Tired, Worried, Pain, Unmotivated, Dry...

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Things have been going rather well recently...

• Work-wise, things have been manageable and there may be some exciting developments at work
  
• ECA-wise, I have managed to achieve quite a bit recently including putting together a feature-rich web community (even though I am still amazed how things turned out nicely in the end)
• Ministry-wise, I am getting more visitors at cell.

So, I should be happy right?

To the contrary, I do not understand why despite having rested for a whole week, despite having a manageable workload recently, I just don't feel right... I am feeling very tired everyday and do not seem to be able to get enough rest; always tired.

Then at work, I started to find myself rather unmotivated to do anything and there are pockets of time when I can find myself doing nothing or choosing to do things slowly. It is really an irony; on one hand, I feel unmotivated to do anything but on the other hand I feel horribly guilty that I am "slacking away", taking things easy while others seem so busy. It's a complicated feeling. In fact, I am starting to feel guilty drawing a salary but yet working at such a pace, sometimes even doing some of my ECA stuff during little pockets of time when I just wanted to do something different.

Then, spiritually I am also starting to feel that I seem to be starting my spiritual dryness again and frankly, I am really worried too.

Maybe it is due to all the things that have happened recently and also my health; worrying whether things are OK and whether I need surgery. My leg started to hurt quite a bit today again and I was limping again.

I am not very sure why I am like that? Is it because I am not feeling well and am worried about my health and also a few other stuff? Is it because I am starting to lose interest at work? Is it because I am tired both at work and ministry or burnt out? Or is it because it is just normal that this period of time is a lull period at work? I don't know, I don't know.