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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

 

Reflections of Melaka Mission Trip

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Thinking back, I really thank God for the trip and have come to realize how much I had been blessed through the trip. Even though it may sound cliché, but on hindsight, as I am sitting here typing this reflection, I have come to realize how God is in control all the time and I would say that this is the greatest take away for me.

Philippains 4:13 (NIV)
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Mark 10: 27 (NIV)
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."

God’s Timing & Plans
I recall a year ago when I was doing cell planning for 2009 and I remember putting down, as one of the goals for the cell, that our cell would take up a mission trip together. Frankly, at that time, I wasn’t much hopeful that this would happen but nonetheless, I remember telling myself it is a good goal to work towards anyway and I do long to be able to anchor a mission trip together with my cell.

Fast forward almost a year later and I found myself prompted to ask my cell if they wanted to anchor a mission trip together. Initially, only 3 indicated interest and chances of it happening seemed so slim. I recall sharing with my fiancée, how I look forward to be able to join the trip. But as we are scheduled to go for marriage preparation course in church, we would only end on 27 Sep, which also happens to be the last day of missions. But, I thank God for working things out and soon, we were told that our marriage preparation course would end a week earlier instead. So that would mean that both me and KM would be able to join the other 3 trippers for the mission trip. Soon, CS, our Area Overseer, also told us that he would like to join us for the trip too, bringing the number of trippers up to 6 persons. And so we have a mission team! Thinking back, it is amazing how God has worked things out, because the early conclusion of the marriage preparation has availed me, KM and also CS (who is helping as a facilitator for the marriage preparation course). At the same time, the KAIROS course has also ended on the Saturday before the trip, a timely “graduation” as KM and TR (who helped out as KAIROS table hosts) and JY, were “launched” into missions just a few days later. All in all, it is amazing to note the timeliness of everything.

Anxiety Brews…
The pre-trip preparation was somewhat nerve-wrecking because we did not know what to expect. With only 2 out of the 6 trippers having experience with mission, and with less than two weeks left to the trip following the missions briefing, we started off feeling lost and not knowing what to do. And the thought of 6 of us setting foot onto unfamiliar grounds and meeting people we have yet to meet was enough to bring about much anxiety for me.

Spiritual Warfare
I recall the few weeks prior to the trip, the team started to meet with lots of challenges. For me, I was suddenly entering into the peak period of my work and there was a sudden increase in stress at work, so much so I wasn’t sleeping well at night and was even getting worried about going to work. Soon, I also learnt that my dad was not feeling well and was developing high fever and we had to rush him to the Accidents and Emergency and was warded for pneumonia. Along the way to A&E, my mum also got injured when she tried to get into the taxi and she accidentally knocked her face against the corner of the door. But thank God she is OK. Soon, I also came down with a bad case of flu which plagued me for days up till the eve of the trip. On my way back from the doctor’s, I had also suffered a rather deep cut on my finger as I dug for the key to my house. Things came to a point where I was so overwhelmed by stress at work, at having to deal with my father’s hospitalization, my illness and preparing for the mission trip, that I began to wonder how I am going to cope with it all. I remember turning to God and praying for Him to help me.

One night, I remember being rudely awakened by a nightmare which seemed so real. I had dreamt of a little girl but there is this evilness that I can sense in her and she held on tightly to my arm and threatened me to forsake God. I woke up in cold sweat and panting. This was the first time I had experienced something like this and as I laid there gasping, I could feel a physical pain where the girl had held on to me. The nightmare had been so real that fear began to grip me and I had to do something. I remember bringing out my bible and started to read and meditate on Psalm 23. Soon after, I felt the peace of God returning and I was able to fall back into sleep without much problem.

By this time, I was feeling overwhelmed but the more it got difficult for me, the more I was convinced that I needed to engage in spiritual warfare and pray. I remember one of our cell members commenting in an email that the fact that we are facing so much spiritual attacks does goes to show that we are most probably on the right track. Soon, I have also learnt about my sister having to deal with exhaustion both at work and with preparing for the children’s programme for the mission and there was generally quite a bit of anxiety among the trippers and people were also falling sick, even up to the eve of the trip.

As a team, we decided to fast and pray for the trip and also engaged fellow colleagues, friends, loved ones and cell members as prayer warriors to pray along with us. We were blessed when many of them willingly agreed to pray along for us. Frankly, I felt that we would not have been able to survive the whole trip without our prayer warriors and to that we give thanks to God for; we give thanks for every single one of them. The trip went smoothly because it was bathed in prayer. Talking about the power of prayer!

The Many Willing Helping Hands
As we slowly approached the day of the mission trip, I continue to see how God continued to journey with us and blessed us. It was amazing seeing how much He has helped us to achieve within a short period of time of 12 days; amidst all the stresses and anxiety and work, we had managed to meet up to practice Malay praise and worship songs, bought all the necessary logistics and work on the props for the Sunday school. It was also amazing how God has brought people into our midst to help prepare us for the trip, including ER and LY, who came to share with us their experience in previous trips and taught us Malay praise and worship songs and children action songs. We also thank God for the many cell members who have came forward to help us, including, JS, in offering her creative skills and helping us to do up the giant worship song sheets; KL, EL and RC in helping us to do up the backdrop for the skit and cut up stickers for the children. Even though it seemed like a tight deadline to have everything done up, I thank God for unity and also for joy as we went about the shopping and doing the preparations. I thank God for protecting the relationships between all the brothers and sisters and how it seemed the preparations have also brought about much bonding between the trippers.

Dealing with Anxiety
Personally, I also thank God for how he ministered to me during this period. Throughout the whole period of preparation, I can see how the team members are all so focused on doing their best to ensure the success of the trip. I do not deny that this brought with it quite a bit anxiety and stress as we thought “there are so many things to do but yet so little time”. This is especially true for me because, call it occupational hazard, I am a person who is very particular about planning as I do extensive planning to ensure success in my role at work. So by this time, I was getting all edgy with so many things to do but yet having so little time to plan. We literally had to plan as we did our preparation. But throughout the preparation phase, I sensed from God through my quiet time, how we should not focus on the wrong things and ultimately, it is not about how well the things run but it is about how both we and the people we are ministering to are blessed. Things became more crystallized when I found myself in a situation where I had to share about what God has placed on my heart, to encourage one of our trippers about this. Talking about a steep learning curve! So, it’s amazing how God has first ministered to me, and then, as if to drive the point in, caused me to minister to another.

Throughout the preparation phase, I continued to seek God to give me His word so I can encourage our trippers. So, in my quiet time, He continued to speak to me through Isaiah 40:3, Isaiah 62:10 and Isaiah 40:10 and reminded me that all we need to do is to just focused on preparing the way for Him and for His people to come to Him and how we are to continue to trust in Him that He will strengthen us and help us.

Prepare the way for Him
Isaiah 40:3 (NIV)
A voice of one calling:
"In the desert prepare
the way for the LORD;
make straight in the wilderness
a highway for our God.

Prepare the way for His people to come to Him
Isaiah 62:10 (NIV)
Pass through, pass through the gates!
Prepare the way for the people.
Build up, build up the highway!
Remove the stones.
Raise a banner for the nations.

Continue to trust in God that He will be with us as we go forth
Isaiah 40:10 (NIV)
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

In fact, God continued to minister to me through His word and through people even throughout the trip. I recall that on the first day in Melaka, as we were doing some last minute shopping at the local shopping mall, we entered a Christian bookshop. There, my sister came up to me with a devotional book and pointed out to me how the devotional for the day and the day before was just so timely and appropriate; about not focusing on the wrong things but on worshipping God through what we do. That evening, we had a powerful time of worship, which I sensed further drove this point deep into the hearts of our trippers.

The Body of Christ; One Body Many Parts
I thank God for blessing the team with wisdom and for how each member of the team joyfully brought their giftings to bless one another. I thank God for using me and my skills in planning to put the trip together, though I have come to realize how my planning skills was of no use midway through the trip and realized I had to rely on my other members and God). I thank God for using my meticulousness in managing the mission fund. I thank God for sustaining me through His word, and as much as I was encouraged spiritually, I do hope that I had also been able to encourage the team spiritually too. I thank God for JY for her skills and experience in working with children and how this came in handy in planning the children’s programme for the trip as she willing offered her skills and experience. I thank God for TR for her desire to serve, for her supportive role she played in the team; always ready to serve in any way and also the insights she brings to the team. I thank God for CS for his ability to confidently drive us around, for being the fatherly figure thus reassuring us, for his ability to translate for us, for his extrovertedness in engaging the Orang Aslis, and also for his humor in bringing much light hearted moments to the trip. I also thank God for DG for the joy and enthusiasm he injects to the team and for his willingness to plan out the programme and also his quick-mindedness in responding to situations. I thank God for KM for her enthusiasm, joy, her support to me during the time of trip preparation, her quick-mindedness and her facilitation of the powerful time of worship on Friday evening which spoke into the hearts of the team and also in planning the worship for the trip and drafting out the mission trippers’ booklet. I also thank God for the various people He has placed to support us as well, including the many who supported us in our preparation and pray for us, including KL, who provided me assurance when he offered to be the contact person in Singapore should my parents need help and JSH and JM who graciously agreed to help facilitate cell in my absence. God made it very clear to me how he has given each and every one of us different giftings, experiences, skills and how, when we are willing, we complement one another and can achieve much in His ministry. In fact, this was really beyond what I could have imagined because in the early stages of planning, I was still concerned how we are going to pull off the trip when I realized we only had a small team, we did not really have the time to practice worshipping in Malay with the guitar and we might not have someone who could speak Malay. But God provided and showed us that as we set forth to do His work, He provides. And as the body of Christ is willing to be a part, things are achieved.

1 Corinthians 12:4-7, 14, 25-27 (NIV)
There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good… Now the body is not made up of one part but of many… so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

God’s Presence
I thank God for His presence with us throughout the trip, not only protecting us; granting us journey mercies, but even in ministering to us through a powerful time of worship on Friday, when the word came how we just needed to focus our attention on praising His name as we embarked on our projects starting the next day and not on anything else.

We thank God for his presence at Sungei Mering when we were caught by surprise and were asked to facilitate a children’s programme but yet without any plans. Nonetheless, we managed to pull together a whole programme and engaged the children. We just trust God and one another and sprung into action. And before we know it, we had managed to engage the children with action songs and the adults were finishing their sharing. By this point, I sensed God teaching me how I need to sometimes learn to rely on Him.

And I thank God for His presence with me on Sunday, as I stepped out to share my testimony with the Orang Asli. There was just a sense of peace and confidence as I faced the people, contrary to how I would feel when usually sharing in public and especially to a group of people I do not know. God gave me the words to speak and blessed my heart and gave me peace, that I found myself confidently sharing and even daring to interact a little with the locals as I shared.

A New Chapter
I also thank God for a successful marriage proposal during the trip. I had intended to propose to KM during the trip but until a few days before the trip, I was still undecided as to how I will propose as there were quite a few uncertainties I had to deal with. Nonetheless, I thank God for being able to get the proposal ring in time, for being able to be granted a day’s leave before the trip and how I managed to be sustained and finished the proposal photo slideshow in barely a few hours on Thursday early morning. I thank God for blessing me with a friend who agreed to lend me his portable DVD player and also for giving me the courage to propose. Surprisingly, at the trip, we kept seeing bridal studios, bridal cars, cakes, wedding confetti, which I believe gave me more assurance to propose to my fiancée. I also thank God for my team members giving us their blessings when they learnt that I had just proposed. I went to missions and entered a new chapter both in my life and my spiritual life.

Takeaways
I also thank God for the various takeaways I brought home with me:
  • Renewed Spiritual Fervor
    Throughout the trip, I am inspired by Pastor Joseph and his team. I have had the opportunity to chat with Pastor Joseph on Friday when we first met him. I have come to be encouraged by this man, who, despite the challenges faced in his ministry with the Orang Aslis (ranging from their indifference to disruptions from the police and authorities), he continued to hold on to his ministry for years; building rapport with the Orang Asli one by one, spanning his ministry over 17 kampungs over long distances. And yet, he has but a lean team of himself, his wife and 2 other helpers. It does make me ashamed of how I have come to lament and complain when faced with small challenges in ministry to just a small number of people, in blessed Singapore.

    It was also amazing seeing Pastor Joseph’s helpers worship the Lord on Sunday. As another of my trippers has remarked: “they have nothing to gain out of their ministry but yet they are putting in so much to serve the Lord”, reaching out to people who might reject them but yet holding on. As I saw his helpers worship and one of them worshipping in tears, I come to realize how each one of them must have a story behind them, an encounter with God, which motivates and sustains them. As for me, I am reminded again as we shared our testimonies on Friday evening, that I have a story too and a rather powerful encounter with God. But because I am rarely revisiting it nowadays, I seem might be slowly forgetting about how God is so real in my life. I need to continue to remember what the Lord has done in my life and am thinking that it might be good for me to revisit my story on an annual basis during my spiritual retreat while continuing to be aware of how real God is in my life every single day.

    Psalm 77:11-12 (NIV)
    I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.

  • “One-Truth-At-A-Time”
    Pastor Joseph also shared about his ministry principle of sharing one bible truth at a time to the Orang Asli. I guess it is a real reality check for me to take a step back sometimes in ministry and how sometimes packing too many truth into one sharing might not be helpful and I need to cater to varying levels of spiritual growth.

  • We are linked to one another to God
    During the trip, I had the chance to chat with Pastor Joseph and in the midst of talking, I had come to learn that he was classmates with an officer where I work. This officer is also the same one who persisted and shared Christ with him, bringing him to Christ. Talking about a small world! And now he is here, reaching out to, ministering to and blessing many others.

    Much later in the trip, I recall CS sharing how we are all part of God’s link in reaching out to His people; that we can choose to be a strong link, the weakest link or the missing link.

    2 Corinthians 5:17-20 (NIV)
    Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God.

    Even after I returned to work from mission trip, this continue to speak strongly to me when I heard my colleagues share how one of them shared her testimony during Alpha course the week before and as a result, someone who used to be resistant to receiving Christ, was touched and chose to receive Christ that very week. My colleague had shared that the pastor who approached her mentioned that he was prompted to ask her to share her testimony and how she, despite feeling her testimony is just a simple one, was also led by the Spirit to accept the invitation to share. And after she had shared, God used her testimony to touch the life of this lady who subsequently decided to accept Christ. Nothing is impossible for God.

  • Beware of cultural Assumption
    I have come to also realized how sometimes I would bring cultural assumptions into the missions field, just as how I nearly asked a boy who was doing some colouring to use orange for skin when I realized that their cultural understand of skin colour is dark brown. And God made each and every person they way they are, despite differences in skin colour, lifestyle, habits etc. I have learnt that I needed to be mindful of my cultural assumptions I bring into missions.

  • Breakthroughs
    I thank God for the breakthroughs in trip. At the beginning of the trip, I was feeling really lousy at not being able to engage the children and retreating again into my introvertedness. But as I reached the second project site at Sungei Mering, I remember telling myself that there is nothing to lose and I just needed to trust God. I did managed to break out of my negativity and became more engaged with the locals as we sang and danced to Malay praise songs.

    Similarly, I had initially also intended not to share my testimony because the Pastor was telling us on Saturday that we can choose what we wanted to share with the locals, either a testimony or a song item etc. But after hearing him share about his challenges with the Orang Asli and how he would like to bring them to a deeper level of worship of God; from worshipping God for the goodness they received, to worshipping God for His greatness, I decided to just trust God and hoped to share and encourage them. At that very moment, God placed in my heart a burden and it became far too difficult for me to say no to share.

    I was glad that I took the step of faith and could sense His peace upon me as I began to share my testimony with confidence on Sunday. Even though it was just a short version of my testimony, I trust God to be able to use it mightily according to His will.
Frankly, I can go on and on… but I just want to thank God for:
  • journey mercies and how despite plans and project sites were changed, we did not get lost and managed to always find our way to different places.
  • exposure to working with children on Saturday as we observed the our Malaysian brothers and sisters engage the children and how this has helped us to prepare ourselves for our second project at Sg Mering and also for Sunday School.
  • blessings over the trippers’ health and there was no major health problems during the trip, with the exception of me having a breakout of rashes on my neck, which cleared up soon.
  • friendly locals who welcomed us
  • unity and bonding not only within the team but also with Pastor Joseph and his team there. There was even a time where the team spontaneously burst out singing hymns as we made our way to Sunday service.
  • food credits for our hotel stay and so we had got to enjoyed a good sumptuous Japanese buffet on the evening of day 2.
  • energy and being able to sustain through the few days despite having little sleep with all the preparation the previous nights e.g. rehearsal for skit etc.
  • time for fellowship and a little eating and shopping on Sunday after finishing off with Sunday service.
  • touching me as I worshipped the Lord in the midst of people of a different culture, even though I did not understand them. It was amazing and awesome to see people of different tongues worshipping the Lord together. And I can’t imagine how it would be like on the day of Christ’s return when people of every nation and tongue worship and praise Him.
  • enough funds and how there is even remaining money from our fund.
  • the good rest I had at the trip, being away from all my work and challenges in Singapore.
God’s New Calling?
At the trip, it was heartening to see how some of the Orang Asli children’s dream is to become a pastor and I am really happy that after all the effort Pastor Joseph has put in his ministry, that things seems to become brighter. And I trust that God will use each and everyone of them according to His will, in both big and small ways to bring many others back to His kingdom.

However, even as we are on the topic of calling, the topic of “What’s Next?” seem to be surfacing in my life recently. Even though I have thought about going into pastoral ministry in the past but it was something which I have thought might only happen sometime in the far future. But as I left Global Leadership Summit a few days before the trip, I felt a strong discontentment and burden that more needed to be done to bring God’s people back to Him. During staff appraisal the next day, my boss also asked me about my calling and even though we talked about my work ministry and how she hoped that I would stay on, it did stir something in my heart to think about this. And the trip too has placed a burden in my heart as I saw how there is still so much to be done in the missions field. Even during the trip, someone has called me “Pastor” and while I can easily dismiss this as coincidence but could this, in the string of events be indicating a new calling?

In quiet time in the beginning of October, I have learnt from the Lord about “seeking the eternal” and how toil is meaningless:

Ecclesiastes 2:22-26 (NIV)
What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless. A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

At the recent leaders’ workshop with Mike Connell, someone has also spoke about seeing a big fat juicy red tomato bursting forth and about fruitfulness, as he prayed for me. I am really not sure if God has another calling for me. For a long time, I have said that God has called me to my current workplace and will work till He calls me to another calling. But has the calling come?

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