Still Feeling Sore

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It has been almost 3 years but I can't explain why I am still sore...

Recently, my professional association sent us a letter inviting us to join in an upcoming dinner to celebrate the profession. Given the old me, I would have been the first to respond, in support of the profession. But then, not only have I not renewed my membership, I have also hesitated about supporting this dinner. I guess I had been hurt quite badly and am still angry with my professional association for treating me the way they did 3 years back when I was there working for them.

And I could not explain the way I feel when I visited their webpage. I realised that they have redesigned the website and it was a nice looking website. For years after I left, they have maintained the website that I painstakingly designed and for years, they had struggled with website design and sometimes asked if I could help, only to have me saying "no" because I just could not take on any other commitments with my schedule and most importantly, I was still upset with them. But then, seeing that they now have someone to do the website and it's such a nice one, I found myself torn between feeling happy things are moving for the association vs feeling terribly upset that "my website is gone and now I am no longer needed". I don't know, maybe I am just upset the website which I designed is gone, maybe I feel threatened that all along the association had on several occasions tried to get me to rejoin their staff team and now, I may no longer be valued by them as much anymore (it's a bad jealous feeling which I know I should not have but then it's still there).

Anyway, I am trying to tell myself to just let go of the past and move on... it's been 3 years and isn't it true I am being brought to someone better, with wonderful colleagues and friends and also opportunities for spiritual growth? What more do I have to complain about?