They Need Christ, I Need Christ

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I began the day today with a rather heavy heart. Somehow, I do not feel that the session I had with my friend last night was good because I was mainly talking to him at the cognitive level, trying to help him feel better about the death of this person who he did not even know well. In fact, I felt that I might have gained more out of the session than him, seeing how God really brings people together for a season for a reason.

Then this morning, I received a sms from the sister-in-christ who has made me lose my cool. In fact, it has been quite some time since I last kept in touch with her. Anyway, she messaged me again this morning complaining about how our church has been inconsiderate and, from what I sensed from her, rather insincere about helping her; putting work on a higher priority than her. Then, in an attempt to trying to explore with her whether this is the case or has she been misreading into things, I replied to her message asking her if indeed that has been communicated to her or whether maybe she has misunderstood things?

She then snapped back at me, calling me not understanding, saying that I sound a bit defensive and asked me to stop messaging her, period. But then, she continued to message me and later even message to tell me that I should communicate like a friend, showing trust and empathy. Frankly, I am rather affected by her messages and that has somehow ruined my morning and day. I started to realise how I am starting to build up some unforgiveness again. Yes, I am angry with the message, I am angry with her, maybe also partly because of someone who have had a mental condition and who have hurt me. I can feel the unforgiveness building up again and true enough, I kinda of reverted back to my old self, lack of confidence etc. I can feel it.

Then, morning devotion came and at the devotion, someone read the lyrics to a song and this ministered to me:

They Need Christ
There are people living in the world out there…
They need you, they need me, they need Christ;
There are children crying and no one to care…
They need you, they need me, they need Christ.
And they’ll go on hurting in the world out there,
And they’ll go on dying, drowning in despair,
And they’ll go on crying, that’s unless we care:
They need you, they need me, they need Christ.

There are people living who would rather die…
They need you, they need me, they need Christ;
And their Christian neighbours simply pass them by…
They need you, they need me, they need Christ.
There are people sitting by a silent phone,
People cold and hungry, people left alone,
Suicides for reasons that remain unknown:
They need you, they need me, they need Christ.

There’s the prostitute and there’s the prisoner too…
They need you, they need me, they need Christ;
There’s the ‘skid row’ fella who has lost a shoe…
They need you, they need me, they need Christ.
The compulsive gambler dreaming of his yacht,
And the lad that’s stealing just to get his ‘shot’,
And the kid that’s pregnant and pretends she’s not:
They need you, they need me, they need Christ.

There are runaways who want a place to go…
They need you, they need me, they need Christ;
There are alcoholics who don’t seem to know…
They need you, they need me, they need Christ;
There are God-less people who have lost their way,
And they need God’s love but they’re afraid to say.
If we close our eyes perhaps they’ll go away
Without you, without me, without Christ;

They need you, they need me, they need Christ.
Copyright © John Gowans

The more I listen to the lyrics, the more I realised how I might have been unkind and un-Christ-like in the way I handled the matter. And I thought I sensed that the calling for my cell seems to be to reach out to the "unreachables" and here, as cell leader, being unkind and unaccepting to people around me. I then realise that what began as unforgiveness of this sister-in-christ has somewhat turned into unforgiveness of myself for behaving this way. And it was ironic that during department devotion this week, I was sharing about how wise and kind words and how God speaks to us and through us.

Now the part about it is to forgive this sister-in-christ and also forgive myself. How I wish that would be easy to do.