I'm Hating It, I'm Loving It!

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It's day 3 of my in-camp training and I am starting to like in-camp training a little bit. Before this, I was kind of dreading going back for in-camp and after a rather unpleasant experience in camp on Monday morning, I kinda dragged myself back to camp on Tuesday. This is really the first time I am admist so many army personnel.

Nerve-Wrecking Just Thinking about It
I was kind of jittery because this is the first time I am serving my in-camp training in an army camp and also my first time donning the army uniform. I used to serve my full-time national service in Navy and the culture in a naval base is just so different from an army camp. I am just afraid that I do not know all the army protocols and decorum. Do I have to march when in camp? Do I have to salute when I see a higher-ranking personnel? Then, a few months ago, I received news that I needed to report in my uniform. It has been some time since I last donned my uniform. And even then, it was the Navy no.3 uniform but it has been some time. Now, I was being told that I am tagged under "Army" so I cannot obtain the navy uniform, which mean that I needed to get a whole new set of army uniform. So, I spent the last 2 weeks running about to get my uniform, get my rank sewed, my pants altered and my name tag made.

Then, there were other questions going through my mind: Where do I put the name tag, above the left or right pocket? Do I wear the gold or silver buckle belt? It was really nerve-wrecking having all these questions running through my mind and facing the uncertainty of going to a new and unfamiliar place, where people might be potentially more "on the ball" and stricter. On the other hand, work also worried me because I remember the last time I went for in-camp training for 2 weeks, I had to slogged for 2 months subsequently to clear the work that has piled up during that time.

Unpleasant In-Pro
OK, made an effort to wake up real early on Monday morning so I won't be late reporting to camp (no joke reporting late in army camp, don't wanna take chances). But in the end, still ended up taking a cab to camp. The moment I entered the gate, I went up to the duty personnel to ask where do I change pass. He pointed me to the guard house. The next thing I know, there was this burly garang-looking encik who started to look at me (think my heart skipped a little). Then he shouted to the duty personnel "Have you checked properly?! Have you checked his handphone and stuff?!" The guard stared at me and I stared at him, both at a loss as to what to do.

Then, the encik started walking towards me and with a deep deep voice, he started to question me: "where is your head gear?" He wasn't really shouting but then his stern voice just made my heart beat faster. I did not know how to respond to him because I am just so blur about all these. Back in the navy camp, I did not have to wear a headgear whenever I was walking about the camp. Anyway, he asked the guard to take down my name and told me that he wanted to see me with my headgear the next day. I was thinking, cham la! I don't have headgear and also do not know what colour to get since this is the first time I am in an army camp. I don't even know whether I have been posted to army or am still in navy. And throughout all this while, I kept addressing him "Sir" (the same stupid mistake I made when I was "ganjiong" when I was first enlisted into my unit; calling a SSG "Sir"). Anyway, thank God he seemed a little bit friendlier later on as I explained that I used to be from the navy and he pointed me to the block I am supposed to report to. As I walked down the road, there was fear and I didn't even know whether I can cross the road or what if I meet another officer? All the while, I am keeping my ears pricked up in case another officer calls out to me again. Anyway, you would have guess how much I feared going back through the gate, in case I see that encik again. I even wildly entertained the thought that maybe I just stay in so I don't have to go through that gate and see him. But thank God, the past 2 days, I made an effort to report earlier and so far I did not see him.

Thank God for my NS Posting
Well, call me weak or whatever but then being in unfamiliar places and especially in an army camp just scares me. As I walked on, I just can't help but reflect and thank God for sending me to Navy and for giving me my current PES status. I always think that, had I been posted to Basic Military Training, how different will I be today and whether I would have survived the training? Have heard of cases of people who could not take the scolding and training and committed suicide. Don't even know if I would have become part of the statistics if I had been posted otherwise. But still I thank God for my posting to navy and for sending nice people around me during NS.

I'm Loving It
I find it funny to say but then I find that I am kind of starting to love this in-camp training. Firstly, it is a good break from work (although I know that work may be piling as I speak but this year, God has also sent me a colleague to cover me in my absence). Secondly, I was starting to get real excited about my new role in NS, assisting in providing military psychology support to troops during peacetime and as and when needed. This was definitely more exciting than what I have been doing for In-Camp the last two times. But then, being posted to an army camp really made me wonder whether I am now officially under army. Then later, the LTC spoke about IPPT which again almost made my heart skipped a beat. It is only later that I found out that I am still posted to navy but am tagging on to the army training and I do not have to take IPPT. Thank God! In fact, today they were even talking about the possibility of deploying us on board a ship maybe during one of the operation to provide military psychological support. This thrilled me but also worries me because I have never been on board a ship for extended length of time as yet.

Thirdly, I would say that it is kind of refreshing experience to be in an army camp. Having been there for three days and having observed and also been briefed about how we should conduct ourselves in the camp, I was more confident about making my way around camp. For example, I have learnt that I needed to put my headgear on when walking about in camp. Fourthly, I find it enjoyable just talking to my fellow NS-mates. Someone has ever wondered how we have been chosen for this role and noticed that everyone around seemed to be of a certain profile; not having any tattoos, English-speaking etc. Anyway, it was great hanging out with these guys who hold various portfolio outside. There is a pastor, a journalist, a few teachers, another social worker, banker etc. Started to get warmed up to people and even some of them are officers, I just realised they are not as garang as I thought they will be. In fact, there seems to be this bond because all of us wanted the same thing: to have a smooth in-camp training. Hahaha, in fact, some even advocated for early release and I thank God that so far, we had been granted early release twice. Today, I even went out with a few of my NS mates to a nearby place for kopi and chit-chat.

Fifthly, I enjoy the training so far because I feel that I was learning some stuff (even though I have already learnt some of the stuff like listening skills, research skills in my uni days). Tomorrow, we will be covering critical incident stress management. Sixthly, you may find it funny that I am saying this, but then I am feeling somewhat relieved to find that everyone I have encountered so far, excluding the encik who initially gave me the scare, are all very nice people. I had expected to face officers and personnel who would be very stern but then to the contrary, the regular major, LTC, CPTs and SGTs we met these few days are all very nice people.

Will God Change Me Too?
Anyway, was somewhat encouraged by what I heard from my NS mate who is a pastor. We were walking back and I happen to hear him telling another person how before accepting Christ he was this introverted and shy person. But frankly, I would not have imagined it because he is so different now. Anyway that's all I heard but I do hope that I can be like him and overcome my introvertedness. Or maybe God has His plans to use me with my introvertedness?