Blog, Huh? Why?

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The recent spate of events with bloggers getting charged and the negative publicity about blogging and bloggers somehow made me realize how misunderstood a bunch of people we are. Yes, I used the word "we" because I do identify myself as a blog-tizen (not sure whether there is this word) and I find that it is my responsibility to come forth to clear the air in my own capacity, before something drastic happens.

The Question
At the back of my mind, I was thinking, why do people blog and are bloggers necessary incorrigible, loathsome troube-makers? My answer? Probably... just as there are black sheeps in society, some bloggers just give the blogging world a bad name and misrepresents blog-tizens at large.

The Motivation
Why am I even concerned about this topic? Well, I must say that I have gone through a bad patch a few months ago and I must that my blog did play a part in helping me get back on my feet again, thus I see the value of blogging. Hence, with all the bad publicity about blogging; the government charging 2 bloggers, schools clamming down on students blogging etc, I just feel the urge to, as the chinese saying goes, "return justice" to the blogging world. Technology has its pros and cons and blogging is no different. As a saying in "Spiderman - The Movie" goes: with power (and freedom) comes great responsibility. Even the most useful tool / invention can be used unjustly and irresponsibly.

The Disclaimer
Of course, I do not profess that I know everything about blogging (after all I am still new to blogging being only 2 months old in the blogging world) and I do not have research to back up what I say here but what I am sharing here is just my own take on the matter; a small fragment of many other perspectives on blogging.

The Basic Idea
You can really understand bloggers by looking at their purpose for blogging... this should form the basis for judgment when deciding whether blogging is good or bad (or should even be banned or not). If you are a blogger, ask yourself: what goes into my blog? why do I blog?

I see bloggers belonging to a continuum from one end where bloggers maintain blogs with the purpose of "sharing" to another end where the bloggers maintain blogs with the purpose of "advancing their own agenda".

The Good Side - Sharing... Your Day
Let's look at the good side. I think the most common purpose people maintain seems to be the because people want to share their lives and day with others (sometimes with close friends, sometimes with strangers). These people chronicle how their days had been as well as interesting events, phenomena and observations.

The Good Side - Sharing... Your Perspective
Some people goes a step further and share their perspective of things and matters. After all, we are all humans and we have a brain, don't we? A brain that is capable of processing what we see, hear and experience (through taste, touch, smell). And since all of us have different life experiences with different upbringing (being "wired" by parents to think about things or approach things in a particular way), we all bring with us different ways of looking at the same thing. Think of photography: you will get different effects when you position to shoot in different angles or when you use different kind of lenses to shoot the photos (sometimes exaggerating the subject of photography). It is healthy, at least in my opinion, when we recognize this and share our "unique" perspective of things with others.

The Good Side - Sharing... Your Lessons
Some go even a step further and share lessons they have learnt about life. From the various observations and perspectives, he/she may draw general conclusions about life and share these with the readers of his/her blog. We may not know it but we all carry with us a "roadmap" that helps us navigate through the "journey of life", theories about how things work and how things should be, how people should behave and how we should behave, how people would think and how we would think. Again lessons work for different people in different ways; some may have different life experiences and different lifestyles and the lessons may work or may not work for them, nevertheless the lessons highlighted in the person's blog is still one which works for the person.

The Good Side - Sharing... Your Reflections
Some use blogs to help reflect on things that have happened to them, believing that everything that happens have a meaning or can have a meaning/lesson derived from it. Much like a diary, it chronicles the events, feelings, perspective at any point in time. This story of your life will evoke different kind of feelings at different points in time when you come back to read it again and again. Some use it as a kind of reminder of their life experiences and their priorities in life. The blog can be a very powerful textbook of your life and can be used for you to make sense of your life.

The Good Side - Sharing... Ideas & Knowledge
There are even others who use blogs for constructive reasons, tapping on the power of collectiveness, to share ideas, knowledge, create new things etc. There is a common shared understanding of the purpose of the blog and everyone contributes in a way or another (although there may be "leechers" who just suck ideas and knowledge and not share).

The Good Side - Helping you/others feel understood
Seemingly having its ancestry in the diary, a blog can also be a powerful tool in helping to be one's outlet. I think there is no doubt we live in a stressful world and we constantly seek to be understood. It can feel lonely at times when it seems no one understands you and especially for these people, blogs can give you a sense of being understood (since there is the comments component where people can either make you feel affirmed or worst just because they condemn your post). But one thing remains true, we should always remember that what is in a blog is a reflection of the person's own world and we should respect that.

In Short
In short, a blog, used constructively helps captures (i) the day in the life of... , (ii) observations, (iii) perspectives, (iv) lessons or theories, (v) reflections and meanings, (vi) ideas and knowledge, and/or (vii) affirmations and shares them.

I think we all know moderation is the key and too much of something maybe bad. For example:

The Bad Side - Ego-Centrism
Using the blog to chronicle even the most minute detail of a blogger's life relfects dependency on the blog and the danger of being too self-centred... that the whole world revolves around that blogger and that "everyone wants to know about his/her life". Too much of a voice for oneself is also unhealthy.

Blogs, with is potential to reach out to a lot of people, can also be used to selfishly advance one's own agenda. For example:

The Bad Side - Getting Back @ Others
Some use blogs to bitch about people they don't like. Some use the blog to "expose" the injustice done to them to the whole world, trying to win people to their side by presenting their one sided perspective of things. Worse, some bloggers even engage in blog wars, hurling abuses and allegations at one another, in the process gaining more motivation to continue when by-standers contribute comments to their post, encouraging them or condemning them.

The Bad Side - Preaching One's Way as THE Way
Using the blog to "preach" that one's perspective of things is the correct way of looking at things. Having an alternative view is good and it helps people to think about things and draw their own conclusions but how good is a perspective when it tries to drown others in the process, failing to note the positives of a situation, only highlighting the negatives.

The Bad Side - Adopting an Alternative Persona
There is no way of confirming how many really does this but I think it is possible that some adopts an alternative persona in their blog, behaving very differently from who they are in real life. Blogging literally allows one to be who he/she wants and to behave how he/she wants to (which would not be possible in real life). It also allows them to be creative and create fictional world(s) and fictional events, all the while packaged in a way that this is a real blog of a real person. There is of course, in my opinion, a danger of leading 2 lives and losing touch with his/her real self or even worst, an increasing dissatisfaction of his/her own life.

Final Words
There is thus a "think" line to tread between having a "healthy" blog vs an "unhealthy" blog. Of course, I do not think there is a blog that can purely fit into one of the above categories, more so like a mixture of these components.

So where is your blog on the continuum?

I Feel So Ashamed

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Today, I went to The Salvation Army's processing centre for donations-in-kind to meet some volunteers to discuss some matters.

I tell you, these volunteers are really gungho, you can really feel the passion. Despite working full-time elsewhere, their passion saw them coming together on Saturdays to do meaningful things, from as young as 12 years old to as old as 80 years old. We had a fruitful meeting and they can say "let's have a fun fair 2 weeks later" and they just go ahead. I guess this is really what make things fun, being gungho and have the "let's do it" kind of attitude. For me, whenever I plan something, I spend a lot of time looking into all apsects of things, carefully planning and make sure that there is at least 2 months of preparation time. This definitely takes the fun out of doing things esp when you work with volunteers who want to see results quick. Lesson for my alumni since I have stopped meetings eons ago because of my personal crisis.

KEEP THINGS SIMPLE AND LET'S DO IT!

I am still impressed by the work culture of The Salvation Army. Unlike other places I had been, you can really feel the love and passion in the staff and volunteers. They really love what they are doing and can be at it even on weekends and sundays. Everyone try to be prudent and no one waste unnecessary money on things which could be bought from the thrift stores under The Salvation Army. You will find staff sometimes using furniture and electronic equipments (which are in good condition) that are being donated. You name it, they have it at the Thrift Store. Staff also try to travel by bus instead of taxi, railway or budget airlines instead of mainstream airlines, unless necessary. And they remember their mission and who they serve.

A Tour of The Family Thrift Store @ Upper Serangoon Rd

The Upper Serangoon Thrift Store (Formerly Youngberg Hospital)

Volunteer packing donated books (most in good condition)

Books Galore!

Books displayed on donated shelves, sorted and classified by volunteers

2nd Hand PCs for Sale...

Cupboards, Shelves etc...

Living Room Furnitures...

Anyone wants to play a tune?

Clothes...

Bedframes...

Little knick knacks...

Donated Artpieces...

Exercise equipments...

Even golf clubs

Have I Really Achieved Anything?

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I felt a great sense of achievement this week but have I really achieved anything at all?

My two buns were still intact

I managed to succeed in my first ever fast. OK, did cheat a bit and drank some water but managed to not touch food from the time I started work at 8.30am till 10.30pm when cell ended. I have fought off all temptation through the day to eat; at least I passed the test of perseverance. By evening, I was really so hungry that it became difficult to continue with the fast but I pressed on nonetheless.

Did I tell you how food seems so colourful when you are hungry? Went with my colleagues to Junction 8 for lunch today and they ate Yoshinoya... instead of eating, I drank a cup of green tea. Throughout the whole time, I can't help but notice how colourful the food looked... bright green broccoli, bright orange carrot "coins" together with white white rice and golden brown fried chicken or fish... *stomach growls*

The culprit!

Then they proceeded to Secret Recipe next door which was jammed-packed with people buying their cheesecakes (there was this one-for-one offer in October). There was this queue because people were literally buying boxes of cakes to take advantage of the offer. And you know what?! My friend was just buying 2 slices of cake but we had to wait because people before us bought boxes of cake... so I ended up standing ther admiring the cakes... *stomach growl growl*

Accused number 2 and 3

Anyway, so proud of myself that I managed to survive through it all and out of the 3 mini-buns I bought in the morning (1 of which I ate before going to work at 8.30am), the last 2 remained intact through the day until the evening when it was offered to another cell mate who was hungry.

Eventually, broke fast at 10.30pm. Tell you, seems like I have not eaten for ages and have missed the taste of food... we are so blessed. In the end, I ate 1 fishball, a sandwich, 2 chicken wings and 1 "popiah" (spring roll). After that, my cell went to Chomp Chomp for a feast to celebrate the breaking of fast, haha. We ate share 1 stingray, 20 sticks of satay, 2 chicken wings and a plate of carrot cake. Think we ate too much hor? My friend commented that it seemed like food for a week hahaha.

The "Systemic" Me @ Work
I noticed my strength seems to be in setting up systems and throughout the week, I had managed to read through quite a bit of the files in my office cupboard. Throughout the span of 1 week, I compiled my observations for my centre visits, drafted 2 new workflows for handling volunteer management, created several forms and template emails as well as thought through the structure for the new volunteer management system. All these while handling calls from public inquiring on volunteering, coordinating volunteer placements and projects etc. Think I acheieved quite a bit, for just being a 2-week old "baby" in this organization...

The Issue with Trust
Although I felt real good about myself by the time I left work to go to cell, this did not last long. I seemed to have achieved much in the area of work but not in the area of relationships. Today's cell was on building a lasting relationship (although targetted at couples, it still have many learning points for relationships in general). According to the speaker, a lasting relationship has 4 pillars:

• Love
• Trust
• Honour
• Understanding

and it is built on 6 things:

• Time
• Appreciation
• Commitment
• Spiritual Commitment
• Communication
• Conflict Resolution Skills

Well he did make sense and while talking about all these, I can't help but feel like a failure in relationship aspect of my life. I had recently, in a way ended a friendship with a friend who was "beginning to hate me". I guess all the struggles I have when in the midst of people all boils down to the issue of trust. I don't doubt that I had been hurt before and had learnt not to trust people that easily.

In NS, I trusted my friends and got into trouble with the police, accusing me of car theft. We did nothing illegal just that they were smoking in NS uniform and I was standing next to them. The next moment, before I knew it, they forsaken me and ran away when they saw a patrol car, leaving me confused (why they ran away). Subsequently, the police thought that we behaved suspiciously and "interrogated" me. They had really got me into trouble! The police even called my Commanding Officer to tell him that they found me behaving suspiciously and was accused of possible car theft. Luckily my CO believed in me and laughed when he heard that. And that day happened to be the day I collected my "A" levels result so at school when I saw my "friends" again, they rebuked me for being "stupid and not run with them".

During my "industrial attachment", my fellow attachment mate complained to my supervisor that I copied her work and presented it as my own. I was really caught by surprise when my supervisor confronted me on this in front of my attachment mate. I think I may have offended her the day before because I was trying to combine both our research into a paper but then because we had problem putting them into a coherent document, I stupidly (but unintentionally) suggested putting those parts that could not fit into Annex. Of course I later found out that these parts happened to be her part but it was too late, she had taken offence. The next day, I was accused of "copying" her work. Sigh.

I guess these 2 incidents has caused me to not trust people that easily and now the recent incident involving my friend who I had doubts about. No wonder I always find it so difficult to survive in social situations; always find it difficult to warm up to strangers because I am afraid of being hurt again.

The Lesson
We were asked to take the parts of our relationships that needed healing into the hands of God and pray for healing... I guess that is so important because we always want control, want to have that sense of being in control and being able to achieve things on our own, we often forgot that we cannot handle everything and need to humble ourselves and trust in the grace of God. I am praying for healing for this friendship.

Fasting Begins

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OK, a brand new day.

I have committed myself to fasting today with my cell group mates until tonight after cell, we will all break fast together.

Praying that I will succeed. Anyway, on my way to work, I dropped by a bread shop and bought 3 mini "char siew" buns (just in case). Hope I succeed, update again.

Really 9 Million Bicycles?

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Heard an interesting song on radio today, Katie Melua's "Nine Million Bicycles"

Nine Million Bicycles
By: Katie Melua

There are nine million bicycles in Beijing

That's a fact
It's a thing we can't deny
Like the fact that I will love you till I die

We are twelve billion light years from the edge
That's a guess
No-one can ever say it's true
But I know that I will always be with you

I'm warmed by the fire of your love everyday
So don't call me a liar
Just believe everything that I say

There are six billion people in the world
More or less
And it makes me feel quite small
But you're the one I love the most of all

We're high on the wire
With the world in our sight
And I'll never tire
Of the love that you give me every night

There are nine million bicycles in Beijing
That's a fact
It's a thing we can't deny
Like the fact that I will love you till I die

And there are nine million bicycles in Beijing
And you know that I will love you till I die

View the MTV here: http://www.katiemelua.com/cinema.htm

Later, heard a version done by Vernon A (Perfect 10 DJ) singing his own rendition, singing about the transortation situation in Singapore but can't find that on the internet le... cute song.

Also heard a funny advertisement for a chinese restaurant in Carlton Hotel... hahaha, funny auntie singing, i opera style...

You Never Go Wrong with Food!

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I almost didn't have anything to blog today but then what's the big deal? I don't need to have to blog everyday do I? Anyway, today's blog entry is on none other than... food!

Kind of felt guilty for eating so much today... I am supposed to have dinner at home but then I somehow found myself in Bishan after work, eating with a friend and his girlfriend. Within 2 hours, I ate a MOS burger hotdog, fries, apple soda, 2 slices of kaya-butter toast, tea, 2 eggs, 1 fish cake, sigh... and to top that, dinner is waiting for me at home.

Kaya-Butter Toast
Anyway, haven't had kaya toast and eggs for quite sometime now so couldn't resist the temptation to try. Come to realize that there are so many ways of eating your kaya toast and eggs... the local way:

The "Before"

Some like their kaya-butter toast just the way they are...
Some like to dip their kaya-butter toast into their coffee or tea...
Some like to dip their kaya-butter toast into the half-boiled egg...
Some like to leave the egg yolk intact and suck up the egg yolk one by one
Some like to "beat" the egg yolk, mixing it up with black soy sauce and pepper and eat it

Signs of Satisfaction...
droplets of tea flowing down the cup

Xi Dao Fish Cake
Anyway, left YaKun a satisfied person hahaha but have to exercise soon so that I feel less guilty. On my way home, saw a store selling these very huge and long "xi dao" fish cakes... looks so unqiue, decided to buy some for my family... Not bad, taste fresh and "springy"...

Long Long Fish "Fingers"

Blue Elephant... Going, Going, Extinct!
Received news from my friend that Blue Elephant, a Thai restaurant at Millenia Walk which serves reasonably priced ala carte Thai buffet, had closed down. Funny, it seems that all the ala carte buffets me and my friends visit all eventually closed down... Last time was Duxton Palace, which served all-you-can-eat ala carte dim sum at $8 and now this... Looks like our "makan kungfu" quite formidable ah?

1 Day Fast
Just received an email from soneone in my cell group suggesting that we fast on Friday and then break fast together after cell. What a wonderful idea (considering how much I have eaten today), hahaha... anyway good to fast to experience hunger since we are all so blessed; we are instead spoilt for choice what to eat. Occasionally, some of us also can't finish our food and we throw them away while some don't even have enough to eat. Good to try and put my perseverance and determination to the test. OK shall try and see whether I will succeed.

Ang Mo Supermarket
I have always liked Bishan... somehow like the town; friendly town with plenty of green pastures and low-lying block of flats... Anyway, my colleagues took my on a kind of "tour" around the neighbourhood these few days during lunch and told me where the "good finds" are... One of it happens to be the "Ang Mo Supermarket". Call me "swa ku" or what but somehow I didn't know about this supermarket which apparently is like the carrefour of Bishan and sells cheap groceries. At first, thought the supermarket was owned by "Ang Mo" (caucasian) but turned out the supermarket is really called "Ang Mo Supermarket". Think there is another branch in Hougang. Shall go there to buy stuff one of these days...

Carrefour of Bishan

Awkward!
OK, finally this part is not about food. I was somehow clearing my work and since I am meeting a friend for dinner in Bishan and he was in the area, I invited him to my office to wait for me while I packed. As he was sitting there reading the papers, oops, my director walked in... awkward! Don't really know how she feels about having a friend over in my office... Had almost wanted to explain that my friend was here to inquire about volunteering but did not. Hahaha, should be OK la hor?

Cat vs Dog Christian

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Exracted form http://unveilinglory.gospelcom.net

Cat vs Dog
Today my department met for departmental devotion in my room and the topic presented was on "Theology vs Me-ology", very interesting... Here it goes...

Dog-type Christians say:
"You pet me, you feed me, you shelter me, you love me, you must be God"
Cat-type Christians say:
"You pet me, you feed me, you shelter me, you love me, I must be God"

Dog-type Christians:
Walks towards heaven because of love for God.
Cat-type Christians:
Walks away from hell to escape suffering.

Dog-type Christians:
Worship to give thanks and Glory to God; Expression of love for God.
Cat-type Christians:
Worship to escape suffering in hell.

Dog-type Christians:
Studies Theology
Cat-type Christians:
Studies "Me-ology"

Interesting way of putting it, I say... Anyway, my department later discussed the presentation and remembering last Sunday's sermon, I shared with my teammates what my pastor shared on Matthew 6:33, that emphasis should be placed on "seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness" and not on "all these things will be given to you as well" since it seems to fit well with today's discussion.

Where I work... took this on my way back from lunch,
somehow found it look nice from that angle and snap!

In fact, I forgot which verse that was but when I flipped my bible open, there it was... right in front of me (fortunately I placed a bookmark on that page after Sunday's sermon). Interestingly, 2 of my department mates (from different churches) also mentioned that the sermons they went to last week was also on the same verse... we laughed and concluded that God is trying to tell us something *GRIN*

Fulfilling Day
Was busy the whole of today... despite only being on the job for a week, I had somehow successfully coordinated my first mass volunteer placement today... an achievement! However, was making calls the whole day.

Was so tired that I decided that I will not stay and do OT today, left almost on-the-dot at five and made my way to Bishan Junction 8 to look for some nice worship songs compilation to buy. Managed to get q good compilation (though it did not have the songs that I was looking for), 3 CDs for $13, great deal!

My "good deal" worship songs compilation

The "You-are-so-different-and-abnormal" Look
Was on my way home when I met my hearing and speech-impaired colleague at the bus-stop. We both communicated with each other using our handphones and at the corner of my eye, I realized that there was this lady who kept staring at us... I think this is the kind of reality that people with disability have to live with... people constantly staring at them as if they are some special, or worse, abnormal people...

Simialrly, someone sitting next to us in the bus also kept staring at us... After a while, I come to realize that I wanted to let this person know that I am not the one with speech-impairment but soon found myself to be berated myself for even thinking this way: "How come you!"

Hahaha... my colleague told me that I look cute when I work... wonder why is that so le (I can't possibly see myself when I work right)? Maybe because I always very clumsy one la... falling here, tripping there, dropping this and that...

Fake? Or Just that I have let go?
Called my ex-colleague up because I received a missed call from her but then my ex-head picked up the call. I struggled for a while and wondered how I should proceed (after all, it is no secret that we had our differences at work). As usual, she greeted me with such great enthusiam (as if we are like old friends), I returned the greeting and told her where I am working now. Deep inside me I was thinking, am I just being fake or it is just that I have already let go. Well, indeed I am still angry with her when I thought of all the things that had happened prior to my resignation but then somehow the anger is no longer that strong since I am no longer a staff there; no point being so upset about it. I just hope I am not being fake since I detest people being ingenuine, don't want to be like these people.

Good News!
Looks like I do not need to buy a new handphone yet! Miraculously, my handphone is working well again. Just as well... this phone is good enough... has a camera that can take photos for my blog and a FM radio... Maybe it malfunctioned yesterday because it got wet the day before when I came home drenched... maybe not dry liaoz...

Tussling with Technology

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Today's just not my day... have been doing battle with technology the moment I stepped into office...

Firstly, my office printer failed me; whatever I printed came out crumpled and I ended up with toner everywhere on my table and hands...

Then my handphone failed me; whenever anyone calls me, the other person can hear me but I can't hear them (unless I switch on the loudspeaker, which literally turns my handphone into a walkie talkie). Anyway, I somehow has decided that it is time for me to change my handphone...

In the past, you will not find me even considering to buy a phone with camera and radio but ever since I used my sister's old handphone with radio and camera, I somehow became "gi-an" le, want to buy one with camera (so I can take pictures for my blog) and radio (so I can listen to radio when bored). I searched around the net for a sub-$200 phone (yes, I am still quite stingy when it comes to buying phone, can't imagine spending more than $300 buying a phone, most of the features of which I seldom will use). Laid my eyes on the Sony Ericsson K700i... nice hor?



One of the more stylo-mylo ones that has mp3 player, radio, bluetooth and camera (though resolution not very high but should be enough for blog) and costs $198, may just buy it... but there's this nagging thought that goes:

"why spend so much money to buy a phone? see if your old phone can repair or not la?"

Nevermind, see when I free can go shopping...

Learnt how to sign "Good Morning" today from my colleague but then learnt from another friend that the closing date for sign language lesson has passed... guess I have to wait...

Good Morning: http://www.aslpro.com/phrases/general/Goodmorning.swf
Goodbye: http://www.aslpro.com/phrases/general/Goodbye.swf

OK, good night!

It Rained, and It Rained and It Rained...

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Today was really a wet wet day; it was almost raining the whole day...

Leading a God-Centered Life
When I stepped out of my house to make my way to service, it was still bright and sunny. Little did I know that when I exited Pasir Ris station, it was pouring heavily (and I do not have an umbrella with me since I did not anticipate the rain).... was eventually stuck outside Downtown East; had no choice but to wait till the rain stopped since the way to the church was not sheltered. So near yet so far... and to make things worst, I am already running late for service.

Waited for some 15 minutes before a friend appeared with an umbrella. We both waited for another friend who was on the bus on the opposite side of the road. Again, so near yet so far, we can literally see her in the bus but then it was stuck in the jam. Miraculously, it stopped raining after my friend alighted from the bus and we quickly made our way to church... we were even saying cheekily "someone must have prayed for the rain to stop".

Jam Jam...

Anwyay, today's sermon is the last one on the "Burnout to Balance" series and today's topic was on "How to Simplify (Life)".

Do Not Worry (Matthew 6:25-33)

25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?

28 "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Anyway, the focus for verse 33 should be on "seek his kingdom and righteousness" and not on "and all these things will be given to you"; this should not be misquoted and misinterpreted; we shouldn't be seeking the kingdom of God and his righteousness just becasue we want our paryers answered.

We were challenged to be (completely) humble and gentle and confess our sin of pride, doing what God would want us to do that would make a difference. This really does simplify matters doesn't it? Anyway, was asked by the pastor to think about one thing that God would want us to do; one thing came to mind: to salvage a hurt friendship.

Surprisingly, this came to mind because I was suddenly thinking about the hurt friendship on my way to church. I prayed and asked God for wisdom and courage to do that but confessed that I am lost and know not what to do (since I felt hurt too) or whether this is what God wants me to do. I do not know whether it is a sign but then the next worship song we sang is one which that friend has played before in his car... I did eventually took the courage to make the first step and messaged him a picture "have a nice day" sms. He didn't reply until late this evening, the tone seems to be hostile and suspicious but yet I sensed a bit of depressed feeling. I don't blame him coz I was the one who withdrew from the friendship in the first place. I will leave it in the hands of God.

I bought 4 copies of last week's sermon on "purpose-driven life" and shall be sharing and giving these to my friends whom I felt would benefit from it (well I had) :)

Reminded of a Hurt Relationship
I had mentioned that I am happier now but all of a sudden, I was reminded about my hurt friendship with that friend who "was beginning to hate me" yesterday.

You see, both this friend and me are supposed to be in another friend's wedding "band of brothers" but because our friendship has soured, I have pulled out of it. However, it seems that the prospective bride did not know about it and spoke to me as if I am still a "brother". I eventually called her prospective husband to remind him that I am no longer a "brother" but feel extremely bad that I am putting him in a spot but what has to be done needs to be done, or else there will be unhappiness during his wedding, something I do not want to see.

I seemed to have successfully suppressed this negative feeling until now. It is really coming back to haunt me again.

It Never Did Stop
The rain just went on and on the whole day... and so did my mouth... don't know what is wrong with me this weekend, so talkative... anyway, in the end, had to walk for 10 mins in rain as I made my way home... hope I don't fall sick...

Wet Wet Pavement


Wet Wet Watch

Some More New Favourite Worship Songs!

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Worship Hands by jschutt

I Just Want To Be Where You Are
Artist - Don Moen

Verse 1:
I just want to be where You are,
dwelling daily in Your presence
I don't want to worship from afar,
draw me near to where You are

Verse 2:
I just want to be where You are,
in Your dwelling place forever
Take me to the place where You are,
I just want to be with You

Chorus:
I want to be where You are,
dwelling in Your presence
Feasting at Your table,
surrounded by Your glory
In Your presence,
that's where I always want to be
I just want to be,
I just want to be with You

Verse 3:
I just want to be where You are,
to enter boldly in Your presence
I don't want to worship from afar,
draw me near to where You are

Coda:
Oh, my God,
You are my strength and my song
And when I'm in Your presence
Though I'm weak You're always strong

(Repeat Verses 1 and 2)

Ending:
I just want to be
I just want to be with You

Lover of my Heart

All I want is to see Your face
All I need is a moment of grace
It's in You that I have the faith
To stand up and be strong

Cause I know I'm no longer bound
It's in You that I have found
Peace of mind
Freedom from my sin
and the power to love and forgive

I want to walk with You everyday of my life
to talk with You in the good and the strife,
You're my Friend, You're my Father,
for all time
Nothing can keep us apart
You're the lover of my heart

Power of Your Love

Verse 1:
Lord I come to You
Let my heart be changed
Renewed
Flowing from the grace
that I found in You.

Lord I've come to see
the weaknesses in me
will be stripped away
by the pow'r Your love.

Chorus:
Hold me close
let Your love surround me
bring me near
draw me to your side
and as I wait
I'll rise up like the eagle
and I will sore with You
Your spirit leads me on
by the power of Your love.

Verse 2:
Lord unveal my eyes
let me see You face to face
the knowledge of Your love
as you live in me.

Lord renew my mind
as Your will unfolds in my life
in living everyday
by the power of Your love.

Repeat Chorus

Are you game?

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men by v_g

Just came back from settlers' cafe after a whole evening of gaming with a group of my JC friends. Most came with the exception of a couple who won't able to join us. One even took the opportunity to carry out his "terrorist" attack by delivering his "red bomb". As usual, the place is jammed pack (fortunately I called in the morning to make reservations), guess more people are coming to know of this place and we were almost deafened by all the laughter and talking at the top of our voices.

Anyway, I was extremely active and talkative today, dunno what's gotten into me... Had a great evening playing games with my friends, spending some 4 hours there, playing...

I did quite well with taboo but at one point got quite annoyed with this girl who keeps targetting me and wanting me to be out of the game (and another actually helped to spy at my cards and annouced it)... did keep reminding myself not to take the game so seriously. Still had great fun...