Choices Choice Choices

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Just as I prepare for cell group this week, I realised that the "theme" for this week seems to be about "choices", or at least it seems I tend to focus on this theme this week. Starting from Saturday:

• On last Saturday, my friend talked to me about his career choices
  
• On Sunday, the sermon was on the book of Judges and Ruth in the Old Testament and the focus was on choices, on how the Israelites once and again went into a vicious cycle of crying to the Lord to be delivered, then forsaking the Lord. On the contrast, we also read about Ruth in the book of Ruth, who despite being a non-Jew, made a decision to follow her mother-in-law after the death of her husband and later becoming part of the lineage of Jesus Christ.
  
• On Wednesday, I met a friend who, despite his physical limitation, decided to make a choice to serve others and take up social work as a career. Even though that means having to take up a degree course all over again and having to forsake his pay during the time he comes for his attachment
  
• On Thursday, I has a prospective volunteer who sometimes calls me to say how he has decided to live on and not let the devil tempt him to suicide. He has some struggles and have suicide ideations once in a while, but he made the conscious choice to want to live on despite the persecution he faces.
  
• Perhaps, the most personal one is the choice which has some sort of resulted in a cold war between me and my sister.

In a nutshell, she has found a job working with autistic children and she seems to be all excited about it (thank God for her being able to find a job which she seems to like). But that would mean also she coming back to me almost every night, having things to share and questions to ask. Now, here's the "duh!" part about me... have been quite stressed up with work and cell group so sometimes when I reach home, I needed some space to rest. So on Wednesday, I was blogging (as a form ot having some time to myself to rest and relfect), but she came again and again to talk and ask questions here and there, which made made quite irritated. In the end, I jokingly told her to stop bothering me and go talk to the wall. On hindsight, ouch, that must have heard. OK, I made a silly choice.

I don't know how true this is but then I feel that relationship nowadays are so fragile... I mean, everyone is just so stressed up and uptight and sometimes, they just want to be left alone; they flare up so easily with other people and often are quick to think that people are out to make life difficult for them. OK, back to my ordeal with my sister. I didn't think much about it and went back to blogging. The next day morning, she had wanted to call me over for something, but instead of talking, she used her index finger to try to call me over (something like how angry people will sometimes put one hand on their waist and use the other hand to beckon you over). I got so mad and told her that she is very rude in doing that, frankly, I felt quite degraded to be called over this way, as if I am a pet or what? Again, I thought nothing of it and left for work.

That night, I came home and realised that she is very quiet; something must be wrong because I hate cold wars and I just can sense one taking place. Just this morning, I made a choice to rather let the matter rest, to confront it and asked her why she seem so upset? She refused to answer me. This really made me feel even more irritated. I left the house for work and again made the choice to sms her. In the sms, I apologised for my behaviour the previous day, explaining that I am very stressed and sometimes want some personal space and also shared how upset I was by the way she gestured me over yesterday morning. Those few moments after I sent the sms were so intense that everytime a sms came, I would wonder if it is from her and what she would say. Thank God, things are OK now and she apologised through sms as well, also explaining herself. "So we are quits?" came the next message from her. Yes, we are quits!

Hahaha, well, I made a stupid choice to ignore her on Wednesday night and she made a unpleasant choice when she used a rude gesture to call me over on Thursday morning. But one thing I learnt from the whole thing is that, sometimes, we make the wrong choice, but we have the choice to right the wrong. It is up to us whether we want to do it. I am much happier now than yesterday night and this morning (I just hate conflicts!). So glad my little cold war with my sister is over now... minor issue but good reminder. We are making hundreds and thousand of choices each day; from which path to take to work, what time to wake up, what to say to people, what to wear, where to eat etc, so what are the choices you are making today? How are they affecting your life and other's life?

Just the perfect reflection for tonight's cell meeting on choices...