God-Inspired Leadership

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5 weeks into cell leadership and I must say it hasn't been easy. OK, I say it again: It hasn't been easy!

Who Says It's Gonna be an Easy Path
I met up with one of my colleagues yesterday and we were sharing testimonies. She shared how after accepting Christ years ago, she started to backslide and walk away from God. Why? Because, it just wasn't easy to walk as a Christian; she was so used to living the life the way she wants. But suddenly, she realised that, as a Christian, she is not able to do that and she is just not ready to let go. And so began her walk away. But of course, years later, God called her back again and she is now happily serving as a cell leader too. So, who says walking as a Christian is going to be easy and what more as a cell leader? Sometimes, I wonder "why do I even bother?" Seriously, I was thinking:

• I used to enjoy being a follower and being ministered to. Now, I have to think about how to carry out cell group discussion every week and to hopefully be able to minister to others
• I used to grow spiritually at my own pace but am now finding that I need to grow faster and also walk my talk and lead by example
• I was used to staying in my comfort zone and not having to talk to many people being the introvert I am but now, I have to sometimes be functionally extroverted to engage people
• I did not have to deal with rejection that much but now keep worrying that the other cell members would not take to my style and reject me
• All of a sudden, I find myself being burdened about other's spiritual walk and sometimes feel so rotten and horrible when people walk away from God and I know not what to do

Frankly, the list can go on and on but these were the main factors. Well, I wasn't sure how writing down all these burdens help because I am worried that as I type, it would only serve to make me more discouraged. In fact, things has gotten so bad until one weekend, during the Peter Tsukahira seminar, I was struggling with all these and felt so burdened that on that Friday, I decided to sit apart from my cell people. I had wanted to be alone. I was angry with God and had not wanted to be hurt more. Then on that Saturday during the seminar, I made up my mind to step down from leadership, barely two weeks into it and I was very certain about it. I smsed my Area Overseer (AO) and asked to meet up after the seminar, saying that I had something to talk to him about. But as the seminar went on, the presenter was talking about the struggles of the Jews, read a verse from Ruth 1:16 "But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you." Now, I do not know how this verse touched me but the fact is that it did...

Then, I met my AO, sat down with him and told him I had intended to step down. There was of course heart-to-heart talk that evening. One thing I learnt from him is that I need not emulate my former cell leader but should try to be myself. I guess it is true that I have been trying to be what she is like and gave myself pressure. And so I decided to stay. But trust me, my weeks are still nerve-wrecking from Monday and I am most relaxed after cell, then the whole cycle starts again. But I thank God for a few things that week:

• That cell was cancelled because of the seminar and anyway I would not have been in a good state to lead cell that week because I was real real down. So it was timely that cell was cancelled.
• God has given me the opportunity to speak to a brother who seem to be struggle with his walk. I had fret about what I am going to say when i meet him but things went relatively well and he shared his struggle
• For a spiritually engaging week because never have I spent so much time worshipping, praising, studying and experiencing Him. It started with the Friday seminar on "Israel and End-Days Prophecies" (surprisingly, it wasn't about a gloomy topic I was expecting but it was one on how God has plans to reconcile His people to Him through history). Then a whole Saturday on that as well followed by two services that Sunday on two separate topics by the special guest speaker and finally ending with the Global Day of Prayer in the National Stadium. It was awesome seeing people of different "tongues and tribes" coming together to worshipping God and praying for the nations. It was awesome standing and singing "I Stand in Awe of You" in the National Stadium under the skies.
• I thank God for blessing a training session that I planned that week with all my volunteer coordinators and things went incredibly well, in fact too surprisingly well! We even managed to get a mission statement for volunteer involvement done up; something which I had wanted for the longest of time but had not been able to achieve.
• I thank God for an email from our "backpacker" friends who are now in China helping the school with the rebuilding project for the school domitory. Just last month, we had gone there to conduct some stress management courses and also bless them with book donations from Singapore. After we left, we got news that the school domitory burnt down which might mean no place for the students to stay in that cold weather. The friend emailed to inform that she is now in negotiation to a group of Singaporeans who are there for YEP project to bless the school by helping with the rebuilding project. She shared that just before the guy she was discussing with left, he gave her a donation of 300RMB, the exact amount which she had blessed us with for the subsequent projects we are going for in other places, no more no less. Just as we were about to say goodbye to them and go down the mountain, she thrusted an envelop to us and asked us to only open it when we get down from the mountain. After getting down from the mountain, we opened and saw that she had blessed us with 300RMB for the next two projects we were doing in HH and XD.

Thinking back, I have grown since and things have changed in my life:

• I have grown in my knowledge of God's word. Well, OK I had to because I needed to prepare for cell group every week but never would I have thought that I would be reading the bible regularly and also seeing and understanding things as now
• I have became more serious in my walk with the Lord
• I am praying more for the people around me who are struggling even though not as much as I would like to
• I have started to experience how God sometimes will work in my life and bless me in my ministry / calling just like how He has always guided me in my preparation for cell.
• I thank God for at least 2 people who seems to be taking to my cell leadership style :)

I can choose to be like the Israellites in Exodus, who after being delivered from Egypt from slavery by God through Moses, began to look back at their lives in Egypt instead of looking to entering The Promised Land (the now Israel) by God or I can be like men of faith like Abraham, Noah, Joshua, Job and so on.

The paths are not an easy one but paths are meant to lead people to somewhere.

God-Inspired Leading
God has been guiding me in my cell preparation. Just last week, it was on choices and the theme that week for me was on choices... then this week, we had planned for one of our cell members to conduct a DISC and spiritual gifting questionnaire with the group and Sunday's message was on building the house of God and living life meaningfully and with purpose, dedicated to the Lord. One of our church Elders have passed on last week and in memory of him, the church did a video clip of him and in one of the scenes which was taken from an interview with him last November, he talked about his diagnosis with tears and encouraged everyone to love their lives meaningfully and with purpose, dedicated to the Lord.

So this week's theme seems to be on building God's house and how one should live their lives meaningfully and purposefully, dedicated to the Lord. I have been pondering how I should get my cell members to serve in cell and was really lost. This was the very message that I had needed to bring across to my members. Then came across a "Our Daily Bread" article on using our God-given giftings as an expression of worship. Then yesterday spoke to a colleague who has made a choice to follow God's calling to move to a new portfolio in one of our centres, where I can see how God is working through her and how she is enjoying every moment of it. Then today's devotion was on how everyone of us are uniquely special and guess what hahaha... it was also about DISC. Talk about coincidence and we are doing DISC tomorrow.

Two Habits of Highly Effective Leadership
OK la, anyway, this week has been a real relaxed week for me because my someone is helping to administer the DISC questionnaire tomorrow so I can take a break from facilitating cell. Also took the opportunity to meet up with my colleague to talk about cell leadership. It was a good evening fellowshipping and although I would not follow her style in cell leadership because some of her leadership style is just not "me", I was blessed from her sharing and learnt that in the end, there is no secrets to effective cell leadership but the very 2 habits of highly effective cell leaders, as given by God: Love God and Love People... that's it! Short and sweet and simple... God's great commandment:

Mark 12:28-31:
28. One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?" 29. "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'31. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

Matthew 22:36-40:
36. "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37. Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'38. This is the first and greatest commandment. 39. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' 40. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."