Lesson on Love

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Other than my body beocming weary from all the work and had decided to go on strike... something else I am struggling with seems to be that concerning "love". No, I am not in love but then have been challenged to "love" people who I find it hard to dispense love to.

for us 3 by spiz

The Challenge of Dispensing Love
I have this friend who I really appreciates but again and again, this friend of mine keep upsetting me. In fact, the very mention of this friend makes me want to gripe again but everytime I gripe, I feel guilty that I might be painting this friend of mine in a bad light.

Just as I am struggling with this issue of dispensing "love" to this friend... a sermon on being a more "loving person" is preached last Sunday. For cell group yesterday, this topic was again discussed. Today, as I opened my blog... this verse from Romans 12:9-13 stared at me:

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality."

OK, cognitively, I understand that I need to love and am also aware how God, who loved us so much, sent His only son to come down to be persecuted, tortured, nailed to the cross and die for us; just so we may be redeemed and be near God once again, through Jesus Christ. But, emotionally, it is a real struggle. Even though so, I do know this friend is going through a rough patch and I do continue to sincerely pray for patience and for breakthrough with this friend and for blessings for this dear friend.

The Choice to Not Love
At yesterday's cell, we broke into small groups to share about our struggle/struggles with loving and to pray for each other. I shared about this struggle I was currently going through. As my partner was sharing, I sensed initial reluctance as this partner of mine mentioned that he does not love or hate anyone so he has no struggles. But after a few minutes of personal sharing, I realized that we both seem to have similar bad experiences of being hurt by people so much so we are more conservative when it comes to dispensing love... A semi-conscious choice was made to not dspense love so easily lest we be hurt again... It is almost like God is sending me someone to minister to and encourage and at the same time encourage myself. At the end of the cell meeting, my cell leader approached me to discuss about setting up small prayer pairs to help each other in their spiritual walk and she was thinking of pairing me with this brother-in-christ who I partnered with earlier. Yes, I do pray that God will be able to use me abundantly to minister to this brother and even to myself.

Simply Pray
by nighthawk7

Genuine Prayer
Ended the sharing session by praying for this "brother" of mine and for the first time, I prayed a prayer without worrying about what to say next. This prayer is so different from a few weeks ago when I was tasked to help co-lead worship; I prayed mechanically, thinking about the "rights" words to say in the "right" way at the "right" time. That prayer became a deliberately and conscious effort to pray, so much so I wasn't really even focusing on what I was praying but had wanted to get the prayer over and done with. Last night's pray just came rather "smoothly" though there were also moments I struggled a bit still.