Worship That Makes My Heartbeat Race

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I was asked to visit a friend's church service and having declined for a couple of times due to work, I finally decided to oblige and visit but I never know that it became an evening which made me so uncomfortable that I am still praying for healing... I have a kind of feeling that this is not conventional church and there were several signs...

1. Slow Growth Church - I spent some time talking to my friend's friends who came to meet up with me and to fetch me to their service. Had a little chit-chat with them and found out that despite being around for 5 years, they are only about 30 active members strong...

2. Church Premises - Next, the church did not have a building of its own and seemed to have rented a office space at some old shopping mall. I have nothing against small churches without their own premises but somehow it started alarm bells ringing because there is the possibility of a notion of conducting the service in a "hush-hush" manner, maybe because it is not mainstream?

3. Worship Songs - The worship songs sounded like pop songs, much like the pop love songs we hear on radio and it referred to God as lovers... about us being in love with God... This just somehow didn't sound right! There was also words such as "攝理", which seems to mean providence, being used

4. Revered Portrait - When I entered the "church", I noticed this couch right in front of the hall with this portrait of an unfamiliar face... it is placed in a manner almost like this portrait is being worshipped upon... Although I have backslided and am still a new Christian with little knowledge of the Word of God, one thing I know is that idolatry i.e. worship of idols is forbidden... For the Word of God states:

Exodus 20:3-6

3 "You shall have no other gods before me.

4 "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments.

Galatians 5:20

19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;

20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

5. Environment - As I entered my church every Sunday, I felt the presence of God to the extent on a couple of Sundays I was not feeling well but seemed to have recovered by the time service finishes. But here, I totally did not feel the presence of God (could also be because I felt so uncomfortable in the first place already). I also felt that the worshippers, well, just felt different...

6. Service Format - Alarm bells also started ringing when during the informal chit-chat with my friend's friends, I found out that they have service everyday, instead of just 1 day in the week. They cited that they wanted the message of God to stick with them and usually by mid-week, everyone would have forgotten the lesson they have learnt from sermon so they have service everyday. Also, sermons are "centralized" in that all the churches around the world will listen to a sermon from the pastor in Korea, instead of having the local pastors preach... he will deliver the sermon in korean and there will be concurrent translation in English and Chinese for those attending the English and Chinese services respectively.

Here's the funny thing... the video just didn't sync with the korean speech (even though the video image and sound synced at the time where he prayed and ends his service). Also, his sermon made little reference to the Bible and seemed like more of a "brain-washing" session, sharing his interpretation and perspective of things. Throughout the whole sermon, I see people around me knodding their heads in agreement and keep saying "Amen!". I find it funny how a sermon which started off as talking about wanting to learn the meaning of Christmas eventually became a talk of how some nations like US are bullying weaker nations and that God should pass his judgment and that people who are unholy should disappear from this world. Listen here: Disappear from this world, not forgiven!!! And all these while, people are knodding their heads!!

I think I must have felt real impatient about leaving and then just before the service was supposed to end, a female "minister" came to the front to pray and the prayer must have lasted for some 20 mins and I remember being so irritated I wanted to ask her to shut up and leave... There was also a period of time when she spoke about her realization of the love of God for her and she broke down and cried but I just felt it was so fake... though she seemed to really be crying quite badly...

Spiritual Dilemma
Today's experience seems to run parallel to what I learnt from the show "King Kong"; that how one's words can have so much influence and colour the way other people sees things... just like how the Carl Denham had a way with people in the show, getting things done his way and somehow having the skills of talking people round to follow his cause.

He later saw the opportunity to make a killing (literally speaking) by transporting King Kong back to New York and exhibited just like in a freak show... Throughout the show, we had seen how King Kong is also kind but in the end was shot dead at the top of the Empire State building, partly because King Kong has been portrayed as an dangerous and evil creature to the people there. This somehow, sad to say, sealed its end.

I must admit that I felt so vulnerable that I started questioning a lot of things... God's word is there but it can be coloured by so many people in so many ways that it becomes so scary... One part of me question the validity of my faith system and yet another part wants me to do something to bring my friend and his friends back "on the right track". I can bear to see others going astray and led by someone who seem to have his own agenda...

I thank God for helping me to survive that session and for giving me wisdom to see all these decrepancies but am also praying for healing if my faith have suffered a damage from participating in the session.

Post-Notes (24/12):
On the day itself after returning from the service, I had tried to search on "Church of Hope" but found not much information on it. Today, I tried again and used the word "攝理" to perform a google search and was linked to "南韓攝理教會" (South Korean Jesus Morning Star Church) and its founder, Jong Myong Suk, whose initials are also JMS, same as Jesus Morning Star. Apparently, there are several news reports about him in Taiwan and Japan on sexual assault allegations made on him. The more I read about him, the more I am afraid.