Pulling My Hair Out (And I am Losing Hair)

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Moving Too Fast for Myself
Burnt, burnt, think I am really burnt out... Have a kind of feeling that I am moving way too fast for myself at work, especially when my boss today commented that I have "given birth" to so many (new) things (i.e. putting in systems and establishing new workflows) that no one now knows my work because it just seem complex (I myself will get confused sometimes). So much so, there is a little crisis now because I am going away for my in-camp training and we just could not figure out who can cover me, given all the complexities.

I finally realized today that being a VPM really requires one to be able to multitask because you will always be doing anything and everything;

• from taking enquiries from public about volunteering, to interviewing volunteers...
• from marketing your volunteer programme, to compiling statistics and reports about your volunteer programme...
• from attending meetings after meeting with potential volunteer partners, to researching and thinking how the volunteer programme can be improved...
• from data entry, to developing forms and tools...
• from designing publications to promote the volunteer programme, to planning meetings and training sessions...
• from seeking to understand the volunteer needs of the organization programmes and projects, to certifying volunteers' service hours...
• from project / event management, to volunteer support...
• from taking photos, to screening, referring, placing volunteers
  

I must have done some 20-30 follow-ups and referrals today while struggling with some 10-15 projects... To make matters worst, I had to handle volunteers who just don't follow instructions and keeps emailing (rather than call) to ask, in a piecemeal manner, how to get to the centre, what are the volunteer duty shift timings, etc when the information and relevant instructions has already been provided.

Some even rely on you to provide detailed instructions such as which buses will bring them from their home to the centre etc. All at the same time, the phone was ringing off the hook with people asking about volunteering and I had to follow-up on volunteer applications which have been submitted through mail and follow-up on voice messages left on my phone, while rushing to attend a meeting at another centre. Occasionally, you have to "firefight" because there had been no follow-up after you have referred the volunteer out and the volunteer become upset.

Yup, this was my day today... a blessing that I still have hair left on my head... temper wasn't exactly very good today as well...

Feeling about Feelings: Guilty about Disappointment
Mentioned 2 days ago that I was happy that my ex-colleague was finally doing something for herself and had submitted her resignation... but yesterday, realized that she might stay after all... this really disappointed me.

Not sure why I feel this way; why am I disappointed? Is it because I am disappointed that my friend is once again neglecting her own self care since she has chosen to stay, despite how much the work is affecting her?

Or am I disappointed that the opportunity for my former workplace to be taught a lesson is gone? After all, I am still upset that all the hardwork and effort I have put in for my ex-organization was not appreciated and how my professional integrity had been undermined. But a part of me is also saying: "Shame on you! How could you even think in such a way?! Forgive just as you have been forgiven, show grace."

Chocolate, Blueberry, Cheese, Carrot, Walnut or Coconut Muffins
Have heard so much about this muffin shop at Shunfu Food Centre but haven't the chance to try it... today, my colleagues finally decided to eat at Shunfu and buy some muffins back...

I must say the muffins are real nice, soft and fragrant... and we were blessed that there was no crowd when we arrived but the lunchtime crowd soon came and threatened to "swallow" the store up as they gathered in front of the unit and waited patiently for their orders.

My muffins

The famous "Chocolat "n" Spice"

Touched by Angels
So touched by my colleagues today... some of them knew that an event I was helping to recruit volunteers for didn't have enough volunteers and they volunteered to help after work. They had initially wanted to help out during office hours but then my boss "cautioned" me about deploying staff during office hours for unofficial matters. This somehow made me feel embarrassed because I thought I heard my boss say last week that she may consider letting staff help out at the event during office hours... but I guess my boss may have forgotten given all the work matters she has on her mind.