6Cs for Friendship

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Learnt quite a bit from sermon today on developing lasting friendship, so thought of documenting that lesson here and sharing it.

What the Bible says about Friendships
God created man for relationships and fellowships just like how he created both Adam and Eve together. In fact, the 10 commandments are all on relationships: the first 4 on the relationship between God and man and the next 6 on relationships between man.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
⁹ Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
¹⁰ If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

What We should Remember about Friendships
1. I must be Committed -

Proverbs 18:24
²⁴ A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

It makes no sense to have many acquaintances but no friends who you can have a genuine relationship with. To have committed friends, we must first be committed. The focus is on quality and not quantity.

2. I must be Considerate -

Proverbs 17:9
⁹ He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

There will be times when friends will make mistakes and sin against another. The key here is to "cover over an offense" or to accept and forgive the wrongdoing. It means not "rubbing it in" or "snowballing" but does not mean not being accountable. There still needs to be accountability to what has been done.

3. I must be Confidential -

Proverbs 11:13
¹³ A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.

Proverbs 16:28
²⁸ A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.

How do we treat what has been shared with us? It takes a lot of trust for a friend to share with us and how do we treat this trust?

4. I must be Candid -

Proverbs 27:5-6
⁵ Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
⁶ Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Proverbs 27:9
⁹ Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.

Proverbs
14 In the multitude of counselors there is safety

Friends as safe advisors. All of us have blindspots and someone who cares will help us see those blindspots, which will help better us. (a) Compliment in public but correct in private, (b) never rebuke a friend until you have proven that you are also open to rebuke from them (give and receive criticisms), (c) correct them when they are up not when they are down; when they are feeling good, not when they are feeling bad. There is always a time for everything.

5. I must be Constructive -

Proverbs 27:17
As irons sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 12:26
A righteous man chooses his companions carefully

Be positive, be a "cheerleader" but also choose your company wisely as you will become like the people you hang out with.

6. I must be Consistent -

Proverbs 17:17
¹⁷ A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

A friend may not agree with you but will consistently be there for you when needed. The care and love is genuine.

Friend or Foe?
Who are considered friends? Ask yourself how would you respond to a person's victory and successes? Do you rejoice with them or do you feel that they do not deserve it more than you or become envious of them?

An unfriendly christian is an insult and bad testimony of God.

What a Friend we have in Jesus

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there.

Valuable lessons for me. Amen.