NOT Another Bad Week!

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OK, it's now almost midnight. I have just came back from church from the other end of Singapore. It has been a tiring day at work and I need sleep :) But not until I finish typing this blog... somehow, I am not coming into this blog as often as in the past. Maybe really been a bit busy. But still, a lot has happened during this week and just needed to "unload"

Another Bad Week
Just as I thought last week was bad, this week started YET AGAIN on a negative note again. I can't believe it! On Monday, I received news from my dad that he did not receive good news from his doctor about his medical condition. Apparently, my dad has these lumps on his eye lids and according to the last doctor, he mentioned that it is nothing to worry about. But then, now this doctor is saying that it might be cancerous and so they need to conduct some test on it. Then, later, he was told that his kidney may not be doing that well.

You can imagine how my heart sank when I heard the news during lunch on Monday. I was affected, worried... A lot of what-ifs came to mind. What if my dad does have cancer and/or kidney failure? How is it going to impact my family? How am I going to afford the medical treatment? Is my dad going to be OK? Do we need to apply for financial assistance? If we need financial assistance, will we get it? How am I to face the social worker (I have reasons for that)? I was worried, I was confused, I was also angry (that my dad always choose not to take care of himself) and yet guilty not having played the role of a good son... I was a whole bag load of emotions that afternoon.

Then, on Wednesday, my boss suddenly told me that a colleague of mine had some "issues" with my resources in my department's resource catalogue. The first thing I thought was "What issues?" I thought I spoke to my colleague previously about it and I thought everything was settled. Then later, I was again called by boss and this colleague expressed that she is getting a little overwhelmed with my "cc-ing" her my emails. I was really caught by surprise when I heard this and I really wonder why she had not shared this with me earlier but only now, in front of my boss? That really made me feel quite rotten. But I do have a thanksgiving for this later.

Then coupled with the lethargy these few weeks, the week again wasn't a good one.

Thanksgiving Amidst Troubles
But still, I choose to also give thanks for:

• Economic Restructuring Shares & GST Offset Package - With my dad's medical condition, I decided that I am going to try to be more financially disciplined and be less of a spendthrift. Immediately, I remember that I have still a little uncashed ERS and also the GST Offset Package... thank God for it even though it is a small amount
  
  
• Wonderful Cell Discussion - I really really thank God for the wonderful cell discussion time we had last week. It went so unbelievably well that I am convinced that it has been blessed by God. I had started the week on a bad note, ending with having to take leave last Friday to just have some time alone. But as I went through the week, I give thanks for everything God has given me and I also started to see how God ministers to me throughout the week through my reading of His word, the devotion at work, a sms sent by a friend, a DVD sermon my dad was playing and even a devotional I have read some time back. Everything just clicked so nicely. I am this meek and quiet person, but that night, I spoke and spoke and spoke. God has given me the words to speak and had used me for cell. Everything just flowed, from the discussion, to my line of thought and also our prayer. For the first time, I did not have to worry about what to pray and the words just came and came and came...
  
  
• Achievements - I thank God for the things that I was able to achieve over the past two weeks. Throughout the last two weeks, I was able to finish the cell group blog, an association's web community, a calendar as a welcome gift for our new officer at work and finally a simple access database at work to manage my volunteer management resource library. By God's grace I was able to surprisingly complete my CG's blog within just two days, featuring things like an online radio, a shared CG prayer list, an "upcoming event" section, tagboard, daily scriptures and devotions, email subscription. Then over another three days, I managed to put together a web community using php, containing a shoutbox, forum, profile page, an online library, chatroom just to name a few. Over half a day, I was able to finish a simple access database and I took another half a day to re-classify and re-catalogue my whole resource library. I am not blowing my own trumpet by all these but thank God for His grace in getting things done. It's amazing how all these can get done within a few days...
  
  
• Blessed by others' giftings - I also thank God for sending me a colleague at work who is helping me with programming an electronic database system for volunteer management. From my discussion with him, I can sense how demanding I am in my requests for various features. But I can also see his passion in sing his gifting from God in helping me develop the database.
  
  
• God Speaks - I thank God for continuing to speak to me in themes through the weeks through various ways such as my reading of His word and circumstances, although not in a dramatic way (with a loud voice from heaven and echoes). But it is evident how God speaks. Past few weeks have various themes which fits just nice into cell group discussion. This week, the theme seems to be on how we would react to trials. Things like "How God will not guarantee a smooth journey but a safe landing" and "When I seek His will, He will bless" (just like how when talking to a CG mate, the right words of encouragement (things that I would never find myself saying) just come out).
  
  Interestingly also, today's devotion topic was on "we blessing and praising the name of the Lord when we are blessed, but do we bless His name as well in times of trial?" My colleague shared about her experience of having her car broken into when she went to Malaysia with her family for church camp. Minutes before they realised they had been robbed, they were feasting away and somehow the thought "we blessing and praising the name of the Lord when we are blessed, but do we bless His name as well in times of trial?" came to my colleague's husband. But, with God's grace, despite all having lost everything, the family still managed to make it back to Singapore without their passports (something which puzzled the Malaysian customs because they warned my colleague that she and her daughter may make it across because they are Singapore citizens but not her husband and maid). Thank God they made it back safe and thank God for all the prayer warriors who prayed for them.
  
  
• Timing for Things This Week - I thank God for rest from cell preparation this week. This week is supposed to be cell fellowship week so there will be no cell meeting on Friday, which means I do not need to prepare. I really thank God for the good timing of things because I had a busy week with my evenings all filled with a dinner appointment on Monday with my colleagues, course in church on Tuesday and Thursday and another dinner appointment on Friday. Given the things that has happened and all the appointments and courses, I would not be in a good state to prepare for cell this week, so thank God for the good timing this week.
  
  
• Dad's Kidney is OK - I thank God that the doctor has mentioned that his kidney seems to be OK. Hallelujah! Now it is the lumps in his eyelids.
  
  
• Conflict Management - I thank God for a session that went well with my colleague. Earlier, I mentioned how upset I was when I found out about the issue with the resource catalogue (which in the end ended me with an additional project to re-catalogue my resource library) and then later about the carbon-copy emails. I was seriously upset about it and the whole morning, I think I might have avoided eye contact with her. I am glad I made the decision to sit down with my colleague to talk about it and I thank God everything went well. No hard feelings.
  
  
• Support from Cell Members - I thank God for some cell members taking to my leadership style. I also thank God for putting that burden to see my cell members grow into my heart; not so much the numbers of the cell or the programme but the growth. In fact, I thank God for putting a sister-in-christ, who had once back-slided but now has returned, into our cell. Her passion has indeed rubbed off onto me and I felt ministered by her as much as God has used me to encourage her on. I thank God for the couple of affirmations I have received from a few cell members so far. I also thank God that another sister-in-christ who haven't been coming to cell has decided to join another cell (yes, I do feel a little rejected but then I am really happy she is growing in other cells).
  
  
• Walk-Ride Out - I thank God for our pastor giving us a ride out in his van. The course ended late today and when we tried to leave by the backdoor, we realised that it was locked. So we had to walk one big round out to the main road. But thank God for the time because I got the opportunity to talk to my sister-in-christ from cell, got to know her more and also got ministered by her. Then thank God that pastor then drove past us in his van and offered us a ride out. Or else I would not have reached home so soon :)
  
  
• Talkative Codfishy - I thank God that I was unusually "extroverted" last Sunday and spoke to my friend's friend who came to visit in church
  
  
• Bright Bulb Over My Door - I was getting rather edgy about the mess in my office so since I had some time to re-catalogue my resource library, I took the opportunity to also do a little spring cleaning. Found a nice poster on volunteers (one with a gigantic bulb) and hung this up on my door :) Now my room and door look a little different :) But I still have more spring cleaning to do for my office, home and my bag.

There is also this girl that is making me feel a little different. She is a nice and sweet girl and I am starting to wonder if I am taking a liking to her. My heart somehow feels funny when I thought about her (think I am also smiling as I thought of her). Never felt this way before. Don't know la, if this is my life partner then I hope I will not miss her :) Let's see how it goes.