My Sincere Prayers...

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Wah, today very blessed ah. Had both my lunch and dinner in hotels, like some rich man hahaha... Actually, today had to break fast for a day because my organisation was having a fundraising luncheon and I was to be a table host and in the evening, two of my CG members were getting married, so again have hotel buffet.

Thank You Lord for this God-focused Organisation
Today, I had the opportunity to again play table host at my organisation's fundraising luncheon. As I sat back to watch the corporate video and hear the speeches, I really feel proud to be part of this organisation.

Having joined the organisation for the past close to two years, I have come to realise how different my organisation is. Despite all the developments in the social service sector; all the scandals about people misappropriating funds etc, I can still see how our organisation remains focused on our mission and on doing God's work with the needy and underprivileged. Day in and day out, I still see passionate people at work, people who have been called to the job and who are doing their best for the organisation; people who are very clear that whatever they are doing should be focused on God and the beneficiaries. Of course there are also black sheeps but then so far from what I can see, most people are focused and the management is also one which earns my respect; constantly staying focused to caring for beneficiaries and keeping the organisation in check to ensure that resources are used responsibly.

I will always remember how we were given a "talking to" by our big boss earlier this year about replacing equipments just because it has been used for x number of years. He maintained that if possible, we should always look to see if it is indeed more cost effective to have it repaired or to get a new one, rather than to always assume getting a new one is cheaper. I really do hope that the organisation will continue to remain focused.

And thank God that as I sat at the table to play host to 7 other people I do not know, everything went relatively well and I was exceptionally extroverted today. I enjoyed sharing with their about my work and they seem to have a good impression of our organisation. Some of them even went on to affirm that they have chosen to support our organisation because they can see how focused on God we are and they trust us with their donations.

I really thank God for all His provisions for the organisation (including this luncheon which was sponsored) and sincerely pray that our organisation will always be under good leadership that would keep us focused on God and not anything else.

Cell's Growing!
Right after coming back from the fundraising luncheon, I came back to office and was greeted by a long email from a member of my CG. She had invited her friend to the outreach event tomorrow and was requesting for prayers from the other members. She shared about how God sends people into our lives for us to reach out to, just like how God has constantly sent this friend into her life almost once every 5 years with an opportunity to pray and minister to. She went on to encourage people to step out and not be afraid to ask because she herself has realised how God has a plan, is in control and in His timing will lead people to Him, saying that we may sometimes be the only Christian in other's lives.

You can't imagine the joy I have when I saw the email!! One, I had never expected this member to share because she is very quiet in CG but then to receive this encouraging email is really a pleasant surprise! Two, it seems that people are growing spiritually. So happy! Of course, I pray for God to continue to guide and grow the CG and that we will all stay focused on Him :)

Grinning from Ear to Ear Again
Yup, two of my CG members are married and I am so happy! I am always happy seeing my friends getting married and again, I was grinning from ear to ear as I see them exchanging their vows and rings. So happy!

I pray to God to watch over their marriage and bless them with bliss and joy. May it be a God-honouring union.

Acting Happy
Amidst all the joy and cheer, I saw someone who I did not expect to meet; the friend "who was beginning to hate me". After the previous encounter, I did not ever think that I will meet him again. But then, saw him at my CG members' wedding today. Somehow, he saw me and I saw him but we just don't look each another in the eye. Then I realised that occasionally, I would steal a glance in his direction and try to "act" happy amidst my CG friends. I do not know why I do that but then maybe I just want him to know that I do not need his friendship. Sounds childish but then this was how I found myself to be behaving the whole night. Maybe somewhere deep down inside, I still can't forget how disappointed I was in the friendship.

I pray for God to take away this bitterness and although I do not think I will ever trust him enough to accept him as a friend, I just hope this bitterness don't stay.

Things I Cannot Understand
These two days, there are things that I do not understand.

I do not understand why yesterday, my friend (the one who rejected his birthday gift earlier) was so easily worked up when a chicken rice hawker "discriminated" him. We had went to order a packet of chicken rice for an old friend who we were visiting because he fractured his ankle. My friend had requested for drumstick but then the hawker told him there is no more drumstick. Then seconds later, another customer came and asked for drumstick and the hawker said OK. He immediately reacted and left the stall, leaving me to collect the rice. Then, as we made our way to our friend's house, he kept lamenting and I can see he was fuming mad. Seriously, I find that, yes, it is annoying that something like that has to happen but then to be reacting in such a way seems to be an overstatement. He told me that he had recently encountered a similar incident when he tried to find a transformer toy. Well fair, enough but then I still feel it is kind of over-reacting. I did tell him to cool it because a small incident like that is not worth ruining his night with but he just seemed to disturbed by it he went back home to blog about it.

Another thing I don't understand is why is it I am so different when I am with different groups of people. When at work, I can sometimes easily be functionally extroverted (like today) but when with some friends, I am just so quiet and boring and literally have very little to talk about. It happened yesterday when I met an old friend who I used to be classmates with and the whole walk to the MRT seemed so quiet and I did not know what to say. So awkward! The same with my CG, that even though there is occasional laughter and talking, I sometimes find myself at a loss for words when interacting with them. But yet, to some friends like my "couple friend", I am OK. Funny.

And also today, I saw the girl "I was taking a liking to" but then we seldom talk. It is puzzling how sometimes we can talk so much over the phone and sms but when face-to-face, there is so little to talk about. Also, today she did something which "shocked" me and I really do not know what to make of it, whether she is just too innocent or what. Don't know to be angry or amused.

I pray for God to help me make sense of all these and help me address these struggles.