Learning Points of an Introverted Ministry Leader

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Maybe because I had been thinking about my testimony about my ministry recently, I found myself thinking suddenly yesterday morning about what I have learnt as an introverted ministry leader.

Frankly, there isn't much books out there which focuses on helping introverted leaders. There seem to be an abundance of books which focuses on "what you, as a leader, should do" versus "what principles you, as a leader, should know and have". I do not know how the books may have helped leaders but personally, the former had not helped me at all but rather made me feel more lousy about myself as I started to realise how far off I am from the picture of an ideal leader, as painted by these books. Then, I come to realise that the reason might lie in the fact that I am an (extremely) introverted leader and these books may not be the right ones for me. After all, if it has been stated in the bible (Ephesians 4:11-13) that

"It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ."

then, I believe that in the same way, God has intended to have leaders of varied personality types ministering to different people. God has different purposes for different leaders although it is at the end of the day, to build up the body of Christ, allow everyone to reach unity in faith and in knowing Christ, becoming mature and Christ-like followers. So why force ourselves into moulds of what leaders should be like?

I was thinking about all the things God had shown to me through the year over the short span of time as I prepared for work (which explains why I forgot to switch off the iron) and then I felt a prompting to jot these down, perhaps to encourage other introverted leaders or to even encourage myself in future? But nonetheless, I am still in the process of being moulded by God and have lots more to learn. So, in the meantime, what have I learnt over these 1 year?

• Heart over Skills - Being a leader is not so much about skills but about heart and availability to serve. I have come to see how God moulds, prepares, provides and guides you in ministry as long as you have the heart for God's people and are willing to avail yourself. It's about being "willing" and not worrying about the "able" part. Moses also started off feeling not confident as his ability to speak but manages to lead his people (Exodus 4:10-17):
  
  10 Moses said to the LORD, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."

  11 The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

  13 But Moses said, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it."

  14 Then the LORD's anger burned against Moses and he said, "What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and his heart will be glad when he sees you. 15 You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. 16 He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him. 17 But take this staff in your hand so you can perform miraculous signs with it."

  God also assured Jeremiah in Jeremiah 1:5-8:
  
  5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
  before you were born I set you apart;
  I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

  6 "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."

  7 But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.

• 1 Corinthians 15:58 - Another thing I have learnt is that chances are that you might have a more difficult time taking up leadership and self-depreciation, spiritual attacks are real, as I have experienced it, so remember 1 Corinthians 15:58:
  
  Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
  
  Even Moses had gone through periods of rejection and pain (Numbers 11:11-15):
  
  11 He asked the LORD, "Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on me? 12 Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse carries an infant, to the land you promised on oath to their forefathers? 13 Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, 'Give us meat to eat!' 14 I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. 15 If this is how you are going to treat me, put me to death right now—if I have found favor in your eyes—and do not let me face my own ruin."
  
  What pain.
  
  
• God is with you - Remember that you have been chosen (assuming you have received the calling) and that God is always with you. God is always there and all you need to do is just open your spiritual eyes. Be assured by Isaiah 41:9-10 as it has encouraged me:
  
  I took you from the ends of the earth,
  from its farthest corners I called you.
  I said, 'You are my servant';
  I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
  
  So do not fear, for I am with you;
  do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
  I will strengthen you and help you;
  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
  
  
• Partnership with God - One of the powerful perspective which has helped me is something which my friend shared with me one day that we are not leading OUR cell but GOD's cell. All we need to do it avail ourselves to allow God to use us and minister through us. In this way, you will then feel less "performance anxiety" because you recognise you are leading with God.
  
  
• The primary JD - I realised the ministry leadership is very different from other types of leadership. Yes, ministry leadership is servant leadership as in we serve rather than seek to be served. But an important revelation, in my opinion, is that leadership is all about (i) the leader getting right with God first and then (ii) committing to share his/her walk with the Lord as an example to his members and (iii) keep reminding members of the need to develop a relationship with God because we, like the Israelites, can be all happy at how the Lord blesses us one moment but later forget about His goodness, which could also take us through trials. Ultimately, our primary "job description" is not to provide new perspectives to the bible as much as reminding the basics of the bible: Recall, Repent, Reconcile, Restore. So don't feel guilty you have nothing new to teach", remind!
  
  
• Prayer - Ministry leadership is spiritual warfare as we wage battle against Satan to win people back into reconciliation to God and hence you can expect battle in the spiritual realm. As followers, we have been given the weapon to deal with the evil one (Ephesians 6:10-20) but then what is emphasised is at the end about prayer because prayer, as I have realised from my walk, not only provide 2-way communication with God but also is a powerful weapon as communication channels are open and God guides. Remember that you are in partnership with God in leading the cell and pray before preparing for cell; for God to open your eyes to the angle the session should take to minister to someone in the cell.
  
  Besides praying before preparation, also keep praying for your members and also for yourself to continue to have joy in serving God, focus and for spiritual covering. In fact, the cell should pray for their leaders to make sure they are spiritually covered and stay focused on God.
  
  
• Don't Compare, God has His purpose for your cell - From time to time, leaders may compare themselves to other leaders to see how they are doing. I know because I did that and in the process, got very discouraged. But then God continued to assure me and then it became clear to me that God has His purpose for every cell and sometimes, your cell might have a different purpose e.g. to reach out to the introverted, backslided, misled, single-parents, burnt out etc so no two cells are the same. It would be like comparing apples to pears and saying how pears are not as round as apples. Keep praying for God to open your eyes to what His plans for your cell is and in time to come, He will show.
  
  Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
  
  
• God's Timing & Provision - Trust in God's timing because as Romans 8:28 says: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.". It is "the good of those who love him" and not just your good. Recently, my boss shared an interesting analogy which caught my attention:
  
  Imagine 2 baseball player - one is batting and one is catching the ball and both are Christians. The batter prays to God that the one catching the ball will miss the ball but the one catching the ball prays that the he will catch the ball, so how?
  
  An interesting analogy and I have come to realise that sometimes God's plans takes time and moulding, just as how I now look at my cell and realise how an exodus of members was necessary because God has His plans for this cell and He needed to change the culture of the cell. Now the cell is still undergoing rebuilding but then I can see how He has brought people to the cell and how some people are staying and continues to be ministered to, not by my might but by the glory of God.
  
  In the same way, I have come to realise how God has provided me with people in my cell with different gifting to rise up to the occasion to help rebuild the cell.It becomes clear to me when KM has stopped working to concentrate on her studies and how at that time, God has given her rest and she also started to help with bringing people in cell closer together. I could not have done that but God raised up a person to help me with that.
  
  
• Blessing people to go - As much as God will bring people to come to your cell, so will he continue to lead people to the "right" cell where they can grow. So if things does not work out and a member was to leave your cell, do not feel rejected, instead try to be glad that the person is going to a cell where he/she can grow better.
  
  
• It's not a number game - Although it may feel horrible having people leaving your cell or people not coming, remember that it is not a number game and continue to minister to the few who came. There come a point I tell myself "God, no matter you sent 3 or 30, I will minister to them".
  
  
• God is Real - God is always around you and He is real, you just have to open your spiritual eyes to be aware of His existence. Keeping a spiritual journal has helped me to know how real God is. It also helps you to keep track of how God has blessed you and in times of trials, remind you how God has always been there for you.
  
  
• Recognise members' personal responsibility - Remember that as much as you need to help people to grow, you cannot arm-twist a person and he/she will have to take up his/her own responsibility to grow spiritually; we can only make the environment conducive for that. Remember that the Christian faith is about relationship with God and where there is no repentance, there can be no relationship, reconciliation with God. I recall one day telling a friend this: that the Christian faith is about relationship with God and just like a relationship with a person, we need to nurture the relationship. Your leader cannot nurture the relationship with God on your behalf as much as he/she could not go into a relationship with your partner on your behalf. You will have to do it.
  
  In another aspect, members also have the responsibility to make the cell meeting work, not just those serving on that day. The cell meeting is only as successful as the members make it to be. As such, I have recently felt led to open make an agreement with my members about how we needed to be punctual, how we need to respect confidentiality; that everything discussed will stay within the 4 walls, how we all needed to participate and how we should try to give thanks each week so we can be more God-aware.
  
  
• Creating a safe haven - With an introverted leader, from how I see it, chances are that the cell will comprise of mainly introverted members who are drawn to the leader (though God will also bless the cell with extrovert(s) for His purposes). So it would be important a safe haven be created so people are confident to share. I have once made a mistake of not intervening when someone else interrupted another who was sharing and when I subsequently returned to the first person, he did not want to share. If that happens, the trust will need to be rebuilt. So God led me one day to talk about confidentiality as we cover our cell covenant.
  
  
• Show you are human too and do not have all the answers - Leaders need to be real and you make mistakes too. Accept that. You and your members need to recognise that. Only when members feel how real their leader is that they may also start sharing.
  
  
• Delegate - Don't burnout. Work with various members as they are ready to rise up to use their gifting to edify the cell. For a start, you may wish to have someone to look into complementing you and help to bring the people together. Other roles e.g. refreshments, icebreakers, attendance & cell list, word discussion, worship, treasurer and prayer can be looked slowly at a later stage.
  
  Acts 6:1-4
  1. In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Grecian Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. 2. So the Twelve gathered all the disciples together and said, "It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables. 3. Brothers, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them 4. and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word."
  
  Delegation not only help you to focus on your ministry but also gives other a chance to develop ownership for the cell and grow as they hone their gifting. So do not rob them of a growth opportunity.
  
  
• Leadership Style - This is just another way of saying what was shared earlier: while it is good to emulate other leaders, ask youself if God has a reason for picking you as a leader. So there may be nothing wrong with your leadership style after all since God calls all kinds of leaders. Lead and care in your way e.g. for me, I struggle with calling my members but continue to sms (even sms-pray) for my members.
  
  
• Open cell - One thing I have learnt from another cell is the need to stay open and outreaching and not all exlcusive. Because the day the cell grows so exclusive, there is a danger it might turn into a social club and spiritual stagnation might be round the corner.
  
  
• Profile & Culture of Cell - understand the profile and culture of the cell and pray for spiritual eyes to see the needs of your members and try to address those needs. If unable to, e.g. it is necessary for a sister-in-christ to minister to a sister-in-christ, engage help from another member.
  
  
• Miscellaneous - Other things which have helped me in my ministry:
• Focus on thanksgiving so as to help members be reminded of how real God is e.g. blog
• Shared worship leading where everyone choose a song for the week, as the Spirit leads. So far, the worship sessions have been wonderful even though there is no music and we sing acapella; going back to the heart of worship
• Breaking into small groups to pray for one another so it is less intimidating