I'm Almost Back in Action

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My Health
I do realise I am not blogging as much as before... maybe it's because of the pain in the leg that has caused me to be rather restless and tired recently... But then, I thank God that things seem to be changing for the better and I am just so happy.

For once on Friday, after my appointment with the doctor and physiotherapist in Tan Tock Seng, I seem to be walking normally again, without the pain. Not sure if it is the pain-killers that helped or the physio but then it is just pure exhilarating to be able to walk almost as usual again. I remember telling myself that I will want to go and celebrate once I recover because it has been a troubling and tiring few months walking around with the pain. Makes me realise how sometimes we tend to take things for granted and only begin to really appreciate it when we are on the verge of losing it; for me it is health and I really thank God from the bottom of my heart that I am able to walk relatively well again, really can't wait for it to fully recover.

Well, the preliminary diagnosis is disc prolapse and according to the doctor, one of the spinal disc in my back is most probably protruding out, touching a nerve, causing pain in the whole right leg. Whatever it is, it is just such great relief to find the cause of the problem (no more "you-are-overweight-and-you-need-to-cut-down-your-weight" diagnosis). And I also really thank God for always blessing my visits to the hospitals so much so it doesn't ever get frustrating, just like my visit to the A&E. In fact, everything went so well and fast and I am even thankful that the hospital managed to last minute slot me into a slot with the physiotherapist on the same day and I did not even have to wait long. This really saved me a trip back to the hospital because I will need to return one time for MRI and another time to see the doctor again.

Then, I was placed on traction, which looks like this modern "torture" machine that stretches your body to loosen your back. According to my therapist, my back is very tensed and stiff and I need to do some stretching exercises prescribed by her to loosen my back, while trying to build up my muscles to hold the spine. That visit itself to the doctors, physiotherapist and pharmacy cost me about $100 and I had another $400+ pending for an upcoming MRI. Wow, boy is it expensive and now I really understand why in the past when I worked as a medical social worker, my patients hated MRI because it is costly. And the medicine given is also supposed to be expensive painkillers. When I went to the pharmacy to collect the medicine, the pharmacist asked me if I would like to take the whole 2 months prescription or take bit of it. Thinking it would not be too costly for a few tablets, I asked how much it would be and to my surprise, the medicine itself would have cost me $100+ had I not decided to go for half the prescription instead. This really made me wonder how the poor in our society could afford a trip to the hospital. But I do thank God that even though the visit did cost me quite a bomb, I am still thankful that I am to cope financially. Anyway, can't wait for my leg to recover soon.

Performance & Cell
Then, I also thank God for many other things, including how my performance at the staff appreciation dinner and cell last week went well. Last Friday, I was supposed to participate in a skit at my staff appreciation dinner and I do not even know what came over me but I actually said yes to helping out in the skit. I really thank God because knowing myself, I know I would be nervous to be performing in front of 400+ guests but to the contrary, I did not feel that nervous at all and in the end, I kind of had fun and before I know it, the skit is over. In the meantime, KM helped to take over cell with my sister and I heard that it was a good session too. Thank God.

Friendship with KM Seemingly Back on Track
As for my friendship with KM, I am glad things seem to be getting back on track and we are talking on the phone more again. Frankly, I am not hoping for anything more than friendship and would like to keep it the way it is rather than jeopardize our friendship. Yes, I admit that what happened between us does make me a little apprehensive about expressing my feelings to someone in future but then at least things are OK now. It's just getting far too confusing for me and I do not want to second-guess anymore. For example, last Friday, I sent her a SMS giving her my prayer request for the evening and before I know it, she appeared in my office, all the way from the other end of the island to deliver a bottle of jelly, 3 sachets of coffee and a CD. I do know she also dropped by her association which is located near my office but really, although her appearance at my office does make me wonder whether there is chance of a relationship developing, I just do not wish to have too high an expectations any more. I have decided to keep things the way it is; maybe this is just how she treat her friends.

Thanksgiving @ Work
I also thank God for many things which has went well, including how I managed to within a few hours, put together a Microsoft access database for a missionary friend and given my knowledge of Microsoft Access, it's just amazing how I managed to put together a database for her within just a few hours. I also thank God for blessing me in my work ministry and recently, I did hear from my boss that there might be an upgrade of my position (which means more work :D) and I have been helping to review my Job Description over the past few days. I do not know what to expect but then I do hope I will not let my organisation down and hope to be able to put in my best, although I seem to be rather demotivated at work recently, maybe due to my health. I am also all excited about an upcoming project at work; something which is done every year and every department will come together to prepare food to raise fund within ourselves to bless a charity institution in another country. It's really a unique experience as each department come together to plan their businesses and prepare food for the fundraising event which will last for 2 months this year. Same thing this year, I volunteered myself to do up the marketing campaign for my department; designing the e-flyers. Another month of eating!

I'm Coming to Singapore!!
Something did happen at work which did caused me a bit of frenzy recently. I had someone who contacted me from overseas a few months ago, expressing interest in coming over to Singapore to volunteer. I did respond to him saying that we do not recruit overseas volunteers as we do not have schemes to support overseas volunteers. And I thought that it was case closed. However, he emailed again and again and mentioned that he will be coming over to meet and discuss with me. I did not take notice of it because I did not think he will come over. But last week, I suddenly received an email from him saying that he has confirmed his flight details and will be coming over, asking me if I can fetch him from the airport since he does not know anyone in Singapore. This got me quite worried because:

• I was thinking whether I have in anyway misled him to think that there is opportunities to volunteer in Singapore
• he mentioned he has not arranged for any accomodations and also mentioned that he is not rich
• there is a possibility that he might not be genuine and I may end up having to take charge of his accomodations etc
• I may not have any assignments for him and I do not want to disappoint him and have him waste his trip down

He did share with me how he had prayed about it and seemed to be led to come to Singapore. He seem to have great faith that things will work out but on one hand, the logical part of me was saying within me "you can't just come over without really preparing" but there is also another part in me which says "what if it is really true that he is led to Singapore? how come he seems to have great faith but not myself?" I know I should not take responsibility for other's actions but then I just could not help but feel a bit worried about the whole situation. I reviewed the situation with a few bosses and the final conclusion is to decline the person, even though he has gotten the air ticket out of his own accord. So, in the end, I had to just be assertive and say "no" through email to him and I do hope this is the end of the case; that he will not suddenly appear in my office next week. I guess we do not want to disappoint people and also have to guard against people who have other motives e.g. citing volunteerism for trying to get out of their country etc. I don't feel very good about the whole situation but then hope it will just be case closed. This taught me a lesson that I need to be assertive next time.

Thanksgiving for Ministry
Ministry wise, I thank God for many things falling into place. It has been a few months since I last wanted to step down and thank God that things seem to be getting better. I can see how God is blessing the cell and continuing to bring people to the cell, even though there has been no active outreach work. I know God's plan for the cell to reach out to those with baggages, those who have backslided and those who are misled and I can see the people God bringing to the cell. I thank God each time I see my new members seemingly to have settled down in cell and growing. I thank God for always guiding me in my preparation for cell and also guiding the cell discussion. Nowadays, I am less uptight about facilitating cell discussion, knowing that God is partnering my ministry. I thank God for a successful fellowship even last Sunday, wrapping popiah at a cell members' house and also playing board games. I also thank God for bringing people to me to minister to and how I can see Him working in their lives too, bringing a timely word, just as He had did to me for so many times, to them and ministering to them.

I thank God how cell turned out yesterday and everything just clicked together. I was to have 2 visitors in cell and was quite worried about how things will turn out but turned out that the session went wonderfully well and people shared. In fact, I thank God how some of my members were even taking the bold step of praying aloud, sharing during discussion and even helping to make visitors feel at home. The worship songs chosen were also all so meaningful and I could sense how the whole worship session, though done acapella style, seemed to have been meaningful to so many, ministering to them. I was amazed how I had prayed for revelation about the topic which I was to cover and God sent me two devotional materials through my sister, which clicked very well with the discussion topic, one from 1 Feb 2008 and one from the devotional material "Our Daily Bread" on the day of the discussion itself. In fact, this has happened so many times already. I thank God that I was confident and the right words just seemed to come at the right time. And I also thank God for bringing my Area Overseer to cell because it seems that he always seem to come at the right time when I need someone rather extroverted to break the ice. With KM going back to her home in another country for 2 weeks, it was down to the introverted people and I can see how God has once and again brought back my AO whenever it is necessary. In fact, my AO was sharing that he did not think of coming to our cell that night but came anyway. I thank God for fellowship at the end of cell where everybody seem to talk to one another naturally, something which I have not seen for months. And finally, I thank God for not only giving me devotional materials but also giving me revelations from His word, always learning more about Him to pass on to the cell. All glory goes to God because as someone had said it, "it's funny how so many coincidences happen when we pray" and there comes a time when you know it is the Lord working. In fact, I pray that I will continue to be able to learn, experience Him and desire Him and not one day lose focus and focus on myself more than Him. I am also very concerned about a fellow cell leader and pray for God to watch over him and help him to tide over his current struggles in ministry. I thank God for opportunity to talk to one of his members who is embroiled in a conflict situation and for not only giving me the right words to say (many of the things I know I will not say) and also reinforcing it with devotional materials the following day. Everything is just so awesome.