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We are all discoverers... travelling the world, learning its truths, its people and its meanings every single day. Grab your backpacks and let's embark on this journey of mine, one that holds a lot of meaning to me... Lilypie Kids birthday Ticker

Thursday, June 28, 2007

 

NOT Another Bad Week!

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OK, it's now almost midnight. I have just came back from church from the other end of Singapore. It has been a tiring day at work and I need sleep :) But not until I finish typing this blog... somehow, I am not coming into this blog as often as in the past. Maybe really been a bit busy. But still, a lot has happened during this week and just needed to "unload"

Another Bad Week
Just as I thought last week was bad, this week started YET AGAIN on a negative note again. I can't believe it! On Monday, I received news from my dad that he did not receive good news from his doctor about his medical condition. Apparently, my dad has these lumps on his eye lids and according to the last doctor, he mentioned that it is nothing to worry about. But then, now this doctor is saying that it might be cancerous and so they need to conduct some test on it. Then, later, he was told that his kidney may not be doing that well.

You can imagine how my heart sank when I heard the news during lunch on Monday. I was affected, worried... A lot of what-ifs came to mind. What if my dad does have cancer and/or kidney failure? How is it going to impact my family? How am I going to afford the medical treatment? Is my dad going to be OK? Do we need to apply for financial assistance? If we need financial assistance, will we get it? How am I to face the social worker (I have reasons for that)? I was worried, I was confused, I was also angry (that my dad always choose not to take care of himself) and yet guilty not having played the role of a good son... I was a whole bag load of emotions that afternoon.

Then, on Wednesday, my boss suddenly told me that a colleague of mine had some "issues" with my resources in my department's resource catalogue. The first thing I thought was "What issues?" I thought I spoke to my colleague previously about it and I thought everything was settled. Then later, I was again called by boss and this colleague expressed that she is getting a little overwhelmed with my "cc-ing" her my emails. I was really caught by surprise when I heard this and I really wonder why she had not shared this with me earlier but only now, in front of my boss? That really made me feel quite rotten. But I do have a thanksgiving for this later.

Then coupled with the lethargy these few weeks, the week again wasn't a good one.

Thanksgiving Amidst Troubles
But still, I choose to also give thanks for:
  • Economic Restructuring Shares & GST Offset Package - With my dad's medical condition, I decided that I am going to try to be more financially disciplined and be less of a spendthrift. Immediately, I remember that I have still a little uncashed ERS and also the GST Offset Package... thank God for it even though it is a small amount

  • Wonderful Cell Discussion - I really really thank God for the wonderful cell discussion time we had last week. It went so unbelievably well that I am convinced that it has been blessed by God. I had started the week on a bad note, ending with having to take leave last Friday to just have some time alone. But as I went through the week, I give thanks for everything God has given me and I also started to see how God ministers to me throughout the week through my reading of His word, the devotion at work, a sms sent by a friend, a DVD sermon my dad was playing and even a devotional I have read some time back. Everything just clicked so nicely. I am this meek and quiet person, but that night, I spoke and spoke and spoke. God has given me the words to speak and had used me for cell. Everything just flowed, from the discussion, to my line of thought and also our prayer. For the first time, I did not have to worry about what to pray and the words just came and came and came...

  • Achievements - I thank God for the things that I was able to achieve over the past two weeks. Throughout the last two weeks, I was able to finish the cell group blog, an association's web community, a calendar as a welcome gift for our new officer at work and finally a simple access database at work to manage my volunteer management resource library. By God's grace I was able to surprisingly complete my CG's blog within just two days, featuring things like an online radio, a shared CG prayer list, an "upcoming event" section, tagboard, daily scriptures and devotions, email subscription. Then over another three days, I managed to put together a web community using php, containing a shoutbox, forum, profile page, an online library, chatroom just to name a few. Over half a day, I was able to finish a simple access database and I took another half a day to re-classify and re-catalogue my whole resource library. I am not blowing my own trumpet by all these but thank God for His grace in getting things done. It's amazing how all these can get done within a few days...

  • Blessed by others' giftings - I also thank God for sending me a colleague at work who is helping me with programming an electronic database system for volunteer management. From my discussion with him, I can sense how demanding I am in my requests for various features. But I can also see his passion in sing his gifting from God in helping me develop the database.

  • God Speaks - I thank God for continuing to speak to me in themes through the weeks through various ways such as my reading of His word and circumstances, although not in a dramatic way (with a loud voice from heaven and echoes). But it is evident how God speaks. Past few weeks have various themes which fits just nice into cell group discussion. This week, the theme seems to be on how we would react to trials. Things like "How God will not guarantee a smooth journey but a safe landing" and "When I seek His will, He will bless" (just like how when talking to a CG mate, the right words of encouragement (things that I would never find myself saying) just come out).

    Interestingly also, today's devotion topic was on "we blessing and praising the name of the Lord when we are blessed, but do we bless His name as well in times of trial?" My colleague shared about her experience of having her car broken into when she went to Malaysia with her family for church camp. Minutes before they realised they had been robbed, they were feasting away and somehow the thought "we blessing and praising the name of the Lord when we are blessed, but do we bless His name as well in times of trial?" came to my colleague's husband. But, with God's grace, despite all having lost everything, the family still managed to make it back to Singapore without their passports (something which puzzled the Malaysian customs because they warned my colleague that she and her daughter may make it across because they are Singapore citizens but not her husband and maid). Thank God they made it back safe and thank God for all the prayer warriors who prayed for them.

  • Timing for Things This Week - I thank God for rest from cell preparation this week. This week is supposed to be cell fellowship week so there will be no cell meeting on Friday, which means I do not need to prepare. I really thank God for the good timing of things because I had a busy week with my evenings all filled with a dinner appointment on Monday with my colleagues, course in church on Tuesday and Thursday and another dinner appointment on Friday. Given the things that has happened and all the appointments and courses, I would not be in a good state to prepare for cell this week, so thank God for the good timing this week.

  • Dad's Kidney is OK - I thank God that the doctor has mentioned that his kidney seems to be OK. Hallelujah! Now it is the lumps in his eyelids.

  • Conflict Management - I thank God for a session that went well with my colleague. Earlier, I mentioned how upset I was when I found out about the issue with the resource catalogue (which in the end ended me with an additional project to re-catalogue my resource library) and then later about the carbon-copy emails. I was seriously upset about it and the whole morning, I think I might have avoided eye contact with her. I am glad I made the decision to sit down with my colleague to talk about it and I thank God everything went well. No hard feelings.

  • Support from Cell Members - I thank God for some cell members taking to my leadership style. I also thank God for putting that burden to see my cell members grow into my heart; not so much the numbers of the cell or the programme but the growth. In fact, I thank God for putting a sister-in-christ, who had once back-slided but now has returned, into our cell. Her passion has indeed rubbed off onto me and I felt ministered by her as much as God has used me to encourage her on. I thank God for the couple of affirmations I have received from a few cell members so far. I also thank God that another sister-in-christ who haven't been coming to cell has decided to join another cell (yes, I do feel a little rejected but then I am really happy she is growing in other cells).

  • Walk-Ride Out - I thank God for our pastor giving us a ride out in his van. The course ended late today and when we tried to leave by the backdoor, we realised that it was locked. So we had to walk one big round out to the main road. But thank God for the time because I got the opportunity to talk to my sister-in-christ from cell, got to know her more and also got ministered by her. Then thank God that pastor then drove past us in his van and offered us a ride out. Or else I would not have reached home so soon :)

  • Talkative Codfishy - I thank God that I was unusually "extroverted" last Sunday and spoke to my friend's friend who came to visit in church

  • Bright Bulb Over My Door - I was getting rather edgy about the mess in my office so since I had some time to re-catalogue my resource library, I took the opportunity to also do a little spring cleaning. Found a nice poster on volunteers (one with a gigantic bulb) and hung this up on my door :) Now my room and door look a little different :) But I still have more spring cleaning to do for my office, home and my bag.
There is also this girl that is making me feel a little different. She is a nice and sweet girl and I am starting to wonder if I am taking a liking to her. My heart somehow feels funny when I thought about her (think I am also smiling as I thought of her). Never felt this way before. Don't know la, if this is my life partner then I hope I will not miss her :) Let's see how it goes.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

 

Letting Go and Letting God

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Psalm 9:10 (NIV)
Those who know your name will trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future
.

Today's devotion at work is about "Letting Go and Letting God".

Somehow, deep inside us, we know this cognitively but then to practice it seems like nearly impossible. In the words of someone else, "we tend to give God a hand".

Today's devotion was from the devotional article, The Perfect Storm, in Our Daily Bread, based on Mark 4:35-41. It asks if you are currently facing a storm in life and just as Jesus had calmed the storm, do you trust in the Lord to deliver you from your trials. As someone has put it nicely too:

Our God does not promise us a smooth life's journey but a safe landing.

How Do We React in Times of Trials?
Yes, many a times, we get angry when God seems far away and allow suffering (I myself am guilty of that). We can be like Naomi, who intially lamented how the Lord had made her life bitter. We however learnt later how she was blessed in small ways. Last week, the Old Testament Challenge sermon was on 1 Samuel and we saw how Hannah had cried out to the Lord in her desparation of having her womb closed and being chastised by Peninnah:

1 Samuel 1:6-7 (NIV)
6 And because the LORD had closed her womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. 7 This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the LORD, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat.


We cannot fully appreciate the torment Hannah went through but we know she persistently cried out to the Lord and trusted in Him and in the end, she gave birth to Samuel and many children:

1 Samuel 1:21 (NIV)
And the LORD was gracious to Hannah; she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile, the boy Samuel grew up in the presence of the LORD.

A Personal Testimony of a Mini Storm and God's Deliverance
Yes, for me, I have come to realise, over the past few weeks, how God has blessed my leading of cell. I am this meek person who just do not know what to say and how to lead. I asked God why did He choose me, to the extent I was really not having an easy time, worrying and fearing every week. But then, on hindsight, I have realised how God has led the cell through me in the past few weeks. Somehow, God will speak to me and minister to me in themes and that would in turn help me in leading cell discussion. Yes, I am not the most charismatic leader of all, but then I have come to learn that I can trust in the Lord to minister through me. My heart still remains that it is not what I say but what the Lord says through me that is important and I sincerely pray for God to continue to use me to minister to others.

How Do we Treat God's Deliverance?
Trials are something that we are all familiar with. We have our various experiences of successes and failures with them but ultimately, they are what has shaped us to be what we are today. Some of us also have experiences of facing trials and being delivered by God. But the question is now: how then do we treat these deliverances? There is a tendancy for us to just shove the experience aside and sometimes forget how God delivered us. Just like the Israellites who were delivered by God and soon forgets His deliverance and strayed away from God, angering Him. We can sometimes be like Israel, don't we?

The Bible = A Book of Reminders, Lessons and Testimonies
If we put things into perspective, what is the bible about? yes, it is about God's love and God's grace. But ultimately, it is a chronicle of the story of God's people which serves to remind us, teach us and also a testimony of the greatness of God to others. We can sometimes be forgetfulof how God has delivered us and stray away. Are you one of them? Do you remember how God works in your life and how God has delivered you? Better still, do you keep an account to remind yourself with and learn from your experiences? Do you share your testimony of the greatness of God with others?

Our Daily Bread (21 January 2003)
In the Car Wash

I'll never forget my first experience using an automatic car wash. Approaching it with the dread of going to the dentist, I pushed the money into the slot, nervously checked and rechecked my windows, eased the car up to the line, and waited. Powers beyond my control began moving my car forward as if on a conveyor belt. There I was, cocooned inside, when a thunderous rush of water, soap, and brushes hit my car from all directions. What if I get stuck in here or water crashes in? I thought irrationally. Suddenly the waters ceased. After a blow-dry, my car was propelled into the outside world again, clean and polished.

In the midst of all this, I remembered stormy times in my life when it seemed I was on a conveyor belt, a victim of forces beyond my control. "Car-wash experiences," I now call them. I remembered that whenever I passed through deep waters my Redeemer had been with me, sheltering me against the rising tide (Isaiah 43:2). When I came out on the other side, which I always did, I was able to say with joy and confidence, "He is a faithful God!"

Are you in the middle of a car-wash experience? Trust God to bring you through to the other side. You'll then be a shining testimony of His keeping power. —Joanie Yoder

How wonderful to know that He
Who watches from above
Will always keep us sheltered in
His ever-present love! —King

A tunnel of testing can produce a shining testimony

What Are You Going to Do About It?
We thank God for His deliverance but here comes the hard part of remembering and sharing about it.

Conclusion? God will not promise a smooth journey but He promises He will be there with you. He knows what you are going through. At times, when God seem so far away, He is not. He is still with you. But when we are delivered, how do we remember His deliverance and how will we react again in the next trial?

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