Survived Chinese New Year

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Surviving CNY
It's Day 3 of CNY and yeah, managed to survive through it all!! Frankly, I don't really enjoy Chinese New Year because the older I get, the more paisay I am to receive ang bao from my relatives, many of whom I don't really keep in touch with, except during Chinese New Year. So you can imagine the embarrassment when I extend my hand to receive the ang bao and there seems this be this unspoken conversation going on, something to the effect "hope this is the last year I am giving you ang pao ah; hope you will get attached and get married soon". Then, there is also always another comment which will make it to the tops of my Chinese New Year chart of questions. So right after #1: "So when are you getting married?" comes question #2 "aiyoh, do you exercise, you seems to have put on weight". Then sometimes, people would hint hint how me and my sister should start taking care of the household and let my parents take a rest, but how much do they understand about the situation at home and that it is not that I do not want my parents to retire and rest? Frankly, I would really like to save myself from all the embarrassment and maybe not visit them. But then, to suddenly stop visiting would also be seen as disrespect, sigh headache ah. But I do thank God for the holiday and rest; for once, having time to myself, playing some computer games, rather than on others again, doing stuff for ministry, work or for my association.

Ah Long Pte Ltd
Anyway, just came back from watching the movie, Ah Long Pte Ltd, with my friend. I must say that I have always been rather supportive of local movies and it is really wonderful to see how local productions are slowly rising up to standard. There are indeed a few local productions which I have truly enjoyed, including Home Run, and this is yet another movie I will add to my list of favourites. Expecting another movie with crude slapstick humour and/or one which features a copycat plot from other successful movies, Ah Long Pte Ltd kept me laughing throughout the movie with it witty sense of humour. I have also enjoyed the creativity of the show (e.g. playing soccer with durian), good acting on the part of the actors (there were a few rather touching and thought provoking scenes) and finally the ability of local production to succeed in filming a "gangster" movie with such gusto.



You Need to Go Through the Mill First
Perhaps, one of the small reasons why I also like the movie is also because it is another one of those movie which reminds us how sometimes God has a plan for us but then first we need to go through the mill to prepare us for it. I cannot remember the exact words but then this was mentioned twice in the movie. I needed to hear it because sometimes I can get rather down again when things don't turn out well in ministry. I do not know why but then the thought that I am not a good leader always plague me (though I know it is not healthy) but yet I can see how God has been working through the whole situation and ministering through me. But still, I sometimes can never escape feeling quite disappointed with myself as a leader again. Just like how a couple of weeks ago, I had a visitor who visited cell. Then, as we had discussion about how God has answered our prayer, one of my quieter members wanted to share when suddenly the visitor interrupted. Rather than asking for her to stop and allow for my cell member to continue, I actually let her go on and on and when I returned to my member, he said "nope, I wasn't going to share". Made me feel so rotten for being insensitive for allowing that to happen.

God STILL has His Plans for You
And also several times, I feel how KM has been a wonderful person who I thank God for sending to help me with my ministry. It became clear how she came along with a purpose to gel the people together and it is true that whenever she is not around, there is always an awkwardness. But it is a different case when she is around, there is this friendliness in the air which melts all awkwardness. And, she is also always sensitive enough to pick up what visitors and members may need. So one hand, I thank God for sending such an angel to our cell to help rebuild this cell but on the other hand, I can see how she could have been a better leader than me. Then, it didn't help that I still don't seem to be close to my members and always struggle with calling them to chat. Similarly, when I sms, I only get a reply from some people but not all. All these am beginning to get at me but I will keep holding on to God's promise because I believe He has a plan for my ministry, just as how I saw how He used me recently to reach out to a former cell member. It's just amazing how God has brought us together again using a bible verse sent through SMS. I was sending SMS to my cell members and just felt led to send it to him too, despite he has left the cell and he smsed back to tell me how it spoke to him. Then, we began meeting and I can see how God is working in his life to help him draw closure. I am just glad to be part of this plan. It's amazing how He continue to leads me through week after week in cell preparation. So back to the topic, I needed to hear about how God has His plans for us and how we sometimes need to go through the mill first to be prepared.

So, things have come to such a stage that there are just too many coincidences for it to be coincidences and I know God is working through it all. But one thing I really fear is feeling how I had been distanced from God and His plans whenever I am willful and naughty.

Taking Photos at 40th Storey
Today, also got some photography lessons from my friend. Prior to going to shop for a rice cooker for a couple friend and the movie, my friend suddenly had a idea to go up the top of a new block of flats in Toa Payoh to take some photos. And so I tagged along and wow was the view on 40th storey wonderful and it was also very windy. Though I have fear of heights, I soon forgotten about it once I started getting so much thrill from playing around with his SLR camera. Took some nice photos and enjoyed the great view. I have come to realise how much I like photography because I always find thrill in finding subjects and framing it to express life through pictures... so tempted to buy an SLR now though I will not. OK, managed to take a photo of the scenery with my handphone camera...

Not as nice as it would look if taken with a SLR but it just shows a nice view of what we saw.