When Saying No Sometimes...

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One of my friends have ever commented that I have problem saying "no" and I can't agree more... In NS, I was called the "Yes-Man" who would say OK to everything my boss asked me to do... well not a very nice name to have but the reality of it is that, I do indeed have a problem saying "no". Just at the time I thought my problem with "no" is not such a big issue, I am being confronted with two dilemmas. (Image "No" by Nathan Gibbs)

When Saying "No" Sometimes is so Difficult I must thank God for blessing me with a good job and also for job offers. Never in all my career have I received job offers until now. Recently, another friend has called to ask me if I would like to help him out in a new programme he is trying to set up; a first-of-its-kind programme which he is working with a government body. At first, I thought he had meant whether I can help him as a volunteer but it soon became clear to me that he meant as a staff. He was offering me to take charge of the programme. to work on it with him and ultimately take charge of the staff under the programme. See, that's where the problem lies. Immediately, I knew that it is going to be a "no" because I enjoy my job here. I was thinking about it and there is just no "push" factors to push me away from my current job:

• Firstly, I enjoy the work and the autonomy my boss has given to me in developing the volunteer programme here.
  
• Secondly, the people here are real wonderful and I just can't bear to leave them
• Thirdly, my boss has been treating me very well and I do not wish to disappoint her by leaving. Several times as we talked, she mentioned that hopefully I am not thinking of leaving so I can stay and grow with the organisation
• Fourthly, I sensed I was called to this place by God and can see how much He had blessed my work. I have also grown spiritually significantly here and just can't give this up
• Fifthly, my organisation has lots of opportunities to grow and also for me to move back into social work should I be keen
• Sixthly, I have invested a lot of effort into my volunteer programme and it would be a shame to leave it now. It would also not be fair and I would like to stay to see it take shape
  

Even though I had not listed them out, but I knew deep in my heart all the factors that are keeping me and which would make me say "no" to the offer. But I agreed to think it over when my friend told me to, not wanting to reject my friend outright. Then today, I made a decision to tell him "no" and told him that I am happy at my work and there is just no push factor to make me leave. But he seem like he would not take "no" for an answer and requested that I go back to think about it again... sigh, on hindsight, the offer does sound interesting and it does sound like a significant leap upwards in my career progression. Tempting as it is, it still seem not strong enough to pull me over. But one thing remains clear, it seems that as much as my interest is in doing direct social work... my skills and even the things that I am doing always has to do with developing systems and programmes... sighh... don't know to be happy or sad...

When Saying "No" Sometimes Makes me feel Horrible
In February this year, I have made a decision to step down as a council member from a professional association I was helping out in. I was getting a bit burnt out having to deal with too many things at a time and decided to just step down. Just yesterday, I met up with my successor who has kindly agreed to take over my portfolio. As I went through the minutes with him and shared with him the work I did with my committee, I just came to realise how much there is to do. Somehow, I felt horrible inside for saying "no" and now he has to take the buck and for not doing better when I was in office. OK, as stitch giver reminds me, I need to sometimes know how to draw lines... On hindsight, I can just console myself that as long as I did my best, I should not take the responsibility of the work for other people now that I have handed over.