Silence is Broken

Listen to this article

Silence is finally broken today. I went out with a common friend whom knows me and that friend who was "beginning to hate me" and I shared with him what happened between me and that friend while in a cafe.

Not Willing to Share
For weeks now, whenever we met, he would ask about what happened between us to have caused such a drastic conflict. I just didn't want to share the issue; I didn't want to recollect the bad experience (and I wanted to move on) and did not want to be in a position seen to be bad-mouthing that friend (since I will sharing from my perspective and will always paint a picture that "I am the victim"). I also didn't want to make things difficult for common friends since they know both me and that friend... in fact, at a point in time, I had even wanted to withdraw from these common friends because of this. I have chosen to kept silent about this and had not shared the full story with anyone.

Breaking the Silence
Today, I have made the decision to break this silence. What prompted this? Another friend of ours will be getting married next week and the thought of maybe seeing this friend who "was beginning to hate me" at the wedding just made me feel at a loss... I didn't know how I will behave at the wedding when I see him and did not want to appear ingenuine by pretending nothing has happened. Things have gotten rather irreconciliable and could get rather awkward at the wedding (which is why I pulled out from my friend's wedding band of brothers as this friend is also in it).

Again, this common friend tried his luck today to see if I was ready to share the story and I guess that I was ready, having kept silent for so long... I was ready to share not because I wanted to win him over to my side but because I wanted him to appreciate the fact why things have gotten out of hand and how awkward it might be next week when ultimately we meet. He has also promised to keep it in confidence and mentioned that he is objective enough and mature enough to continue to treat both of us as his friends; not letting what I say affect his friendship with that friend.

Series of Unfortunate Events

• The Start of it All - Things started going downhill from Dec 2004. A conflict at work sparked a whole series of events leading to the conflict between me and this friend... really a series of unfortunate events.
  
  My boss (let's call him G who worked in another office) was doing a research and has sought permission from my organization's EXCO to conduct the research with our organization's admin support (since the findings of the research would be beneficial to the organization). A particular EXCO member (let's call her K) was not at the meeting when this decision was being made and as such did not know about the arrangement.
  
  K got so mad when she learnt that the organization was lending admin support to G's research (since she did not know about the arrangement) and made a big fuss about the matter, confronting me and G about it. This eventually caused G to confront me and blamed me for not clearing the air when K made noise and for "misleading" her. The whole thing evntually got out of hand and even caused tensions between me and my fellow colleague who was also dragged into it. I became so devastated because I had respected G as a boss but when he threw harsh words at me and made harsh accusations at me, it just disappointed me that someone I so trust can be so insensitive.
  
  I needed support and confided in this friend who "was beginning to hate me" (let's call him Z). This was a wrong step; because Z liked G as a boss. Nevertheless, he commented that it is understandable why I felt this way under such circumstances. The conflict went on and so did the confiding...
  
  
• Feeling of not being supported - (Early 2005) The issue was eventually resolved but the hurt remained because someone I so respected did something like that. Although G eventually did apologize for the hurt, the damage has been done and my working relationship with G became rather cordial.
  
  With the disappointment, I went away for reservist training in Feb and made the decision to tender in my resignation upon my return after reservist. I made known my decision and G got to know about it. Z (who is working in the same office with him) SMSed me that G is trying to get me a particular job so that when I leave, I will not be jobless. I responded to that SMS that I am not keen to take up the job because (i) I do not foresee working with G again with all the disappointment and (ii) I do not like the job. However, the response I got from Z was "why are you making life difficult for G? G is not in the wrong in the first place." Deep in my heart, I was think:
  
  "not in the wrong?! So am I in the wrong? What is it about all the 'understanding how I felt under such circumstances' mumbo jumbo?" I felt hurt because I felt that my friend sided more with his boss than with a friend like me. I did not respond to that SMS.
  
  
• Doubts and Mistrust - Eventually things got a bit better between me and Z but sometime later, there were again some bad developments. I remember during one evening out, Z mentioned that in his ideal world, he would just like to have G and another friend. Deep in my heart I was thinking:
  
  "so you do not regard me as a friend. Since G is so important to you, I do not know how much of what I have shared with you has been shared with G"
  
  I started having doubts about Z because I had known him to be capable of being political; he had also admitted to, at times, being manipulative in order to get what he wants. This got me worrying how much of what I shared has been shared with G and whether there has been any other forms of distortion and manipulation (yes, I know I might have been too over-sensitive but it is no doubt I felt this way since I knew what Z is capable of and that G is an important person to him).
  
  Things eventually got worst (cross-reference: here) at a dinner where I saw how my friend behaved so much differently in front of G. I started having doubts and had even wanted to just make my way home myself after the dinner rather than be fetched back by Z in his car (but he insisted in seeing me home). Throughout the journey home, I just kept quiet but did managed to share a bit with Z how I was starting to have doubts.
  
  
• Decision to Move On - I eventually made the decision to move on. It is a terrible period for me and I was literally in crisis; facing problems at work, with my friendship and at home; my world was basically collapsing. I decided that I needed to do something for myself and move on rather than wallow in self-pity and dragging it on. I had decided to resign and have a "cooling off period" for this friendship. Anyway, things haven't been going well for both Z and myself for almost 2 years, with occasional conflicts and misunderstandings.
  
  
• Paranoia Moves In - During the "cooling-off" period, I made every effort to avoid contact with Z and soon he got annoyed with me avoiding him. He soon messaged that he was beginning to hate me (cross-reference: here).
  
  He also started to message me weird messages which made me paranoid, messages about murders etc (cross-reference: here). This made me real scared and for a period of time I was so paranoid that I checked to see if his car was around whenever I returned home and checked every corner of the corridor... I got so scared that I had no choice but to confide in another friend about all these messages (in case something happens to me).
  
  A few days later, he asked to meet to return me some CD-roms but I wasn't comfortable to meet and constantly told him to leave the disc with someone else and I will collect it. Eventually garnered enough courage to meet him and the encounter was brief with very little words exchanged (cross-reference: here). Nothing happened but I guess that signified the end of the friendship and was the last time we met face-to-face.
  
  
• Ill Feelings Brews - From here, Z seems to have ill feelings of me... There was once when he messaged to say that someone has approached G for a reference for a job and asked what job I applied for. When I told him that I will be working in a social service agency, he got so angry that he responded "same old disgusting attitude. All lies..." (cross-reference: here).
  
  At a particular sermon in October, we were challenged to be humble and confess our sins of pride and do something that God would want us to do and I immediately thought of this soured relationship. I wanted to see if I can do something to salvage it but when I sent a message to Z asking him to have a nice day (cross-reference: here), the response that came back was negative: He asked why I messaged and whether I was gloating at his state, whether he was betrayed, asked if I wanted him to kill me or him to kill himself in front of me, that he could do that. I was just taken aback by the response and guess that this just signifies nothing much can be done to salvage the friendship since he could think that I am such a person to gloat over his current situation.

Do You have Any Regrets in Life
Incidentally, last Saturday, a friend messaged me to ask if I have any regrets in life and yes, my greatest regret to date is that this friendship could sour so easily over the span of a few months. The friendship had meant a lot to me and it was a painful decision to make to let go and move on. To this date, it still remains a great regret.

Throughout the evening, as I related the sequence of events to my friend in the cafe, I almost teared but I guess things have gotten to such a stage that it has became irreconciliable. In fact, the past 2 christmas has been sad times for me and as I walked through citilink, making my way home alone, I couldn't help feeling sad as they piped-in "Jingle Bells" into the mall PA. To date, I still sometimes ask this common friend how Z is doing since he is the only source through whom I can be updated about how this dear ex-friend is doing.

Learning from Bad Experiences
I believe every bad experiences bring with it a lesson to learnt. To date, I have lived a relatively blessed life although I do have 5 "memorable" bad experiences;

1. my attachment mate complaining to my attachment supervisor that I copied her work when in fact I did not,
2. I stupidly being interrogated by police on the day my "A" level results are being released. The police suspected me of car theft, just because my friends who were smoking in NS uniform ran away when they saw the patrol car (they were afraid of being caught smoking in uniform). The police even called my commanding officer to inform him about it but fortunately my CO just laughed it off, knowing my personality,
3. death of my beloved grandmother; first-time witnessing the death of a loved one,
4. being disappointed by a boss that I had so respected and
5. souring of a friendship.

You can see that out of the 5 experiences, 4 are to do with being hurt by people. It is no wonder I am always so uncomfortable in social situations because I am afraid of being hurt again and will always be slow to warm up to people.

From this particular experience, I have learnt not to ever work with a friend lest I am prepared for the friendship to sour. It is difficult working with a friend because it is inevitable that you will have higher expectation of friends as colleagues and when these expectations are not met, conflicts and disappointment occurs.

At the beginning, when I learnt that my G was looking for staff and I recommended Z to take the job, I did not expect things to turn out this way. I still remember that when Z got the job, we went out for dinner with a friend and Z jokingly commented that we have to be careful of conflicts since we work for the same boss. Ironically, I jokingly replied that this will never happen, only for the worst to occur just a few months down the road. I have learnt the hard way...

You Must Be Happy?!

Listen to this article

Today is a fun day, had been out of office the whole day to help out at a large-scale event involving all the children, youth and elderly beneficiaries under the care of my organization. It is basically a whole day of games and activities and it was fun seeing them have fun...

Having the Best View of Things
I ran about the whole day being the photographer and videographer and like the experience of it because I constantly had to be on the lookout for interesting shots as well as had the permission to watch performances with a good view, since we can stand near to the stage (hahahaha).

Big Boo Boo
I was also in-charged of the welcome party which comprised children, youth, elderly beneficiaries as well as adult volunteers. I was to line them up at a particular time to welcome the VIP, Dr Teo. However, something funny happened. As I was rehearsing with the welcome party, a lady walked through together with our commander, so someone thought that the VIP was here and immediately informed the emcee who got all 700 guests to stand to welcome the "VIP", hahaha happened to be a false alarm. I was caught unaware and was thinking at the back of my mind: "the VIP is here already?! Thought Dr Teo is a "he"?" Ended up is a big boo boo and the emcee apologized hahaha... well at least my welcome party had a good rehearsal hahaha.

"You Must Be Happy?"
Halfway through the event, I received a call from my ex-office. It happens that my new director (who will be reporting for work next Monday) has called me to asked if I am free to meet up to help him understand a bit of the work since I was in-charge of a key project. Despite having left the place, I agreed to meet him after the event (since my ex-office was in the area) because I had put in a lot of effort in my project and hate to see all the effort wasted. I may have left the organization due to great displeasure with my ex-acting-head then but felt I shouldn't be selfish and penalize the organization because of her.

When I eventually arrived at my old office at 5.30pm, I saw the new director talking to my ex-acting head at the reception. My ex-acting head saw me and went to open the door for me but the first greeting that came out of her mouth was:

"you must be happy in your new workplace?!"

I was caught unaware and knew not how to respond. To me, it sounded like a sacarstic remark and I did not want and and did not know how to respond to that. Why must she be so sacarstic? Anyway, my director sensed a bit of discomfort on my side and invited me into his office (away from my ex-acting head) to discuss matters.

To this day, I am still greatly taken aback and affected by her remark. What did she mean when she said that? Why must people be sacarstic?

Registration for Salvation is Open!

Listen to this article

Today's staff devotion at my workplace is based on Revelation Chapter 20 (which speaks of the "doomsday" or "judgment day" that most people know it by):

⁴I saw thrones on which were seated those who had been given authority to judge. And I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded because of their testimony for Jesus and because of the word of God. They had not worshiped the beast or his image and had not received his mark on their foreheads or their hands. They came to life and reigned with Christ a thousand years. ⁵(The rest of the dead did not come to life until the thousand years were ended.) This is the first resurrection. ⁶Blessed and holy are those who have part in the first resurrection. The second death has no power over them, but they will be priests of God and of Christ and will reign with him for a thousand years.

¹²And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. ¹³The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to what he had done. ¹⁴Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. ¹⁵If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.

Why do we run the race?
It was shared that although we do not know when the second coming of Jesus will be but we, as Christians, can prepare for it. My colleague related to us how a christian has asked him one day at a service: "since we are christians and saved by Grace, why do we need to continue to go to church, take part in ministry?"

Registration opens
His response was: "As christians, yes we are saved by Grace, but we need to continue to run the race." With the second coming, it almost seems that resurrection is like primary school registration; conducted in phase: phase 1 (unconditional resurrection) for those who have been faithful Christians and phase 2 (where "books were opened" and each is to give an account of the things they have done in their lives and then their names will be checked against that in the Book of Life) for all others. Those whose names were not found in the Book of Life will be "thrown into the lake of fire".

Am I Ready?
This sharing has caused me to really think: is the Second Coming going to be here soon? The world really seems upside down and I really do not know how things are going to go on like that... SARS, tsunami, dengue, bird flu, mad cow disease etc... and if the Second Coming is indeed coming soon, am I ready for it? Will I be in "phase 1" or in "phase 2" where I have to give a account of my whole life as "books are opened" and my name to be checked in the Book of Life?

Theology vs Me-ology
On the other hand, I am trying to remind myself that I am worshipping God not because of this imminent judging but because I have seen miracles happen in my life after I went back to church, and because I really glorify and thank God for all the wonderful works.

I have recently come to realize that it is amazing how my neck pain, which has been troubling me for years (and I had pillows but to no avail), has gone and I am relatively a happier person now than I was a couple of months ago. My life continue to be blessed and I continue to see the wonders of God's work and creation... I continue to glorify God for all these. Words cannot explain some of the little miracles that has happened...

• When I left my last job depressed and not knowing where I will be going, I prayed for guidance and was "offered" a job in a christian organization. I eventually landed up with a perfect job; good job prospects, good working environment, nice people, good professional development opportunities, good spiritual development opportunities, near my house.
• When I was down and out, I was brought back to attend church and every struggle that I had during that personal crisis period, the message from sermon that week seems to address it (this happened more than once).
• My dramatic "homecoming" to Christ (cross-reference: here)
  
• How despite being new to the job, I continue to meet and be blessed with nice colleagues who helped me to avoid big mistakes
• How despite being lost when given projects, the right volunteers with the right skills seem to come along everytime I prayed for it
• How I was reminded that I need to keep my promise to God and came down with food poisoning when I failed to deliver a promise on the same day
  

I guess I don't want to be the "Cat-type Christian" (highlighted in my other blog entry) and be worshipping for the wrong reasons. I wanted to be worshipping and glorifying God in appreication of what he has done for us and having sent his only son to die on the cross for us to pay for our sins, so that we can come closer to God. Hmmm... food for thought...

Signing Begins

Listen to this article

Learnt a bit of sign language from my colleague today and I must say I am getting the hang of it hahaha (though constantly ask her to sign slowly). OK here are the words I learnt today:

Thank You
Welcome
Slow-ly, Slow-er
Fast-er
Very good
Teacher
Yes
No
Busy
A lot of work
OK
Wow
Lunch
What about you?
A to J

Now the challenging thing is to remember them hahaha.

Made an appointment to go lunch with both my hearing impaired colleague and another colleague to have lunch together one day and we will learn signing together :) As for today, my whole department and a couple others from another deparment met for lunch and drove to eat Jalan Sultan Prawn Mee (with pork ribs / bak kut) and Ngoh Hiang Prawn Crackers at Jalan Ayer, off Lor 1 Geylang... unique! Yet another place to add to my google earth, yippy!

Here's some photos taken (not by me):

Jalan Sultan Prawn Mee by shimmertje


Ngor Hiang Assortment by shimmertje

Survivial Guide: New Job

Listen to this article

It has been almost a month in my new job and I seem to be settling in rather quickly. Various factors may have made this possible and here I try to unravel what these factors may be. Again I don't profess this is THE ULTIMATE guide but this is just simply a self reflection of what has helped me to settle into my job relatively quickly.

1. Knowing What MOTIVATES You
   I think that it is essential that before one can really love a job, he/she really needs to know what he/she is looking for in a job; knowing what would make a person say: "Yes, this is the job for me!" How do you love a job when you don't even know what pushes you?
   
   For me, it becomes clear that a job will motivate me if I am trusted and given the autonomy to be as creative as possible, if I get a sense of achievement being able to understand the system as well as establish systems for my own work processes, if my work is being appreciated (no need for tangible recognition but at least appreciation of the value of the work), if I can respect my superior and can see where he/she is leading the team, and if I am in a family-like working culture (with little or most ideally no politics).
   
   
2. Knowing your JOB
   In order to settle into a job, you will of course need to know the job description (J.D.) which is a reflection of your organization's expectations of you as a worker and the skills set needed to achieve the desired outcome. Since you will also report to superior(s), it is also important to find out these superiors' expectations of you in your job (you do not have to explicitly ask them about it). Going a step further, expectations form visions and it is also good to know where people foresee your job, department or organization is going to e.g. they may see your portfolio as being critical to the growth of the organization and may even set up a department in the future.
   
   
3. Knowing your ORGANIZATION
   You need to have a good understanding of the organization; its mission, its vision, its business, its history and its structure.
   
   Knowing the history of the organization would give you vital clues about the path the organization have taken to get to where it is today and from this you can tell the business ethos of the people in charge as well as areas that you may have to pay more attention to or even avoid e.g. taboo topics etc.
   
   Knowing the mission, vision, structure and business would give you a better idea where you stand in the scheme of things. Of vital importance is the communication and decision-making structure, so you know who to turn to for what and avoid stepping on peoples' toes unnecessarily
   
   
4. Knowing the POSITION'S TRACK RECORD
   Spend some time to read through old documentation and files to have a brief understanding of what was done by the person before (if the person is still in the organization, try to make an appointment to meet the person to find out more about the job and its challenges etc). Reading about the track record will give you an idea of what has been done, how it has been done, what is permissible to be done and what is not, what some of the resources are. It would be a blessing if the person before left with a proper documentation system. All these would help you understand and settle into your job faster. Lastly, you will most probably have a lot of crazy ideas (both new ideas as well as those inspired by research on what is done outside your organization), jot these down as these "gut feelings" are usually quite accurate and you never will know when you will use them. Most of the time, as we become more settled into a job, we become less willing to take risk and become less creative. It is at times like these that you can take your ideas out for "revival". From here, you will also know what some of the immediate tasks and projects that you have to undertake.
   
   
5. Knowing the PEOPLE
   People form your working environment and it is important you know especially the people who you will be working with. You also need to take note of the culture of people; what drives a group of people and what drives a group of people mad. Usually different departments will have different culture and it is important you find out about these cultures also to avoid stepping on people's toes unnecessarily.
   
   
6. Knowing WORK PROCESSES
   Spend some time to look into how a job is being done by reviewing job workflows. If none exist, try to draw one out (especially if you are a visual person) and try to see how things can be done better. You might want to do some workflow review later on to better the way things are being done. You will also need to know protocols e.g. how to request for stationery, how to apply for leave, how to apply for training, how to make photocopy, how to make claims etc
   [Hint: Your work processes should enable you to handover your job with ease when you leave your job i.e. all the filing, documents, procedures are well documented. Let's face it, being diligent in your work processes helps you ensure work is done efficiently and effectively (thus making life easier for you) as well as helps the next person taking over from you with ease (and leaving a good "legacy" as well as a good reputation). Yes you are right, begin your work with the mentality that you will leave one day. As my friend told me: no one is indispensible in an organization.]
   
   
7. Knowing your TOOLS OF YOUR TRADE
   The last part is getting acquainted with the tools of your trade that would help you do your work and these will include your PC, phone, website portals, forms etc. Make sure you know how to use them to help you make proper use of available resources to do your work efficiently and effectively.
   
   
8. Establishing your WORK ROUTINE (NEW)
   You will most probably have a lot of tasks to competing for your attention, some of which would be linked together, i.e. the completion of one task will be dependent on another. Take for example my job: In my job, I need to attend to public enquiries coming in through the phonecalls, emails and even walk-ins, managing volunteers e.g. interviewing, selecting, placing etc, monitor projects, check the news on the latest on volunteerism, attending meetings both in and outside of office as well as travelling to the centres to meet volunteers etc. As such, I needed a work routine to help me track my projects and work as well as manage my schedule so that I will not be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
   
   As such a typical beginning of the day would be:
   (1) Arrive at Office
   (2) Check voice mail (for public enquiries)
   (3) Scan the day's news for articles on volunteerism
   (4) Checking my palmtop for today's to-do
   (5) Checking my Lotus Notes and palmtop for today's events
   (6) Checking email for follow-up work and public enquiries
   (7) Checking my files for outstanding volunteer placements and projects
   (8) Writing a checklist of items needed to be followed-up today (adding new items to it whenever necessary)
   
   Then at the end of the day...
   (1) Check voice mail (for public enquiries)
   (2) Update Lotus Notes and palmtop (new to-do and events)
   (3) Check Lotus Notes and palmtop for events needing attention in the next 3 days
   

So far, I think knowing this would give one a rather good headstart (and not a good headache) in a new job. All the best!

BZZZZZZZZZZZ

Listen to this article

Super "bumble-bee" busy day today. Can't believe I was just on MC for one day and when I returned, I had 7 voice messages and several emails to follow-up.

Anyway, today is a real fulfilling day because managed to clear quite a bit of work (working literally non-stop from the time I stepped into office) and managed to establish and refine workflow and came out with systems in handling my work. I think after working in 3 jobs, it becomes quite clear where my strengths lie... in establishing systems and also creative (to date, despite only being in the job for just 4 weeks, I have a list of 10 over ideas of doing my work creatively).

But I remember what my friend told me: "Do not be in a hurry to proof yourself, start with a consistent commitment to run the race and time will tell." Yup, don't wanna fall sick again :)

Bzzzzzzzz (not zzzzzzzz) .....

There's No Business Like Show Business

Listen to this article

I have literally grown up with TV and saw how TV has evolved from the time the main TV station was SBC (Singapore Broadcasting Corporation), till it became TCS (Television Corporation of Singapore), to Mediacorp and MediaWorks and finally back to Mediacorp alone again.

I do not know whether it is a feeling of nostalgia but despite having more channels now: Channel 5, Channel 8, Channel U, Suria, Central (Kids, Arts and Vasantham), Channel News Asia, TV Mobile, I am not one bit thrilled with the TV shows I see now; no comparison to the TV shows of the good old days...

I mean, look at some of the programmes being shown at primetime and you will know what I mean. Other than what I have lamented about portrayal of violence, sex and gore on TV in my blog entry at http://codfishy.blogspot.com/2005/09/what-in-world-is-wrong-with-this-world.html, I just found more reasons to further lament about how ridiculous TV shows have become... The whole purpose of entertainment now seems to be "sell what the majority wants to see; that's the priority".

Fame Awards
Look at fame for example. Fame used to be accorded to people with extraordinary talents (e.g. acting, hosting etc) in the past but then this seems to have changed; Fame (now) = Looking "Cute" / Good Packaging.

I somehow feel that with the recent successful experiment, Project SuperStar (even though Channel 5 started with its "not-as-successful" Singapore Idol), the media here seems to be quick to hitch onto this success and started to push out "Star Idol", "SuperHost" and "Campus SuperStar" all within a few months; literally illustrating the meaning of hopping onto the bandwagon, which seems to be running fast away.

Don't get me wrong; I have nothing against Project SuperStar and its contestants. I did follow the contest and saw how the contestants did better round after round. However, all these came crashing down when I saw their variety show recently. The show supposedly rounded up 10 of the contestants to host a lifestyle programme, recommending the "latest hangouts, spunkiest restaurants, trendiest gadgets, coolest fashion, latest movies, music and hottest entertainment news...".

But... the hosts lacked hosting talents and worse, when they started to sing, I was like thinking "what happened to all their intensive training?!", it sounded horrible... While older artistes may lament that they will have to prove themselves in order to get a show of their own, these "superstars" got their own show in less than a year!

I recognize that stars need time to nurture their talents but do we need to compromise standards? It is almost like saying to me: "Yes, we have a lot of channels but then this is the kind of programme you are gonna see just because it sells, nevermind how corny or silly it is; you just have no choice!"

A local serial also started yesterday and it was described as a "production-of-the-year not to be missed". But I was so disappointed with the debut episode which seems to be more focused on pretty face guys and babes dancing. Some of their acting suck, the plot weak and confusing and the dialogue exaggerating.

Featuring (and Promoting) the Negative Side of Humanity
Of course, don't get me started with the kind of themes being portrayed in TV shows nowadays... violence, sex and gore are just the tip of the ice-berg (read http://codfishy.blogspot.com/2005/09/what-in-world-is-wrong-with-this-world.html), then there are also themes dealing with adultery and being unscrupulous.

From the name of one of the TV show "Tong Xin Yuan", a local TV serial being shown at primetime, I would think that it is one of those shows promoting family but I was just shocked to see themes such as greed, betrayal, sex being portrayed in the show... call me old-fashion but then are these themes suitable for 7pm shows, supposedly the time when traditional asian families gather together for dinner and watch TV?

I still like the old TV serials better; those pro-families ones don't merely paint a beautiful picture of family life but depict how it is normal for families to have their various differences and struggles but will somehow, in the end, triumph over these adversities as a family. At least no negative values for the young ones.

Dumb and Dumber
Now, what about game shows? Game shows should be harmless right? Well, yes, I had seen a fair share of game shows with wonderful educational value but then there are also game shows with games that are plain stupid!

Firstly, the concept has changed: in the past, stars host game shows and the contestants are normal viewers like you and I, who are given a chance to win prizes... now game show contestants are stars themselves (which I think has greater entertainment value). But whenever a star wins a game and takes away with them a car or $5000 in cash, I will think "do they need that money in the first place?" (well, maybe you will argue: they are human after all)

Secondly, the games played are getting dumber by the day; with the aim of humiliating, torturing or grossing people out. It is commonsight to find game shows where the forfeit would either be to humiliate a star e.g. making them pole-dance, torture a star e.g. stretching a rubber band further and further away from his/her head only to release it later or daring stars to do gross things like in fear factor e.g. eating pig rectum etc.

Some games are also so illogical. For example, there is a recent game show on chinese culture and two contestants have to vie with one another for points, answering questions on the chinese culture. However, here's the stupid part: At the end of the game, 3 final questions will be asked. If a person answers a question correctly, he/she will get all his/her opponent's marks. If I were the contestant, it doesn't matter to answer the questions correctly since all it takes is for me to answer the final question correctly and I will get all the points. How silly?!

Knowledge is Power
We all know that knowledge is power and teenagers who know about sex will not engage in pre-marital sex and unnecessary abortions right? Not in my opinion! I feel it is just like a pandora box. The question is, how much knowledge is enough? Should we present to teenagers the full range of sex knowledge before they "fully understand" (no pun intended)?

Take for example a recent TV show, Love Airways, which "is the first of its kind late-night TV show with the aim to educate sex- and intimacy-related topics from dating, anatomy, sexual wellness to sexually-transmitted diseases". Yes true enough, "late-night" but do teenagers turn in at 10.30pm? Will exposing these to them make them more curious instead rather than douse their curiosity, that would in the first place get them into trouble?

Of course, TV shows of great value still exists (thank God) but these are few and in between.

This is of course, my own point of view.

My Very Own Blogsticker!

Listen to this article

Made a blogsticker for my blog. Here it is!



Make your own at http://www.jngm.net/arjlog/sticker.html

Back in Business (Almost)!

Listen to this article

Horrible Experience
Am back in business (and so is my digestive system)! Just came out of a horrible weekend; was down with food poisoning and it was such a horrible experience, the worst I have felt thus far. Someone remind me not to ever ever get food poisoning again. So far 2 times is good enough and the experience was horrible... the last time I had to admit myself into A&E and was literally struggling semi-consciously with the pain. This time, it was no exception, stomach hurt a lot and it hurt no matter whether I was standing, sitting or sleeping, kept vomiting (seriously felt nauseous whenever I see food) and I felt so so dehydrated.

Touched by Angels
Started having symptoms of food poisoning on saturday afternoon but somehow just dismissed as mere tummy ache and bloatedness but the pain got so unbearable that my friends had to accompany me to the doctor's. On top of my stomachache, I also had to deal with heartache; paid some $70 for just seeing the doctor for less than 5 minutes but guess I had no choice since that was the nearest clinic around. The pain soon subsided a bit but then I left my friends behind to make my way home to rest... really touched by my friends who showed much care and concern during the time I was so sick that I could barely walk properly.

Sick 2nd Time in 2 Weeks
Anyway, this is the 2nd time I am ill in 2 weeks and had to call in sick. Somehow felt uncomfy doing it since I am still new on the job but no choice... Called my boss this morning and told her that I was down with food poisoning and will not be able to report for work. Somehow felt rather irresponsible since I was supposed to help out at a major event rehearsal today and attend another important meeting in the afternoon. In the end, I rested for half a day and took a cab down for that meeting (ouch!) and a cab back again (double ouch!). OK, heartache liaoz... need to go rest :) Oh ya, arm also a bit pain after injection on Saturday, funny it shouldn't hurt right?