jerry-rigged chair...For that event, competitors have to swim 2 1/2 miles through the ocean and then peddle a bicycle 112 miles before running a hilly, 26.2-mile marathon.

In the triathlon swim, Rick lies on his back in a rubber raft attached by rope to a wetsuit vest worn by his father. In the bike portion, Rick sits in a chair attached to the front of Dick's bike, and on the run, Dick pushes Rick in the race chair."

~ http://www.cnn.com/US/9911/29/hoyt.family/
They completed the race and someone commented to the father that had he not have to race with his son, he might have won the race but the father responded that without his son, he wouldn't be in the race. This true story spoke to the great fatherly love and the extent to which a human father will go for his son. In the same way, God has sent his only son to suffer and die on the cross to save us from our sins... what more could I ask for?

Carolling in Dialect
Had my first carolling practice with my cell group and you know what?! We are singing in dialect! Hahaha... had to really get someone to sing the song and all of us diligently noted down the pronunciation of the words. A real challenge indeed but fun!

Dim Sum Galore!
Right after the muscial, we met another friend and had a dim sum feast at Changi Village!




On top of the World:
Serene Night View from Rooftop, Changi Meridien

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