Planning for 2008

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Forward 2008; My Spiritual Resolutions
2008 has began and in the past few days, I have been reflecting upon 2007 and yes, I had my equal share of bad things as well as good things and blessings. Now having took some time to reflect about how my 2007 isn't all that bad, it would be a good time to look forward at 2008 and frankly, there is a kind of excitement with what 2008 brings. Perhaps, new years are like that; it gives people a sense of being able to start afresh and a "second chance" of trying their hand at setting things right... so I am pretty hopeful of quite a few things for the new year. So far, my spiritual resolution is as follows:

1. Quiet Time - to be disciplined in my quiet time in the morning so I can continue to hear from God and lead my cell and to fulfill His will for me and the cell and to minister
2. Worship - I am hoping to be able to resume taking up guitar again so I can help lead worship since our cell is lacking worship people now... hope I can overcome the pains of learning guitar
   
3. Fellowship - To grow in fellowship with my members and be available for them when they need me. This may mean that I may need to take some time to meet up with members individually and that is something I need to overcome
4. Thanksgiving - I will continue to give thanks so as to be aware of how real God is in my life and to realise how blessed I had been; rather than focusing on the negatives all the time
5. Ministry - (i) to be focused on cell ministry for this year and (ii) learn to increase spiritual ownership in cell through delegation, (iii) to continue to minister to people God brings into my life and (iv) challenge members to grow spiritually and lastly, to grow cell to membership of 10 healthy growing members by end 2008
6. Prayer - to pray for my loved ones and every cell member by name every morning
7. Discipleship - To attend at least 1 Christian Education (CE) course this year
8. Missions - If funds and time permits, one mission trip

Something's Brewing?
On Friday, I did sit my cell members down to reflect upon 2007 and to give thanks and close 2007. Next week, I will try to see how I can get everyone (with whoever I have left in cell, the 5 of us) to tie down the focus for the year. Anyway, I thank God for how cell turned out on Friday. Yes, I am kind of upset that only 5 turned up but then I also thank God for every single one of them.

I have mentioned that I seem to sense from God that He is doing something different with this cell but I am not really sure whether it is God's calling for me or my cell. If indeed it is a cell's calling then, it would make sense why this transition is taking place because there needed to be a suitable culture to minister to these people and the old culture may not be suitable. Whether the calling is for me or cell, I feel that God is asking to reach out to three group of people... it has become clear that over the last few months the kind of people God had been sending my way; the backslided, broken and misled. In addition, there is also something which seems to indicate to me that some of these people will not stay because my cell may serve like a petrol kiosk, refilling people and refreshing them for their journey; some may choose to stay while some may not but nonetheless, the cell will still be an impact in their spiritual journey, being a turning point for some of them. (Picture "Fuel 2" by topfer)

Coming from a backslided background, I kind of have burden for people who have backslided and God had also placed the burden in me to minister to the heart-brokened and misled; giving me the ability to not be judgmental and turn them away. I guess that would be the part which might be the part about my ministry not being easy; the possibility of being rejected by them. And maybe God had been preparing me all these while with the circumstances I had gone through. A couple of days ago, I was asking for God's confirmation about this calling and as I flipped through the bible, my eyes came to Jeremiah 51 which spoke of asking Israel to prepare for battle (so is there going to be a spiritual battle of "snatching" these souls from the devil?) and then Nehemiah 1 which spoke of rebuilding Jerusalem (rebuilding cell). Today, I have asked for confirmation and flipped to Jeremiah 1 on the anointing of Jeremiah and God asking him not to be afraid:

Jeremiah 1:6-8
"Ah, Sovereign Lord," I said, "I do not know how to speak, I am only a child." But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 1:17-19
"Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them. 18 Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand against the whole land—against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests and the people of the land. 19 They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

You see, I am all OK that God had spoken about spiritual warfare, about not being afraid, about how He is with me, but then if you know Jeremiah, you know he did not have an easy job and it was a tough ministry. Well, that worries me... But the thing that bothers me is that I am still not sure if indeed God is calling me and/or my cell for this ministry. Did ask everyone to go back to pray about it and we will discuss cell's direction next week. I do not want to misread God.

Encouraging Weekend
I really thank God for a encouraging weekend. Firstly, we had a dinner appointment with our Zone Pastor (ZP) on Saturday with 4 other leaders and 2 AOs. At first, I was a little uncomfortable because the introverted me was just sitting there like a block of wood, all quiet. Then, later on in the night, our ZP asked for everyone to share about their experience leading cell in 2007. For once, I got to hear how other cell leaders also have struggles, some same and some different from me. I have come to realise that I am not alone. And when I later also heard about what our AOs and ZP had to deal with, it also encouraged me abit; knowing that I am not alone. It was also a bit touching as I heard my AO share that he is so appreciative his leaders stayed with him and continue to have the heart to serve, though I am still afraid of his task-orientedness sometimes.

At cell on Friday, I also thank God when two members gave thanks to God for bringing them to this cell. Frankly, I had all along felt that my cell is in a mess but then to hear this was a little shocking... But then, it was a kind of affirmation how God has a plan for this cell because it was really exciting to see how God is using this cell, seeing people who have been searching for church and cell has chosen to settle in. I really pray and hope that this cell will minister and help them to grow spiritually.

Today, I also thank God for a friend coming to church. Have been praying for this friend and it was really great seeing this friend back again. I also thank God for wonderful fellowship I had today... I had woke up today feeling a little chirpy and decided that I would like to gather a few people from cell together for lunch; something which we had not done for a long time. In the end, although only 3 (including my sister) came along with another cell, it was a good time of catching up with one of the new members to my cell. It was just amazing how the chance just came when everybody seemed to congregate at another table in the hawker centre, leaving me time to talk to this new member who is rather quiet. It was also amazing seeing how he opened up and shared... thank God for chance to open up to one another. Then, after the lunch, I also had a chance to further fellowship with another two friends from another cell. I do not know what was wrong with me but then I talked a lot today and was less uptight. Anyway, I thank God again for another blessed fellowship, just like the dinner with other cell leaders and our ZP yesterday night, as we shared and talked. I do not know whether I have spoken the right thing but then I trusted God worked through the session and I just hoped I had been able to share with them what God had wanted me to say.

Others
OK, some miscellaneous stuff... on Friday, I was informed by my boss that NCSS will be coming to audit our organisation, following all the recent scandals and saga about mismanagement of charities. Frankly, I trust my organisation and trust it will do well in the audit because I had seen the leadership and people at work; a group of people who are passionate about their jobs and who are focused on the care of beneficiaries but then I do not hope to hear any bad news. Then, boss also shared that volunteer management will also be audited which got me a little jittery. Well, I have been doing my best and do not have anything to hide but then the thought of being audited is nerve-wrecking. Then, as if that wasn't nerve-wrecking enough, my AO SMSed me on Friday morning say that our Senior Pastor would like to visit cells and asked what time we are meeting and where. Wow, my heart nearly jumped out but thank God in the end he visited another cell.

Also went around and bought my sister a digital camera... Sponsored about 80% of the cost of a Canon Ixus 860 IS as her Christmas present... just a way of showing my appreciation for how she had been such a wonderful sister to me so far :) I also thank God for a fulfilling week at work in the first work week of 2008. Through 3 days, I had been able to clear and follow-up with majority of my "piled up" emails from the time I was on leave, tidied my table, design yet another form and discovering exciting features in word which allowed tables to autonumber as you type, autocreate table headers as you document spills into a new page etc.

Also played another new game on Saturday, Stop Disasters! which is developed as a free game by UN/ISDR. My aim was to prepare a town/city against natural disasters such as floods, hurricanes, tsunami, earthquake and wild fires. What a sense of satisfaction when the disaster strikes and lives were saved. Here are my results for the @ http://www.stopdisastersgame.org/en/playgame.html. I won some, I failed some :)

More Thanksgiving

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OK, since in a mood for thanksgiving, why not more thanksgiving. Anyway, I thank God for:

1. A Smooth Day 1 @ Work: I kind of dread going back to work today because I am kind of worried how much work I need to follow-up with; am worried it is going to be a hectic and stressful day. True enough, I was greeted with more than a hundred new emails but thank God that not only did I managed to clear all the emails, do the necessary follow-up, handle volunteer calls and even cleared the mess and piles of paper on my table... really amazed how much was done and it didn't even feel hectic or stressful at all.
   
   
2. Fellowship with Volunteers - I thank God for a wonderful and interesting fellowship with my volunteers last Sunday. They had decided to have a picnic at Lower Pierce Reservoir and had invited me along. Firstly, I was great being invited by my volunteers to their fellowship (although I must admit I haven't really been catching up with them and going down to the centre to meet up with them, which made me feel a little guilty). Secondly, it was great fellowshipping with this group of passionate volunteers and thirdly, the whole fellowship was just filled with funny moments e.g.
   
   
   (a) Criminal Act @ our Picnic: how an ant beat us to the picnic; the moment we sat down, a big black ant came and made away with a crumb from the "shio bao", even before we started to dig into the food. It was kind of comical seeing the ant trying to make its way back while struggling to keep its balance with the big crumb.(b) Stalked: how we were later stalked by some monkeys who seemed to be very interested in our food; pretty soon, we packed up and went in search for another spot for our private picnic
   
   (c) Being Nomadic Again: how after eventually settling down near a pavilion, we saw the monkey strike another family's picnic and stole their KFC (wonder if the monkey took the crispy or the original one :D) and how we had to again pack up and leave when it started to drizzle
   
   (d) Eventually Settled Down: how we eventually settled under a pavilion in a small park at Jalan Leban and just chit-chatted away.
   
   
   
3. Annual Hotel Stayover - I thank God for a wonderful fellowship with my JC friends on New Year's Eve. Every year, we make it an effort to come together for fellowship and for a hotel stayover, chit-chatting and playing games while snacking away. This year's no different and it was just a wild time playing wii, fellowshipping, snacking away and laughing at one another. Just at about countdown time, we all tuned in to Channelnewsasia to watch the countdown and the fireworks. However, it did feel a bit weird seeing the fireworks while the news ticker at the bottom of the screen showed bad news such as bombings and deaths etc.
   
   Though I must admit that I was a little disappointed that in the end, most went back home and only a couple stayed over, I still thank God for the wonderful fellowship. It was also a wonderful feeling the next morning, having breakfast at a quiet Mac at Marine Parade, chit-chatting with a friend and taking in the strong comforting morning breeze.
   
   
4. God's Affirmation on Cell Purpose? - I do not know if it is God's affirmation but then for a long time, I seem to have a feeling and sense that God had a different purpose for my cell; to reach out to the heart-brokened, backslided and misled and I had been asking God to confirm this given that cell seems to be in shambles now. I remember asking God to show me His purpose for the cell and as I opened up my bible, I came to Jeremiah 51 which talked about asking Israel to prepare for battle (in this case, is God asking me to prepare the cell for spiritual battle?) and then later, I came to Nehemiah which spoke about rebuilding Jerusalem (in this case, is God asking to rebuild cell?). Frankly, I still do not know.
   

I also give thanks for a friend who made it to church to join me for service on Sunday. I also thank God for discovering a website (Crossmap.Com) with very nice free Christian wallpapers. My favourite are the following:

Give Thanks

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OK, today's the last day of my annual break. Tomorrow's back to work; my first work day for 2008. Frankly, I do not really look forward to going back to work because I just do not know what awaits me at work after a long break like that. Though the break seemed to just have zoomed by so quickly and I could do with more rest, I nonetheless still thank God for being able to have this break and to also have this job. It's a wonderful feeling being able to remain home today even though it is the first work day for 2008 for most people. Maybe that's why I had taken leave today, so I can rest one more day and rejoin the fast-paced working life again one day later than everyone.

Nothing much happened today and I stayed home the whole day. I literally spent the whole day in front of my laptop playing different games and resting my hurting leg (yes, it still hurts). Anyway, it seems that this season seems to be on thanksgiving. Last Sunday's sermon wasn't fantastic, but one thing that struck me is how blessed I am despite all the bad things that I lament about. Elder Freddy Boey reminded us, we can really thank God for life because our life circumstances here in Singapore is relatively better, with life expectancy of about 78-80 years old compared to some other countries with life expectancy as low as 39 years old. So I give thanks to God for my life (though I will most probably complain and lament very soon again). Then, I chanced upon a few other games which have kept me busy today and set me thinking more about my blessed life:

Ayiti: The Cost of Life - Playing Ayiti has helped me realise how difficult a life others are living, having to make ends meet and provide for their families. In this simple (but yet meaningful) game, you are given 4 years to help the Guinard family survive, get educated while remaining healthy. And somehow, it was an easy sight seeing members of the family die because of poverty and having to work hard and yet being denied medical treatment when they are sick. Visit the game site at http://ayiti.newzcrew.org/ayitiunicef/.

Global Conflicts Palestine: I think the whole year of reading the Old Testament has somewhat made me a little interested in the present Middle East conflict, with roots from the biblical past. And as I played the demo for the game, I started to see how the Middle East conflict is something which is really a tough tussle. In the game, you play a freelance journalist who will be assigned to cover different assignments, interview the people and put together a newspaper article for the assignment. In the demo, I was to cover the story about life at the checkpoint and as I played the game, I began to see the complexity of the whole conflict; causing pains on both sides of the border and yet, trust is a big issue because you will never know who you can trust, and whether the pregnant lady who fainted at the checkpoint queue is indeed a terrorist with a bomb. An interesting game which helps people understand the agony of the conflict on both sides as you interview people and take down quotes for your article. Visit the game site at http://www.globalconflicts.eu/.

Peacemaker - While Global Conflicts Palestine dealt with understanding the Middle East conflict from the eyes of a journalist "on the ground", another "serious game" called Peacemaker deals with the Middle East conflict from a macro perspective. You play either the Prime Minister of Israel or the President of Palestine and you try to bring peace to the region, making decisions such as clamping down on extremist leaders, removing walls, adding checkpoints, increasing trade restrictions while dealing with world, UN leaders. You will soon find it not easy to bring peace when attacks, shootings, smuggling of weapons, suicide bombings keep taking place. But trust me, in the end, if you succeed and peace comes, it is quite an emotional sight to see people who once fought one another coming together once again. While other games promote violence, war and destruction, this game promotes peace. Visit the game site at http://www.peacemakergame.com.

The morale of the story is that, playing these games and with the sermon last Sunday, I have come to realise how much I have been blessed with and how much I can give thanks to God for. Decided to get everyone to do a listing of thanksgiving items for 2007 and a listing of spiritual resolutions for 2008 for cell meeting this week.

Looking Back, Looking Forth

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Today is the last day of 2007 and soon, I will be off to the hotel for my annual hotel stayover fellowship with a few JC friends; we always meet up on New Year's eve for a hotel stayover to just fellowship, play some games and just relax. Looking forward to it!

OK, here's the report card for 2007, vis-a-vis the resolutions I made last year for 2007:

1. Leading a healthy lifestyle - Well, I did start my healthy lifestyle in 2007 and I actually went on weekly jogs with my colleagues. However, it kind of fizzled out towards the end of the year with my reservist training and also my leg ache. Now, I think I am even heavier than I was in 2006; I can literally feel that I am fatter liaoz. Really hope my leg will get better soon so I can start my exercise routine again. So, result: Not-that-successful
2. Leading a balanced lifestyle - OK, I made a resolution to lead a more balanced lifestyle and to have more time away from work and more time for myself. The good news is that I have chosen to step down from my CCA; from one professional association. I have also started to spend less time at work, trying not to stay late at work and I have somewhat succeeded in that. However, I also found myself rather occupied with cell ministry. So, result: Somewhat-successful
3. Being Punctual for Work - Result: Not successful
4. Spot a New Look - Result: Not successful
   
5. Growing Spiritually - Result: Successful
6. Being Humble - Result: Somewhat-successful
7. Being Financially Prudent - Well, I still seem to be spending a bit on taxi but then with the recent sharp increase in cab fares, I am already taking less taxi. Result: Somewhat-successful

So, not that bad after all la, though it can be better.

My friend has told me a few days ago that my blog was getting rather "frustratingly depressing" and I couldn't agree more... I have realised that from November onwards, my blog entries seem to be rather depressing. So, I had wanted to end 2007 on a relatively lighter note and also reflect upon how God had worked in 2007 and give thanks for them. It's a good time to also reflect upon the blessings and to just realise how it is not altogether bad at all. Looking through my blog, I give thanks to God for...

1. ... friends He had placed around me; people who have made a big difference in my life and who have always been there for me when I needed them. Thank you my dear friends, all of you out there
2. ... my sister for always being there to encourage me on spiritually and also helping me with stuff at home when I am lazy. I really appreciate her (though I am silent about it)
3. ... for my wonderful colleagues who are ever so fun and nice to be with
4. ... for guarding my working relationships with my colleagues so much so there are no major conflicts so far
5. ... watching over my dad's health; that despite doctor suspecting his kidney would fail and that he would have lymphoma, so far everything is OK and he seems to be keeping well
6. ... my life and being reminded at service yesterday how blessed I am to be born in Singapore and also be blessed with so many things we can take for granted. Yes, I still do have my worries and struggles, but then when I do look at lives outside Singapore; at people who live in places with low life expectancy and where they do not get to enjoy the luxuries we enjoy and take for granted here in Singapore, I come to realise I am still blessed
7. ... my work which I so enjoy and how God has blessed my hands at my work ministry despite being totally new to volunteer resources management. I still thank God for bringing me to my current organisation. So far, things are well in my work ministry and I have received lots of affirmation from various people, but I can only give glory to God for blessing the ministry because I know it is not me. I also thank God for helping me to cope at work; looking back at blog entries, it is just amazing how God has helped me to pull through tough projects and also helped "moderated" my workload during times when I faced struggles.
   
8. ... for affirmations I have received in my area of work with job offers, requests to do sharing/presentations about volunteer resources management and also write articles for publications. I also thank God for the affirmation I have received with my appraisal and bonus.
9. ... for working with my hurt with the "friend who was beginning to hate me". It has been 2 years now but I thank God for working with that hurt and addressing it through the New Life Encounter retreat in October so much so I have more or less closed that chapter of my life
10. ... for my spiritual growth through the whole year though it has been tough. However, one thing for sure is that I have grown through the year and with OTC, I have come to learn more about the character of God. As pointed out by my Area Overseer, it seems that I am also able to hear from God rather clearly and I thank God for that.
    
11. ... for Jerry the giant bear in my office; a bear that is so cute and adorable that everyone wants to hug whenever they pass by my office
12. ... for inspiration people in my life including a brother-in-christ at work who is using his giftings for God's work and passionate volunteers etc
13. ... for spiritual growth of my members and people who I care for
14. ... for giving me the burden for other's spiritual growth and walk; for God's calling for me to reach out to the broken-hearted, backslided and misled though it is a tough ministry
15. ... for this blog, which has helped me to deal with some of my negative emotions, see how God has been faithful and always working and encourage others
    
16. ... for God always working with me in cell ministry; always helping me in my cell preparation and speaking to me week after week through cell preparation and always sending "inspirations" through timely devotions, resources, conversations and people etc
17. ... for God constantly being patient with me and despite me wanting to step down almost 5 times now, He had always send people to come to minister to me, encourage me, speak to me through sermons, circumstances, worship songs, SMSes etc. It's just amazing how God works and sometimes even minister through people you least expect to, movies, NS, diary and even cartoon character like Jet-Jet :)
18. ... all the people God has sent to encourage me on spiritually
19. ... for the mission trip which has shown me how much God is in control and when He preserved my life
20. ... for the spiritual retreat with my colleague and the encouragement from 2 Timothy 2
21. ... for always ministering through me to different people throughout the year; using my experiences to help understand what they are going through and helping me to say the things you want me to say
    
22. ... for spiritual confrontations from the brother-in-christ who gave me a "kick in my butt", about biblical soundness of some devotions and also about hanging on to God's calling while the moulding is taking place.