Uncertainty Looms

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I am starting to be unsure of myself (again)...

Went for my job interview today and I would say it went quite well... Seems like chances of getting the job seems good since the interview went on for more than an hour and my interviewer even brought me through, in great details, the business of the company and what I am supposed to do there. Well, won't know the results until 1 week later when the big boss returns and reviews my application.

Anyway, I am starting to be unsure about myself again, not sure if it is a good choice to leave social work and come into this semiconductor line, doing marketing... I am quite excited at what I am going to do but then this is really something new... it seems that my passion remains working with people rather than machines... However, it also seems like a bit unfair to pull out now since my friend had helped me to secure this interview...

Yes, I want to leave my current job because of all the unhappiness but then I am not sure whether am I using this job as an excuse for my exit... I am so afraid that I might not like this new job... but then how would I know if I do not try? I think it doesn't help that in the afternoon, I was sharing with another friend what I did as a Medical Social Worker. I had so much to say and went on and on about my work experience and how I had grown when I was in social work... I really wonder what am I doing to myself, am I taking the correct path; to exit from the field... but I need to be healed... I need sometime away from people who would remind me of all the unhappiness I had experienced.

I have became so uncertain, I had also changed the URL to my blog... not sure if it is fair to speak of my organization in the way I did yesterday. I mean, I am not blaming my organization and management but then it is true that the experience working there over the past few months had been an unhappy one... Anyway, I changed my blog URL until a time I am ready to put it back on at the old URL again.

I am again wondering what people are saying behind me about my resignation, I am becoming very unstable again, so much so it is hurting all over again... I am really tired of all these... Do people feel I am using my resignation as a threat? Why did I receive an email from my management thanking me and a few other staff for staying in the new restructured organization? Haven't I made myself clear that I am leaving? So much uncertainty looms...

Better sleep soon... hopefully tomorrow will get better.